Hey all you Bone-Nerds. Enjoyed Gideon & Harrow the Ninth, did you?
Looking for some cool as heck merchandise to rep your favourite Houses? We got you.
Let’s talk enamel pins.
Graciously endorsed by Tamsyn Muir, show your pride in the Nine Houses and celebrate Gideon & Harrow the Ninth with these (so spoopy) enamel pins! Unlocking the Tomb - Gideon & Harrow the Ninth Kickstarter
My mum just pledged to the Kickstarter because she believes in my dreams. Feeling very loved right now 😭 💖 💖 💖 💖 She hasn’t even read these gay-ass necromancer books. But she is so supportive. !!!!!!!
Excuse me, DID YOU ALL JUST FUND THE FIRST GROUP OF PINS WHILE I WAS ASLEEP? 😭 😭 💖 WE’RE GETTING BONE PINS . THIS IS HAPPENING To our noisy and beautiful community who is getting the reach out there to fund this project thank you WE MAKING BONES NOW
Guys, I am fundamentally not here because Alecto won’t write itself (I’ve tried); but I wanted to signal boost the wonderful Mayticks and a Kickstarter dear to my heart. It is already 100% successful and does not need my seal of approval, but when Mayticks asked if I’d sign off on this one I said “Yes” very loudly and then had to type it in case she didn’t hear in Australia. Mayticks has been doing this for years; most of my friends have flaunted her pins; I knew that if I said “No” they’d all kill me. (Also, who would say No, other than a fool.)
Now look at it! Imagine wearing one of these babies on your denims. Remember that dungarees season is year-round. I’m Commander Shepherd, and this is my favourite Kickstarter on the Internet.
the favour of the chain: a harrow the ninth fst
My first readers made me soundtracks for Gideon when it came out. When A.K. Larkwood’s book came out, in thanksgiving, all I did was make her and her wife some beautiful original placemats (”Love Means Never Having To Say You’re Csorwe”) and in return they have spent the last few days texting me pictures of a young dog who is good at sitting. You don’t get those: they are mine. I will give this instead, in my generosity, created by my very first reader: the remarkable pT.
I realise that today everybody is very busy nose-deep in the newest dark book about anxious goths having the mopes (Midnight Sun) but if you enjoy these tunes even a fragment of what I enjoyed them, a fun time is in store for you. There are no spoilers, but there is no point in listening to this unless you have read the newest book about navel-gazing vampires with commitment issues (Harrow the Ninth).
#harrow the ninth#paratactician#this fst makes so much fun of me but i don't even care#the 6.05 marion raven meatloaf original of it's all coming back to me now people#six minutes#five fucking seconds#nevertheless some of the most beautiful and important and appropriate lyrics collected#i've got you. you've got me#between us a bunch of teeth
“But now I shall never get out,” said Floralinda, in tears, “there is no solution to my problem that isn’t a prince, and I’m all out of princes, and I don’t want to jump out of the window and die. This is the worst conundrum I ever heard of.”
(rolls down a dusty hill through open window) Boy! Not much has happened since I last posted on Tumblr (laugh track) but every so often I amble on to tell you, three followers and my boyhood friend Christopher who still hasn’t read any of my God damned books and yet makes fun of me ceaselessly, about all the wild things occurring:
- Gideon the Ninth is now available in paperback. This provides warm nesting material for winter, and also contains a new appendix of material, including an in-universe essay about how thinking the cavalier-necromancer relationship is ‘horny’ is an evil idea that nobody should ever commit to in fiction, which is how you know that in-universe fiction commits to it constantly; it also has a dossier compiled by Cpt. Judith Deuteros about how Coronabeth Tridentarius is NOT a babe. Talk about a challenger for Tolkien’s appendices
- Harrow the Ninth arrives in less than a month. I received my hardback copies of it (author’s privilege) and flipped through it. It landed open at a scene where Harrow gets told the whole plot of a romance novel. I write only the hardest action scenes
- My novella, “Princess Floralinda and the Forty-Flight Tower”, has been announced for November 2020! That’s this year, if we live! It’s a VERY long novella. My first reader, whose name rhymes with “A.K. Farkwood”, described it as “Enid Blyton meets Slay the Spire”. If you were forced at gunpoint as a child to read “Pip the Elf” and wished dreamily that Pip would fall off a cliff already, this is for you! It’s about an awful princess who meets an awful fairy, and their adventures in being forced into the same small space together eating the same damn meal over and over (NOTE: I wrote it BEFORE lockdown).
