“Christianity didn’t become a world religion because of the quality of its teachings, but by the quantity of its violence.” -Eleanor Ferguson.

I am so ready for the first of Halloween.

Give a ghost the right pair of shoes and they’ll conquer the world.

Super hot where I am today, so have a summer spook.

Send me pics of your ghost costumes :> 

Why is everyone into dom ghosts…?

They’re single and ready to mingle~

if I ever reblog a long as shit post, it’s this

sorry

notreally

It’s ONLY October 1st and already y’all are reblogging the weird shit!!???

This is the longest set of cursed images I’ve ever seen

i t i s t i m e

—

Anne Lamott. 

Some trans guy tips from your dad

@shyguyshiloh @kuchenkat

Spread the word, especially for the board shorts thing!!!!!! They do WONDERS for making hips appear slimmer!!!!!

@cloudstreamer

for my masculine children :-*

Adding a couple things. 

-Patience is a virtue you need to come to terms with. Even on T, things take time. My voice dropped immediately, but my cycle continued for 6 months. We’re all different. 

-In the summer, HYDRATE YOURSELF. A binder is an extra layer, and mine have always been very warm. 

-When its not too hot, layers are your friend. You’d be surprised what even simply an undershirt can do to smooth out your look. 

-You are going to get misgendered. This is a fact, and it sucks. Learn to politely correct people. Remember you might be the first (openly) trans person they meet, so be a good ambassador. 

-When you start T, your smell will change. You will sweat like you’ve never sweat before, and it WILL STINK. Adjust your bathing habits accordingly. 

*coughs in direction of my trans friendos*

If you have a really large chest you might do better with Underworks binders. They aren’t pretty, they’re not soft, but they do a good job and were the first on the market for a very long time. I couldn’t stand gc2b so if you’re like me, try Underworks.

Don’t double bind.

DON’T USE DUCK TAPE. I still have scars from a dumb decision I made as a teen and I’m 31 now.

When the time comes for top surgery, shop around. Find someone who will tailor your chest to your needs. Look at their portfolio. Compare surgeons. See if you can find someone who will work with your health insurance if you have it.

Be safe. Be healthy. Take your time. It’s not a race or a competition.

*incoherent screaming* MY TRANS MEN/ TRANS MASCULINE FOLLOWERS, L O O K👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

I know a lot of my friends are Trans men so look!!

@romeo-appreciation-squad @sxft-bxy-mlm @existential-pasta @undervaluedagent hey guys look

If you don’t mind, I’d also add

These are all I can think of at the moment, but they really helped me

Oh, hey, nonbinary AFAB here! Would like to add that if you live in a country where medical prescriptions are cheap and you don’t have to jump through millions of hoops to get one, going on the Pill if you can’t get a testosterone prescription works wonders for period-related dysphoria (and it’s probably easier most places to get that prescription if you inquire about it because of ‘painful periods’). Also, I knew a trans guy who when he was pre-T learned contour in order to sharpen his jawline and honestly when he perfected it I genuinely didn’t recognise him for three solid minutes until I noticed his backpack. 

— Beau Taplin

idk who needs to hear this but your body is loveable 

Prompt #499

Was it the polite thing to do? Definitely not.

Was it the right thing to do? Not really.

Did it feel amazing? Hell yeah!

IT’S HALLOWEEN TIME TO GET SPOOKY

I T S T H E M I D D L E O F J U N E

I T I S H A L L O W E E N T I M E T O G E T S P O O K Y

ok who the fuck got this on my dash it’s still june

get spooky

how does this appear every june

GUYS ITS SPOOKY TIME AGAIN

G E T S P O O K Y

Always.

Nice try fuckers.

$175K wasted with every reblog.

Let’s make sure they DON’T get their money’s worth.

Oh hey, my 2020 vision says THE INTERNET NEVER FORGETS, MOTHERFUCKERS.

Hey, so what exactly was that cops name again…?

Lt. John Pike. It took more than two years of legal battles to get his name, and the names of other officers involved, released to the public. 

He got fired… but retained his retirement benefits, and got  $38,000 worth of worker’s compensation for the stress he went through after the incident.

