“if you take medication for that, you’ll be taking medication all your life!!” yeah, and?? bud, i already put on my glasses every morning. it’s like. a condition of mine, not a side hobby i’m pursuing irresponsibly. 

and the thrilling sequel: “taking meds for that is the easy way out!” right you are my dude, i’m a huge fan of not making things harder than they have to be

tools in my toolshed have started expressing rudimentary emotions

hoes mad

Bro please, our themes are being combined in a completely new way that the audience has never heard before and its making me worried

good morning tumblies :)c

sorry

how are your shoelaces today!!!! 🤣

sorry

dont apologize for being yourself

arent you the guy who does iggy friday

yeah sorry

What is iggy friday

I'll tell you in a couple days

Thanks for being patient for my explanation of

IGGY FRIDAY, BABY!!!!!!

aye can i get uh………ingredients on my burger

beetroot?

you want beetroot?

you want fucking beet root?

ingredience

It was funnier in my head shshsb

@blizz4rd1203

what is up with him.

owl city girlblogging time

Somewhere in the notes to this post I have a long rant about grapefruit spoons. The short version is:

YOU FOOL

Just eat the fucking grapefruit. Stop being a coward. Take the peel off, split it into sections, and eat it like any other delicious citrus.

Instructions unclear. I eat oranges by thickly slicing them as an onion

But citrus fruits come pre-sliced! You take the peel off and then the segments are already there....

there are three types of pigeon breeds: "just your average french fry thief," "a little weird but nothing to write home about," and "what the fuck"

normal dude. just loitering around the city. kinda funky, interesting colorway, but feral pigeons have plenty of variety. not really of any particular note, all things considered

u know, that one’s a bit of an oddity right there. in the realm of weird, yeah, but i can still connect point A to point Z

what the fuck. no, seriously, what the fuck is this. how did you get to this morphology via selective breeding. what led you to choose to continue this at each and every step. what.

bonus: why they ourple

we justifiably give Biden a lot of shit but I think "at least 3" is the funniest possible response to some right wing dipshit asking you how many genders there are

wait it gets better

boys love to lean against the wall and mutter ‘fruits… veggies’ and girls love to stand confidently in the center of the square and shot ‘egg power!’. this is everything i have learned about gender so far

Top ten moments on this site

from grammatical context I feel it is more likely anon was implying that environmental racism is when plants are bigoted, which if anything is funnier

you walk into your local gardening center and a potted monstera calls you a slur

wheat is definitely bigoted against people with celiac, but I would not call that racism, no

the idea that the wheat is doing that on purpose

Peanuts are acting out of ignorance, but wheat knows what it’s doing.

this is a good post everyone should queue it 100 times

oh no

hey do u mind holding this 💣

yea sure for how long 🫴

oh just 5 :)

4

reblog this with a note or tag and i’ll rate your user name with no filter or censorship

get ur ass roasted (or complemented) if u dare

flurty but aroace? the best (and the worst) kind of people

8.5/10 (11/10 -2.5 for being a tease)

wait I thought this whole thread had been cancelled. We still doing ratings?

people said that it was fun and i’m just gonna be more selective so it’s not the entirety of people’s dash

7/10 you fucking harem trash weeb

yea can't really say that one wasn't warranted

oh hey, i know you. you’re from that one performance art film. with the two girls?

it really puts things into context now that i know you’re sentient

7/10

sometimes it’s annoying when your character can’t jump in a video game but how often do you jump in real life?

“Do you even remember the last time you jumped?” is a question I never anticipated leaving me feeling so hollow and terrified.

since the old version of this post was flagged for ‘adult content’…

reblog this post if your account is a trans safe space or owned by a trans person!

along with that, reblog if your account is a non-binary spectrum safe space or owned by someone on the enby spectrum!

@presidentofthehotgirlclub not a kitty video, but i think you'll like this if you haven't seen it already