Subterranean Press specialises in very beautiful hardback editions and the end physical product will be very specific and lovely, but for those of us with limited shelf space it WILL also be out in ebook (that’s just not available to pre-order).
I’ve received lovely messages and questions and one day I’ll get to them. Until Alecto is done, however, forgive me for that day not being today; soon. Thank you so much for all the support.
#princess floralinda and the forty-flight tower#subterranean press#harrow the ninth#gideon the ninth#publications#the cohort dossier is just a collection of judith deuteros' incredible thoughts but i had fun writing them#'i once met palamedes sextus. he made a joke and therefore should be removed from office'
Today is the 14th of April and you can go and read the whole first act of Harrow the Ninth!
I finished Harrow long before Gideon ever went to publication and it is extremely weird having it now be in the pipeline to be read. I’ll have also finished Alecto before Harrow is out, which will be weird in the same way. Alecto is a very different book to Harrow and Harrow is a very different book to Gideon. Gideon was about two girls crammed into a bloodstained get-along shirt; Harrow is about, as stolen from A.K. Larkwood, two girls who are not enjoying this Duke of Ed residential very much; Alecto will be about girls being annoyed that it is legal for their exes to talk to each other. The tomb is open. The get-along shirt is empty.
Naturally I had a hell of a lot of fun writing Harrow and it is very personal to me. It is about a girl staggering over the finish line with all her limbs ground down to stumps only to discover that that was the start of the marathon. It is about another girl who owns thirty thousand stupid outfits, and wears them. It is the hideousness of being a grown-up and discovering the protagonist of your sequel is some emo kid with Disney hair who hangs around Goofy and Donald. It is about meals.
Really it is a book that, at its heart, is the bit in the Homestar Runner music video for TMBG’s Experimental Film where Strong Sad falls hard out of the sky and the spectator stand announces that it is a lion.
I hope you enjoy. Take care out there.
I presume you’re not allowed to read Gideon fic for legal reasons, but I have to commend you for being in the top ten Yuletide fandoms this year anyway.
I am slapping this message up the queue because: it what, thank you so much for telling me. Christmas on the beach!!! I don’t deserve this, having once written the worst Yuletide story of all time, but I’ll take it to the bank
I can’t read any Gideon fanfic and I’ve never hurt over anything so bad in all my life. I don’t go looking at anything, even fanart, because I want my soul to be a pure chalice until I finish Alecto the Ninth, a story that’s oceans dumber than any you guys are writing.
As a note in case it wasn’t obvious, I’m so grateful that there’s any fanfiction out there. I’m so delighted. Go with my blessing. I only get hints of fandom when my friends email me shitposts (which are all perfection) or it’s my pals perpetrating it by making Gideon in their dollmaker and then refusing to show me because she ‘looked like Neo from the Matrix’, or whoever the very beautiful lovely person was at London ComicCon who got me to sign an extremely boss piece of art I still want to find online, or the funny fan in the badass cosplay who despite my charmless bewilderment who told me hi from the Discord (I’m just terrible in person and everyone is always so gentle, crackly bone hugs for the Discord).
The last fannish joy I had was when K.M. Szpara (NOTE TO ANYONE READING THIS: BUY & READ DOCILE THEN WRITE A BUNCH OF FIC I CAN ACTUALLY READ) revealed that he thought the only viable m/m ship was Palamedes/Naberius. My editor was nodding thoughtfully. A beautiful moment.