The students collectively received $1m, with each pepper-sprayed student receiving $30,000 individually.

We aren’t fucking forgetting.

monsterfriends #26

Humans are Loyal if Properly Bonded

I was in charge of feeding the prisoners. This had been my task since the Queen had taken me and 2 dozen other Murania as hostages. The others had not survived long, but I adapted. Obeyed.

The Queen had taken a human. A rare being this far into the Deep, but one feared from one end of the galaxy to the other. According to the Encyclopedia of Sentient Beings Capable of Space Travel, humans needed a diet of roughly 2000 calories a sol served in traditional 3 portions a sol. Which meant that I had to approach the human three times a sol. I could not fail my duties.

The first attempt at feeding the large being ended with a tray thrown at my head with enough force that it would have caved my skull if I had not ducked in time. The human was raging, slamming their entire body against the containment bars with enough force to shake the floor and… and roaring. I cleaned the mess of nutrient paste as fast as I could and fled.

But five hours later found me trembling in front of the human’s cage with another tray of nutrient paste. The human had calmed and was glaring at me intently. I knew they did not speak Murania, but still I spoke my native language as I offered the food again. I did not get to speak it often and missed the sound. “Guria?”

The human tilted their head and to my shock, repeated the word, then repeated it again until they mimicked the sound perfectly, even with the slight whistle at the end.

I offered the tray. “Guria.”

They eyed it suspiciously so I tasted it, showing it to be safe. “Guria.”

They held their hand out and I gave them the tray, scuttling to a safe corner before they could attack me with it again.

They tilted their head again and scowled, then spoke in broken Common. “I thank”

I fled, claws scratching against the shiny floor.

Another five hours passed all too soon and I was back at the human’s cage with the final meal of the sol. They were moving slowly around the cage with their ear pressed to the wall, tapping with their knuckles. I watched them for a moment, confused at the erratic behaviour, but only managed a few seconds of observation before their head swiveled directly towards me and they stopped to face me.

I walked closer and offered the tray. “Guria.”

They took it. “How talk thank in you mouth talk?”

“Meesh Meesh.”

They opened their mouth and let out a loud, short bark, a laugh according to the ESBCST. (I studied it dutifully when they were brought aboard.) “Meesh Meesh!” They pointed to themselves. “Michael.”

My wings ruffled, the sound was so similar! I pointed to myself, “Mikel”

The human shook their head and pointed to themselves. “Me Michael.”

I jerked my head in an upward motion called a nod. “Yes, you,’ I pointed to them, “Michael.” I pointed to myself. “I, Mikel.”

They laughed again. “Michael, Mikel. Much same.”

I chittered. “Very similar, yes.”

Their eyes narrowed. “You work here?”

I bobbed sideways, a bit noncommittal, “As I must.”

“Must work?”

I searched for the simplest way to translate what I meant across the language barrier. “No work, in there.” I pointed to their cage. “Work, out here.” I hopped encouragingly. “You work soon, yes?”

The human bared their teeth and snarled. “No work. Fight.”

My wings flattened against my spine and I fled. Humans were so aggressive.

The next sol I completed my first duties and then found myself lingering outside the containment hall. I was apprehensive about what mood I would find the human in this time. I fluffed my wings out to convey confidence and clicked in with the human’s first meal.

“Mikel! Guria?” They were bouncing on the front part of their feet, hopping up and touching the ceiling, then dropping to the floor and pushing themselves up with their arms repeatedly.

“Yes. What are you doing?” I slid the tray to where they could reach and backed to a… well not safe but safer, distance.

“Work body. Stay strong.” They flopped over onto their back and turned their head to look at me. “Meesh Meesh.”

“Zuan.” I bobbed sideways before deciding to ask them the question I had been mulling over. “You’re Nice, mean, nice, mean.”

Michael laughed. “Yeah. Head bad.” They hooked their fingers like claws and shook them around their head. “Scare, tired, Fight.” They gestured to the bars and glared. “Not like.”

I nodded. “I know that feeling.” A chime sounded, signaling the Queen’s approach. I flattened myself to the floor and made way.

The Queen slithered in, her scaled body scraping against the floor with a sound that made my feathers stand up. She reared to her full two meter height and flicked her tongue out to taste the air.

