god + angels can't see into the bathroom but they do know when you bring your phone in there
you are suggesting that god is less powerful than apple
curing my social anxiety & mild agoraphobia by buying a gun
i’m a transgender marxist and in the first week of january this year there was a shooting at my place of work right as i got off, directly in the path i usually take to leave. fifteen feet away from where i work every day. were it not for the coincidence of checking my phone and saying hi to a coworker, i would have been right next to it when it happened. i watched the paramedics operating on one of the victims, thinking i was watching someone die (luckily they survived). i do not own a gun because i have “republican energy,” i own a gun because i love myself, i love my life, and i love my friends. you can judge me and make snide comments online because you’re safe and comfortable, but you should know that doing so reveals yourself as a coward. i hope you never feel the need to own a gun, i hope you never have to calm yourself down enough that your hands aren’t shaking while you text your partner that you heard gunshots but you’re safe for now, i hope you never start to text the same to your mom before realizing you’d rather her find out if you’re alive or dead tomorrow than burden her with the uncertain play by play, i hope you never have to wait with your 17 year old coworker in the parking lot for her dad to come pick her up, i hope you never have to fake levity and pretend you’re Doing Just Great on the phone to her mother because you want her to know her daughters safe, i hope you never come home to your cat and bury your face in his fur and sob on the kitchen floor alone in a dark house. you arrogant stupid bastard, i hope you stay safe and comfortable forever.
And I Vote!
butch realness
So we've been having a bit of a debate in the office because we wanted to do the headline "Local man gives up sugar for 12 minutes" but then overdoing the "local man" trope is a bit male-centric, so we considered "Local woman" but then that sounds like we're typecasting women so that wasn't great either, but I think we've finally found a worthy compromise:
I have never felt so validated in never having given up on Tumblr.
IT GETS WORSE!
"This is hilarious. It appears that Twitter is DDOSing itself. The Twitter home feed's been down for most of this morning. Even though nothing loads, the Twitter website never stops trying and trying. In the first video, notice the error message that I'm being rate limited. Then notice the jiggling scrollbar on the right. The second video shows why it's jiggling. Twitter is firing off about 10 requests a second to itself to try and fetch content that never arrives because Elon's latest genius innovation is to block people from being able to read Twitter without logging in. This likely created some hellish conditions that the engineers never envisioned and so we get this comedy of errors resulting in the most epic of self-owns, the self-DDOS. Unbelievable. It's amateur hour."
So he artificially limited the number of tweets you can see per day with a "free" account.
Once you hit your limit, it stops you from loading the page. But it also doesn't know WHY it isn't loading, so it keeps TRYING.
Twitter is literally hitting itself in the face ten times per second per user.
This is so completely amateurish it's unbelievable. It's like putting your car in neutral and slamming your foot on the gas until your engine redlines and then wondering why it's making a horrible noise and a terrible smell but not going anywhere.
If you follow Selmers to the poetry society meeting in Night In The Woods, this is her poem. I loved it and the themes of the game, and wanted to use it as practice to see if i can control the way readers ‘hear’ the words through images.
reminder that trans men also fought for your rights and refusal to acknowledge this is tantamount to denying historical fact
Some sources for those who may not know:
there was a ref on pinterest that reminded me of them so here lol
obsessed with my partners cishet friend because he is literally only friends with transmascs. don't call yourself a cis ally unless 90% of your circle is trans
fellas you are never going to believe what happened to her
this fucking girl on bumble sent me like three shy anime girl images and said like “uhmm… hi you seem really cool 😖😖 i’m so nervous” and it fr pissed me off so bad i deleted the app
Weibo article that dives into the origin of the trend and provides a perspective from the other side:
一块吐司，几片芝士，加上一些生菜或水果，一股“清心寡欲”风扑面而来。而这简单无味的搭配，正是一些外国人的正常午餐。
"A slice of bread, a piece of cheese, piece of raw vegetable or fruit: you're blasted by a cleansing gust of ascetic wind. This simple and flavorless pairing is actually the everyday lunch of some foreigners."
Image text: "White people food"
中国网友还给这样的饮食方式起了一个名，叫做”白人饭“（white people food）。所谓的白人饭特点就是，“冷的“、”素的”、”分量少的“，基本上就是”花最少的功夫准备，仅仅能维系基本器官正常运作“的食物（require the least amount of effort to substain vital signs）。
"Chinese netizens have given this cuisine a name, '白人饭' (white people food). "The characteristics of so-called white people food are 'cold,' 'vegetarian,' 'small portions,' and truly 'requiring the least amount of effort to sustain vital signs' food."
也就是说，白人饭的食材都是那种能生吃就绝不开锅，调味料单一，不是盐和黑胡椒，就是能够直接添加的蛋黄酱或番茄酱。一开始，白人饭这个梗是由住在国外的中国网友传起来的。起因是因为他们在社交媒体上晒出了自己的白人同事带的午餐——几根生胡萝卜和一些生菠菜。
"In other words, white people's food is the kind that doesn't involve cooking, with just one kind of seasoning, if not salt and pepper, then just the direct addition of mayonnaise or ketchup. "Originally, the concept of white people food started with Chinese netizens living overseas. It was because they used social media to expose their white coworkers' lunches — a few carrots and some raw spinach."
OP's tweet reads: "This is my coworker's lunch. A few carrots and some spinach. They already have the ability to produce their own energy without eating food."