#replies#ryuutchi#naberius tern is a fixer-upper#a fixer-upper palamedes did not have the time to fix#also can all the fanfic be elisha enjoying a perfectly nice time and nothing bad happens#'love this coffee' thought elisha sipping it. nobody touched him in a way he did not like#'im sorry' said the barista 'that coffee cost your bodily integrity'#fuck!! shit!!! i goofed it
Hi! You’ve mentioned several times in interviews that you have a fanfic-writing background. Are you happy to tell your fans where we can find you on AO3, or do you prefer to keep your Real Life Writing and fandom pseud separate, never the twain shall meet?
Not at all, I’ve admitted this to crowds of nonplussed people! I’m pretty open about the fact that I wrote in Homestuck fandom as urbanAnchorite, and I am not ashamed of anything I did there except for the time I tried to convince Monster of Elendhaven author Jennifer Giesbrecht to do a story with me where Jade was having Nepeta and Equius’ baby.
I have written elsewhere on the Internet and my very old stuff is still out there on fanfiction.net, but it was all just me doing unbelievably earnest Final Fantasy epics. I’m not precisely ashamed, but my brother still calls me up and quotes choice lines from it to me.
I’m a fandom knucklehead from old times and I am very glad we currently live in the age where you can be open about it. I remember in the early 2000s it was absolutely fucking verboten to mention you’d ever written any of it in case you got sued within an inch of your life, or if people didn’t take you seriously as an artist. I realised the other day that I’d actually read and adored some of N.K. Jemisin’s fanfiction when I was younger, and I welled up with all manner of emotions.
questions of lyctorhood
Thank you everyone who’s left interesting, lovely notes in my inbox, and I really hope I can respond to them all; I am currently only allowed short bursts of goofing off in a day and I am ashamed to say that I mainly spend them losing my life to the sea ice challenge in Rimworld. Here’s a wonderful question from @sensenoi about the book that I will put under a read-more due to spoilers --
I'm in the 8th house what does this mean. My next highest was house 2. Am I a good boy?
No. You’re a bottle of Janola Power Clean.
GET READY FOR...
SEABOUND! A LOCKED TOMB UNIVERSE SURVIVAL ADVENTURE AND HOUSE IDENTIFICATION TOOL
You and a couple of your friends, if you have any, are on a boat in the ocean. Why are you here? Is this even relevant in the universe? Who cares. This ocean’s purpose is to help you pick… your true House identity.
Luckily, on this magical survival journey you have the opportunity to pick items to help you. You may salvage five items of the fifteen I am about to list under the cut. These items will be the key to who you are, secretly, on the inside. You’re probably going to die, but at least you will know who you are, which has to be some kind of comfort, right
These items will score you points with one or more Houses. Once you have made your selection, read the guide, tally your points, and discover… Yourself!!!!
#the absolutely unofficial nine houses test#gideon the ninth#ripped furiously from all those 'lost at sea' exercises i used to make kids do at the end of term#so close to being fun and yet so far#hope to see a wide variety of everyone's ocs being made on dollmakers#what house am i? that's a mystery...................#i am........ an animorph
Please help, I just keep thinking about Gideon the Ninth by @tazmuir and sighing dreamily
worked out how to delete broken links on the writing tool today, so despite deserving no quarter, reblogging this for my own delight
#i swear to god that i am not all chinhanding looking at sketches and shit going 'hiya. hey. hello'#ever since this book came out it has just been multiple deadlines per day and me being too frightened to go on the Internet#editor emails me when nice things happen and it takes one HOT cup of tea to even LOOK at 'em#but: thank you so much. my heart is full#full of how gideon couldn't bother to work that paint into her temples#very emotional. get me a fainting couch#this is very beautiful and funny. help#gideon the ninth#fanart
zoom. enhance
would you believe that the bone tids are only my third favourite thing that Arnold angelically bestowed upon me.
check out her fucking BONE EARRINGS
Dear all,
Here we are back again. Those long nineteen days ago when Gideon the Ninth was unleashed onto the world, I could hardly contemplate linking you again to anything. But the truth is that Gideon the Ninth is one book of three, and the second book will be here sooner than you think (JUNE 2, 2020).