“Human. You are mine now, you will serve the glory of me.”

Michael looked her up and down and whistled lowly then pronounced in exact Common. “Ugly. Mother. Fucker.”

I gaped at them in horror. They dared insult the Queen to her face?

The Queen hissed, but smugly coiled. “You will serve me, human. I know your kind. You are loyal. I feed you, I provide you shelter. I give you safety. You will love me.”

The human backed up, crouching into a fighting stance. “No love, mother fucker.”

The Queen wiggled and slid towards the exit. “You will serve me.” They paused to pat me on the head. “You have duties, tiny one.”

The next several sols passed in the same manner. I did my duties, I fed the human, we exchanged words. At night I tended my secret garden grown in glasses of water and composted nutrient paste from seeds and cuttings I snuck from the Queen’s hoard. The human was learning not only Common but Murania at a breathtaking pace. We could hold whole conversations now and I was no longer… completely apprehensive about approaching their cage. Michael had not acted aggressive towards me at all since the Queen’s visit.

The rare human plant called a “green bean” plant had fruited after several months of care and pollinating with the tip of my own feather. I was ecstatic over the first fruits of my secret labor and I felt that Michael would appreciate my excitement and maybe a taste of his home planet. Humans were said to be incredibly empathetic and sentimental.

That morning I secreted a pair of bean pods in my uniform and headed for Micheal’s cage. They seemed to notice something was different right away, peering at me with concern. “All okay, Mikel?”

I nodded and nervously whispered. “Secret, right?”

They lowered their voice and moved closer to the bars. “Yeah, secret.”

I showed him the beans. “I grew these. It’s the first harvest from the plant! It’s a huge secret, but I wanted you to have them.”

Michael stared at the beans with an expression I didn’t recognize for a long time before whispering, their voice strangely rough. “You get trouble for these?”

I nodded and tried to shove the beans into their hands. “Yes, a lot of trouble. Take them!”

They took them and smiled. “Meesh Meesh, Mikel. This…. This mean lot to me. I can’t say enough. Meesh Meesh.” They bit into one and grinned, crunching happily. “Very good! You do good!”

I chittered and ruffled my wings, pleased with the praise. “Zuan, Michael.” I gave them their tray of nutrient paste and fled.

The next day (human word for sol) I found a broken something in the Queen’s trash bin. It was silvery and had a lot of moving parts and made me think of Michael. I shoved it into my uniform and snuck it to Michael. They were overjoyed and immediately began fiddling (another human word I find pleasant to use) with it.

I found I enjoyed making Michael happy and kept my eyes out for things to gift them. A broken flute, a torn book, a shiny rock shard, a discarded pipe, a bit of string. It all was random junk, but Michael was still so happy for each item. It… was a pleasant feeling, almost like being back with my brood mates.

Then… Then the alarms sounded one morning and the ship rocked with an explosion. Frightened, I grabbed my precious green bean plant and rushed instinctively towards Michael’s cage.

Only to find they weren’t there. The bars were broken, bent outward and a piece of the wall was torn open, exposing sparking wires and smashed circuits. The lights were flickering and I could hear screaming. I decided to run for the escape pods and hoped that the Queen died in that explosion.

I had barely skittered into the hallway when I found Michael. They were fighting with a guard twice their size, but easily leaped around it’s bulk and stabbed it in the base of the skull with some sort of spear. A primitive weapon, but still deadly in the hands of the human. Michael rode the body of the guard down to the ground and leaped off, brandishing the spear at me.

Frozen in fear, I distantly realized the weapon was made from the shiny rock tied to a piece of pipe. I was to die from a weapon I provided then.

Except, Michael lowered the weapon and smiled. “Mikel! I find you! Come on! We get out of here!”

“Out… Escape?”

“Yeah! C’mon, I stole codes for ship!”

I followed them numbly, too scared and shocked to process that not only had a single human escaped a 1st class prison cell with just bits of junk, but had also destroyed the Pirate Queen’s ship, and was taking me with them.