Comment 1: "I think since they like suntanning so much, they must be using photosynthesis"
Comment 2: "They depend on therapists to keep them alive"
不知真相围观的群众可能还会误以为这是刚刚洗好准备切和下锅的食材.... 而习惯了“午饭也要吃热饭热菜”的中国网友们在看到自己的白人同事午饭居然吃这个，都感到不可思议。
"Unknowing spectators may mistakenly think that these are freshly washed vegetables about to be chopped and cooked. While Chinese netizens, accustomed to 'lunch means a hot meal', view their white coworkers' lunches as unimaginable."
OP's tweet reads: "My Danish coworker brought something new again. No spinach today, just two carrots and a pepper. They're evolving."
Comment: "Why do they eat like they're putting gas in their cars. Pour it in to be able to go"
OP's tweet reads: "my coworkers lunch is a whole cauliflower! First time I've seen a whole cauliflower eaten with a knife and fork after being cooked. He was even surprised that I'd never seen that before. These people haven't lived"
OP's tweet reads: "The simplicity of Australian white people food. Everyone knows that Australian white people food is super simple, but when I saw my coworker's lunch I was still shocked. Mushrooms from the supermarket, straight from the box, added directly to a wrap. I asked him whether mushrooms can be eaten raw. He said he'd been eating them raw for years and was doing fine."
Comment: "Pretty normal. They even eat green beans raw. 20 years ago, the people at my bro's place even ate yuanxiao [glutinous rice dough dumplings] uncooked. Anyways, I feel like foreigners don't like eating food unless they're about to starve. If they could live on alcohol, they definitely wouldn't eat at all"
Image text: "Lunch: a head of raw lettuce wrapped around some ham with mustard drizzled on top"
OP's tweet reads: "I guess I've seen the pinnacle of white people food today. The locals always come up with new moves to surprise me"
而反过来，海外的中国网友只是把自己一份普通的午饭带到公司加热，都会引起外国同事的围观和震惊。
"On the other hand, Chinese people living overseas only have to heat up in a normal lunch at the office to invoke the shock and awe of their foreign coworkers."
OP's tweet reads: "Re: about my lunch shocking my white coworkers. Everyone knows that white people don't have taste buds, they only eat to stay alive. "Coworker A: porridges. Oats + honey + milk + salt + microwave for 3 min. "Coworker B: some kind of canned rice + canned tuna, microwave for 2 min. "Coworker C: pita bread with dip; with a couple of cherry tomatoes/cucumber. "Coworker D: mini pizza: base + sauce + cheese, baked "I've been here for most of one year, these guys eat the same thing every day. But today was different, today everyone brought food, a boxed proper meal: pasta. But I'm the undefeated mystical Oriental lady, made a whole table [of food] appear in the blink of an eye."
在国内，午饭要吃饱这个概念早已深入人心，而且习惯每顿都要吃米饭面条等主食。但在欧美国家，他们的午饭一般都会吃得比较简单清淡，而且他们也没有午觉的习惯，所以吃得清淡也有助于集中精力，不容易犯困，而且也比较省时间。所以这样饮食差异也给网友们带来了文化冲击。 更有趣的是，最近“白人饭”这个词已经从一个梗变成了大家纷纷效仿的饮食方式，网友还开始各种钻研白人饭，表示仿佛打开了新世界的大门。
"In China, the concept of a filling lunch is deeply ingrained in people's minds, as well as the habit of having a staple of rice or noodles etc. with every meal. But in Europe and the US, lunches are usually simple and light, and they don't have the custom of taking a siesta, so eating lightly helps maintain focus, prevent drowsiness, and save time. And so, these dietary differences have led to culture shock. "What's more interesting is, recently the phrase 'white people food' has spread to become a style of cuisine that everyone is imitating. Netizens have begun a deep dive into all different kinds of white people food. It's like a door has been opened into a new world."
OP's tweet reads: "After entering a state of 'eating to stay alive', I found out white people food is actually good. Ate the same thing every day and didn't puke. I just play on my phone a bit and the food is ready. It's sustenance, that's all."
Commenter: "After you give up on the pursuit of flavor, the world will open up to you. Cold vegetables + chicken breast are so good."
随着这个梗的火热，“白人饭”在国内出圈的事情，居然还传到外网去了。而国外网友的反应也是够逗的。一位网友在推特上发推表示，
Following this trend going viral, "white people food" got spread to the foreign web. Foreign netizens' reactions were too funny. One user tweets:
而外国网友不但没有感到被冒犯，反而是早已接受了“白人饭”这个设定，甚至有时候连自己都忍不住吐槽。 "Not only were foreigners not offended, they've long since accepted the designation of "white people food", even going so far as to mock it themselves.
而听说中国网友也兴起了吃白人饭之后，白人网友也不吝赐教，开始分享地道的白人饭做法。
"After hearing about Chinese interest in white people food, white people didn't hesitate to offer instruction and started sharing recipes for authentic white people food."
Additional context:
- The reactions are partially because raw veggies are a terrible lunch, but also because vegetables in Chinese cuisine are almost always eaten fully cooked, due to food safety and culinary tradition. Raw vegetables are for livestock and Westerners.
- the Chinese tweets in the article which have location tags are all tagged with non-American countries (Switzerland, England, Germany, Denmark, and multiple from Australia). There's no "it's just the Americans"-ing your way out of this one.
I need to see a bitches arm vein while she chokes me, I need a death grip on my throat
He would not fucking say that
Not in public but trust me I've known him since I was practically a child