bonk!

@meesherbeans​

OP - https://www.reddit.com/r/TikTokCringe/comments/lckrxa/the_cats_meow/

I have not seen seven of my cats snap to attention that quickly without using a can opener.

I’m like actually losing my fucking shit at this holy fucking

If anyone's wondering the context, the guy is a professional lock picker and was trying to get his wife interested in lock picking too LMAO

Credit the man at least, good lord. Man makes some of the most engaging vids I see on a day to day basis. The channel name is The Lock Picking Lawyer (yes he is an actual lawyer).

Ponies of 2020

the pony is out for blood

I can't

Stop laughing

It's a beautiful day and you are a horrible horse

Every day horses wake up and choose violence

this horse is clearly friends with the fish-punching octopus

can not believe that a 70 year old senator actually uttered the phrase “ignorant slut” about bernie sanders on the senate floor.

So what actually happened was senator Kennedy said to Neera Tandem, “you basically called Bernie Sanders everything but an ignorant slut”

Which apparently is a reference to a SNL sketch from 1970s, which is odd but also not completely batshit crazy

But what is crazy is that senator Lindsey Graham in the background, who was not actively part of the conversation, then interrupting to respond with “well I wouldn’t say ignorant”

So whilst technically no senator referred to Bernie Sanders as an “ignorant slut”, senator Lindsey Graham did state quite firmly that he is in fact a slut, just a very knowledgable one

killing rom the vacuous spider and realizing that you still gotta fight more elder gods in order to end the nightmare

Had to be there i guess

DAAaHRLINg,

I’m on the

HIGGHwAAAAy

was driving with my girlfriend and spotted a vulture with a broken wing standing on the side of the road. there was an animal hospital nearby with a wildlife unit so we pulled over and picked it up and drove it to tufts. i think its got a good chance at survival and it feels good to have been able to make the call and help an injured wild animal out

the funniest part of this was showing up at the Tufts emergency room with all these average folks with their dogs sitting politely on leashes in the waiting room and us being two very sweaty, disheveled haggy dykes who are bursting in and nearly running up to the desk holding a vulture in nothing but our bare hands and the look of extreme shock and horror on everybody’s face

Gay culture is bursting into an animal clinic looking to get medical treatment for a carrion bird

We bought our new sweet kitten a harness for walks. We had her try it on to get her comfortable with it and I’m not sure she loved it. 

(Source)

#kitten dot exe has stopped working

#please remove third party hardware and reboot kitten

posting on a blackboard discussion board and replying to two of your fellow students has to be one of the nine circles of hell

Great point, Dylan! I especially agree with it being “one of the nine circles of hell”. Well said.

I think it’s important to bear in mind that “complex” doesn’t necessarily mean “nuanced”. A thing can be complicated and also stupid as hell.

Seeing this exchange on Reddit was so sad. Men and boys need love and affection as much as women and girls.

Fuck, this reminds me of this good post I saw on I believe Twitter. Can’t find it and even so I’d rather not repost it if it can be helped but it was basically some dude crawling into bed w/ his girlfriend/wife and he was clearly upset and she offers him sex to make him feel better but he declines so instead she cuddles him and he starts crying and says thank you. Super cute and sweet.

Is it this?

Yeah! That’s the one. Thanks.

That post reminds me of this one I saw on Reddit:

Kill the idea that men don’t want physical affection 2KForever.

Icelandic folklore requires you avoid saying the names of evil whales, otherwise you’ll draw their attention.

Yall have evil whales?

Iceland does! They are the illhveli, literally “evil whales”, and they live to kill you. They love nothing more than killing and eating humans and sinking their ships. Their greatest enemy is the steypireydur (that’s blue whale to you), which is the greatest of the good whales and the protector of sailors.

All evil whales are, well, evil. So evil that if you speak their name at sea, they will hear it and home in on you. So instead you use all sorts of euphemisms for their names. Also if you try to cook their meat it literally disappears from the pot. That’s right, they’re so evil, you can’t even eat them.

They include such types as the hrosshvalur (horsewhale), with big eyes and a red mane and tail. This is probably the best known and most feared of the lot.

The raudkembingur (redcomb) is especially cruel and bloodthirsty even by illhveli standards. If you manage to escape it, it will die of frustration.

Good luck escaping the mushveli (mousewhale) though, it has legs! And will clamber onto the beach in pursuit!

Or what about death from above? The stökkull (jumper) leaps high into the air and pile-drives boats to pieces.

Meanwhile the skeljungur (shellwhale) sits in the path of boats and lets them get wrecked on its shelly hide…

… while the sverdhvalur (swordwhale) slices through boats with its dorsal fin.

The katthveli (catwhale) is relatively harmless though. It meows.

The same can’t be said of the lyngbakur (heatherback), a classic island fish that lets sailors get on its back and then dives, taking them to a watery grave.

The nauthveli (oxwhale) on the other hand specially targets cattle, attracting them into the sea with its bellow before tearing them apart.

How can you avoid all these murderous whales, like the taumafiskur (bridlefish) here? Any of a number of ways, including getting a steypireydur to help. There are substances, ranging from angelica to sheep dung and chopped fox testicles, that they find abhorrent. And you can distract them with loud noises and barrels.

For more, I assure you this link will answer all your questions.

https://abookofcreatures.com/category/illhveli/

stopppp everyone absolutely needs to see this

i feel like ive told this story before but i remember my old middle school/high school account had a password you needed to make, during middle school, in order to access your transcripts. later on in high school when i needed to access that shit for college applications i couldn’t remember the password, because again they made us create it in fucking middle school. i clicked “forgot my password” and the password hint came up as “Open the door, get on the floor” so i typed “stillnogamesfortheps4” and it fucking worked. can you imagine my euphoria? it was like a high five across space and time