It wasn’t until we were flying fast and far from the wreckage, headed towards a Trading Station, that I found my voice. “Why… Why would you save me? I…” I didn’t know how to express the fact that I was nothing, tiny, worth only for cleaning while the human was strong, big, and apparently a fearsome and brilliant warrior.

Michael glanced at me from the corner of their eyes. “We friends, Mikel. Friends no leave friends. Also, you trapped like me. On other side of bars, but trapped same.”

“Friends? But Queen provided for you, you were supposed to bond with her?!”

The human looked at me incredulously before laughing long and loud, his head thrown back with the effort of it. “No Bond with Queen, she put me in cage. You! You give me food, you talk, teach, you bring me presents. You good friend. Queen Piece of Shit.”

“Oh.” Michael had bonded with me. And.. I with them it seemed. And we were free. “Meesh meesh, Michael. You’re a good friend too.” I hugged my green bean plant. “What now?”

“I thinking I turn in Queen head for bounty, use money buy good ship again. After, you want go home or you want explore?”

My wings flared in excitement. “Can I have a garden room on our ship?”

Michael grinned and tossed his arm (gently) around my shoulders. “Yes, you have garden room. Grow lots plant in space. Explore! Garden! New Planet! New Seed!”

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6 , Part 7

Full Story on A3o

please know that australia is on fire. we’ve lost 10 times the amount of land the amazon rainforest lost. we are in drought. no one is talking about it. our government is ignoring climate change. the firefighters are now paying for fuel for their trucks out of their own pockets. our prime minister refuses international help. people are dying. wildlife are dying. the fires are catastrophic and spreading so fast. please hear us. my home is burning. it is spring.

I live almost 1000 km away from the bulk of the fires. That’s more than 600 miles. My city is full of smoke. People are warned to stay indoors. My country is burning. People are dying.

There are fires raging to the south and the north. Small towns are rationing water to 100L/person/day so they can divert enough water to the firefighting to make a difference. A fire bomber crashed and we lost a valuable asset. Our fireys are risking their lives to keep us alive. My country is burning. People are dying.

Cities are burning. Cities that no one thought would even be susceptible to fire are going down in flames. Over 600 schools were closed today due to fire and smoke danger. Whole towns are being evacuated. People are facing a choice to leave their homes and livelihoods or die inside them. My country is burning. People are dying.

My area is not generally prone to fire. I live in a flood region. We are prepared for floods, we can handle them. Even kids know what to do. The kids don’t know what to do when they’re suddenly told to go home to their families and make an evacuation plan. The kid I babysit was told in class to make sure her family has a plan to evacuate. She is 9. She is scared. We are all scared. My country is burning. People are dying.

My family’s farm has been with us for generations, and may soon be no more. My cousins who manage it aren’t eligible for government subsidies to truck in the water they need to keep the cattle alive. My hometown’s nationally-known dairy industry is on the brink of collapse because real rain has not graced the dried paddocks in three years. Small towns are seeing up to 30% of businesses in crisis because of revenue lost to the fires and drought. My country is burning. People are dying.

The date is November 15, 2019. This is not the past. This is now. The world is falling apart around us. My country is burning. People are dying. Please help us.

Reblog if you're black tumblr.

You don’t have to be black, it just means you support us, you stand by us and you’re for us.

100%

200%

Someone who’s black or supports black people and their human rights. it literally says that in the description. “You don’t have to be black, it just means you support us, you stand by us and you’re for us.” 

Why the fuck does this not have more notes wtf.

I support you.

Of course!!

not even a question. Support EVERYONE, no matter race, sexuality, religion, etc.

If you can’t reblog this please unfollow me

♥💙💚💛💜❤

I was tagged by @sherlockedcarmilla (aka my fanfic mother) to post the first line of my ten most recent fics! Unfortunately I only have seven total, but here they are! 

*All are Johnlock.*

-> Newest to oldest!

His Limits (1218 w., Granada)

“It was not long after I moved into Baker Street that Holmes and I were invited to a post-case celebration with some officers of the yard.”

There’s Always Two (2209 w., Granada)

“During a summer night in 1896, Holmes and I found ourselves separated during one of the many cases which normally brought us together.” 

From the Flowers (1586 w., Granada)

“When Holmes returned from his supposed death, I immediately suggested I sell my practice and resume residence at 221 Baker Street.”