That’s a long time away?? Naw. I myself will provide you with bullshit nonsense content until time speeds past like a bus out of control, and by that point June 2 will feel like a sweet reprieve because maybe I’ll stop talking about it. Psyche!! At that point I’ll simply start talking about Alecto the Ninth, a title my publishers misread because it’s actually my romance novel “Alec to Theninth”, a spiritual sequel to “From Justin to Kelly” about a guy who has a speech difficulty and meets plural clones of a Russian revolutionary politician and (Tighten this one up - Ed.)
Taking a twist for the contemporary, HARROW THE NINTH is the story of one girl’s sexual awakening at Bible camp, surrounded by wasps, unwanted nudes, and elderly swingers. It is also a story about how absolutely nothing happened the way you thought it did. Here are some of the traditional contemporary tropes I went with:
* PROTAG GETS A LIFE-CHANGING MAKEOVER
* PROTAG TROUBLED BY FLAWLESS MARKS IN HIGH SCHOOL NOT TRANSLATING OVER INTO UNIVERSITY
* DINNER PARTY RUINED BY FAUX PAS
* DESPITE MULTIPLE GIRLS BEING INTERESTED PROTAG PINES OVER THE ONE GIRL WHO ISN’T, WHICH IS JUST COMPLETELY FUCKING TYPICAL
* HORRIBLE LEMONGRAB WOMAN STEEPLES FINGERS, A LOT
* DROVE MY CHEVY TO THE LEVEE BUT THE LEVEE WAS GHOSTS
* SO LIKE, WHAT IF THE PAST, LIKE... WASN’T ACTUALLY... THE PAST, YOU KNOW WHAT I’M SAYING? (TAKES HUGE NECROBONG HIT)
I have also put in some new characters, but not TOO many! You may want to get familiar with them now. Tag yourself!
* GOD
* THREE ASSHOLES
* IANTHE
June is just a tomorrow away.
romancing the bone: a gideon the ninth fst
For my birthday in 2018, my two first readers just sent me an email with the subject heading, “We have very good taste.”
This FST is quite possibly the most serious, transformative and thoughtful transformative work ever presented to any canon, ever.
#thaumaturgic revelations is my favourite song#from my favourite band: the reverent brotherhood of the abyssal shroud#have i mentioned this was also created by the author of the unspoken name#which you should buy and read#it was also created by her wife who lives in a pineapple under the sea and there lies dead and dreaming#honestly i can't think of a better reason to buy the unspoken name than just mutely pointing at this#gideon the ninth#one gets by with a little help from one's friends
This picture has sat on my fridge for like two years, held up by magnets of the greatest characters in the world to guard them (Jade and Sterling from Chris Dane Owen’s SHINE ON ME video), so forgive its fold marks and low quality, which do not at all do justice to the art.
From top to bottom, although it is fairly obvious if you’ve read the book: Camilla, Palamedes, Dulcinea, Harrow, Gideon.
This was my first piece of fan art. It kept me going on bad days. Camilla’s side-eye in particular encouraged me to eat a lot of yoghurt. If you go and pre-order a copy of THE UNSPOKEN NAME, written by its artist, I’ll draw an erotic stick figure of her main characters writhing in a pile of snakes. I can’t draw snakes or even frankly stick figures, so it’ll be a wild ride
Sometimes you leave a line in your manuscript as a placeholder because you can’t think of another line to fill it yet.
Sometimes your first readers, who saw this line, get a man in an embroidery shop to embroider you an apron with “NOT SUCH A DANK MEME NOW, NABERIUS” in beautiful curly font.
go loud: a gideon the ninth fst
As threatened, before I let myself go nuts wallowing in cosplay and art, I muft acknowledge the gifts I was given when Gideon the Ninth did not even have a publication date. My three first readers gave me an FST, and the first FST I got was from paraTactician, to whom sharp-eyed readers following along from fandom may have noticed the book was dedicated to.
Obviously getting FSTs is the main reason why anyone actually writes a novel, let’s be honest with each other
#gideon the ninth#paraTactician#both fsts are dedicated to making fun of me#in two totally different ways#both fsts are also incredible#so what can you do#i listened to this a lot as i was editing the first book#and i listened to it while i was writing the second#and i will inevitably listen to it while i write the third#the athlete's village is on zargon. you all get a junior suite