Resolutions to Keep (7151 w., BBC Sherlock)

“’And that’s how I knew our man could be none other than Mr. Claus himself.’”

A Soldier’s Sleeping Habits (507 w., Granada)

“The moonlight enhanced the glow radiating off Holmes while he examined the success of his work.”

For Another Night With You (430 w., Granada)

“’Sorry, only one room left tonight,’ apologized the inn-keeper with a tone that indicated his customer service was rarely practiced.

Watered Down (1236 w. Granada)

“Of all the cases we had encountered throughout the years, perhaps my most preferred were the ones in which my companion and I took to the countryside.”

I second @sherlockedcarmilla‘s tags and add @nimwallace :)

Love this @todaywearesoldiers ! Here’s mine, most recent to last:

The Florist:

John opened his windows and turned the car radio down.

It was a nice day out to travel, all sunshine and perfectly medium-warm temperatures and light breezes, but it still felt a bit hard to breathe in the air.

His Virtues:

If I could tell you each of the virtues of my loyal friend and colleague Doctor John Watson, I daresay this document would stretch to impossible lengths and become incredibly dull to anyone who did not have the pleasure of observing Doctor Watson as I have.

Sympathy:

Sherlock Holmes sometimes reminded me of John Milton.

Not that he bore a particular physical resemblance to the man, but that he spoke in some similarly fantastic ways—he took evil and chaos and the nature of the human soul and spoke of them with strange beauty.

The Greatest Love Story Never Told:

“Mr Holmes, are you aware of the charges brought against you?”

Health:

If you, dear reader, have read my previous accounts of my friend Mr Sherlock Holmes, you are probably familiar with the fact that his eating habits are somewhat irregular.

Selfless Love:

It was the year ‘97, and Sherlock Holmes had just solved the case of the “Abbey Grange” a tale which I documented some time ago.

Black County:

It was 5am and the cold bit into his cheek like blades, making his eyes water as he took a long drag from his cigarette and stared across his porch, eyes searching the bleak, mist shrouded woods.

The Trials:

It was a fogging morning in early April of 1895 when I happened upon a discovery in the paper which would change the lives of Holmes and I forever.

Betrayal:

It was in early March she told him.

Secret Santa:

“It’ll be fun, Sherlock!”

Find them all on Ao3 under my name or on my blog!

I’ll ask @icandothisalldayy to continue the tag!

In hopes of inspiring younger generations, NASA created this series of gorgeous retro travel posters that encourage you to imagine a future where common space travel is a legitimate possibility. Source

the poet who did the cow poem also did this Nice Guy Poem, its great.

disney: mulan live action movie

me:

disney:

me:

The change from Li Shang is concerning, and not only because it’s erasing a very distinctly bisexual character. Forget sexuality: even if you prefer a more platonic interpretation (which I don’t), Li Shang clearly respects, admires, and likes Mulan as Ping and as a person. He loves her as a friend long before he loves her as a woman, girlfriend, or wife. The entire point of the movie is that Li Shang loves Mulan as a person (platonically, romantically, either way), not just as a potential mate. The entire point of the entire ending is that people do not award women the same respect offered to men. (Mushu: “Huh? You’re a girl now, remember?”) The entire point of the finale is that Shang and Ping’s friends do give Mulan the same respect as a woman, because her gender doesn’t matter: she is still the same person with the same good strategic sense, and they’ll trust her whether she’s wearing armor or a dress.

If this “Chen Honghui” hates Mulan/Ping until he finds out that she is a woman, that isn’t just erasing Shang’s bisexuality: it’s also sexualizing Mulan and stripping her of all her agency and accomplishment. In this version, Mulan isn’t worthy of respect as a person. She is only worth admiring as a woman. He can’t like her as a warrior, as a strategist, as a friend, as a person; he can only like her as a woman. Let me rephrase this: Instead of giving Mulan a chance to earn the same respect Chen offers to all his other warriors, he’s only going to appreciate her once he sees her as a woman. As an “approved” sexual object. ONLY THEN is it worth noticing her or granting her basic human decency and respect. “Something like love,” as the description tells us, clearly has nothing to do with any of her personality and everything to do with genitalia. Even if he was completely and entirely straight, we should see that he’s at least befriending Mulan/Ping before the Gender Reveal. Straight guys can still recognize another man’s good qualities and appreciate them for what they are. If Ping isn’t even a friend before “he” becomes Mulan, then this isn’t “something like love;” it’s just lust and objectification, pure and simple. The “rivalry” is also bullshit. The fact that “rivalry” can change so quickly into “something like love” means only that for Chen, a set of imaginary genitalia is all it takes to completely shift his perspective on someone from “worthy of competition” to “worthy of sex.” What, so he’s just going to abandon the rivalry now that she’s a woman? Oh - because she’s only a woman. He doesn’t have to compete with her anymore, because that’s not what you do with women. A rivalry would imply that she’s still a man, and at least he can view a rival as a decent warrior; but now, she can be comfortably reduced to Sex Appeal.

Also… what about that personality? “Cocky?” A “mean, bullying streak”? Thinks of Mulan as “his chief rival?” Are you going to strip the male lead of EVERY shred of decency? Li Shang isn’t a bully: he is a soldier who pushes his men (and woman) to excel, because this is wartime and that’s the only way to survive. He genuinely cares about them and shows real pride when they show signs of improvement. He doesn’t see them as rivals; he sees them as friends for whom he is responsible. Sure, he doesn’t like Ping at first, but that’s got nothing to do with gender and more to do with the fact that Ping’s initial behavior is so inflammatory. (Dodges commander’s questions; starts fights in the rice line; holds the other soldiers back in training; cheats on assignments, even if that’s the result of Mushu’s intervention). Once Ping proves himself as a person and as a warrior, Shang doesn’t hesitate to reward Ping with all the admiration Ping deserves. 

Disney is so concerned about removing every hint of bisexuality from its movies, it’s also utterly destroyed any decency they could have in a heterosexual romance. In their attempts to make everything nice and straight and cisgendered, they’re bending their characters WAY out of whack. 

They’re taking Mulan - originally a woman who denies gender boundaries to prove that gender doesn’t matter to personal worth - and they’re turning her into a person who can’t earn respect,honor, or even the admiration of her fellow soldiers until she puts on a dress and can be seen, not as a warrior or as a person but as an object of desire. 

And they’re taking Shang - originally a man who cares about his fellow soldiers and who respects Mulan regardless of her gender presentation - and turned him into a cocky asshole who only cares about himself and is only able to appreciate Mulan when she is female, and even then, only because he’d like to have some sex.

What the fuck Disney. What. The. Fuck

Reblogging this here as well because this pisses me off.

All of this, but also, let’s stop teaching young girls that it’s ok to be with boys who are assholes to you?

I’m on board for this outrage and the reasons behind it.

I am mad.

My kink is cooking in front of my friends who know which knife is made for what and forcing them to watch me use the wrong one for the wrong thing

Use a cheese grater for tomatoes.

You’ll burn in hell for this.

*panting outrageously: I GOT HERE AS FAST AS I COULD

Oh my god, my friend who used to rent a room from me would routinely use a small ass paring knife to chop entire very large onions instead of a chef’s or santoku despite the fact that my kitchen is well stocked with many varieties of knives. In fact, he’d use the same tiny paring knife to cut everything when he would cook; be it veggies, or meat, or whatever. He didn’t want to dirty too many knives…? It drove me fucking nuts because he almost cut himself quite a few times trying to chop things that were too large for such a small blade. Nothing I said would change his mind. Graaahhhhh….

see the thing is i do the opposite. Do I own a gorgeous little set with a Santoku, utility, and paring knife? yep.

caN I PEEL POTATOES AND POTENTIALLY OPERATE WITH A CHINESE CLEAVER???

you’re gonna see me try

This falls under what I call the Hand Grenade vs Bowl of Soup philosophy (which incidentally is how I describe my personality as well)

You see, a bowl of chicken soup is just usually great. Super great if you need comfort or dont feel good.

A hand grenade is kinda specialized. It’s not warm or comforting at all.

But I would rather have a hand grenade when soup would have been nice, than a bowl of soup when you need a fucking grenade.