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wanderlust

@tasteme-daddy-blog

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trashyacid

There’s no more classic love stories, there’s no more tradition. Fate binds us with those we need the most, in the weirdest of ways; in the strangest of places. Those we never thought we needed, those we never even knew existed - suddenly become the most important people in our lives and we forgot what it is to live without them. We hide them, because we don’t want our little bit of paradise to be shared with anyone else. Is it selfish to not tell anyone about your hidden affair? is it wrong not to mention the fact you’re falling in love to those you deem as your closest friends? We go through life afraid of the judgment of our peers, worried that they’ll change our minds and we’ll suddenly feel like we’re being blinded by a love only we can see. As humans, we fall in love with pretty things, with people who show us the little bit of affection. We all have our first loves, the one where anything feels possible. Where we feel as if we can conquer life itself with that person by your side. The hard truth about first love is that it doesn’t always work out but that’s okay. We learn, we love, we get hurt but we always forgive and forget. Your first love won’t matter in a few years - maybe even months. You’ll forget the colour of their eyes and the way they made you feel. You’ll forget the days where you needed them and they weren’t there. You’ll forgot the fights and the hurt you felt when you lost them and all the time you spent holding onto someone who didn’t care about you. The longer you hold on, the longer it’ll take for you to meet The Next.

The Next: Whether that person be the one you fall in love with forever, or one to just teach you a lesson like your first did, The Next is the one to remind you that love is possible, despite what you once felt.

I don’t know what he will be, but I thank the Gods above with blessing me with just a beautiful soul. Second love feels like a friendship on fire. One burning with desire and love. It’s full of adventure and excitement because it’s all new. You forgot what it felt like. What being loved felt like. What /falling/ in love felt like. It’s a beautiful fucking feeling, and I regret the days I held on so tight to the past. If I could of felt this, that long ago, I would of dropped the weight months ago. I feel alive when I’m him, I feel loved. I feel like I’m finally being appreciated. Something I’ve longed for.

So to the first, I thank you for the learning curves you gave me. I’m finally as happy as she makes you.

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we-all-have-deuces
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trashyacid

Perfect couple 1&2

One of these days I’ll stop thinking about you. One of these days, my heart will stop hurting at the thought of you holding her hand and making her smile. One of these days, this will all stop feeling like such a mistake and I’ll learn to accept we never worked out and it was for the best. One of these days.

Because I would be a fool if I didn’t admit, that’s this new boy makes me happy. He takes me away for a bit, but when we’re lying in bed, and he’s drawing constellations on my skin, I can’t help remember how your fingers did the same. No matter how hard I try to rub you off my skin, your touches still linger and I wonder if he can see it.

I want you to be happy because you deserved the world. When we met and when I fell in love, you were just a boy trying to figure the world out, and I got caught up in the midst of it and got burned alive with your flame. I wish I knew the man you are today, back then. Maybe we would of stood a chance. You’re softer now, the harsh edges of your anger have faded, but maybe that’s because of her. everything happens for a reason, I get that now. I was just a learning curve so you could fall in love again, with her, and know how to treat her like she deserves. We were just kids when we met, kids who craved loved and affection, and needed each other more than we liked to admit. I fell in love under terrible circumstances, that left us both hurt and drained by the end of it. It’s a scary thought, you and I. It’ll always be in my mind, a haunting thought of the man I could of made something with. A product of us both, but thinking now, they would of had their daddy’s anger and their mummy’s insanity and I wouldn’t wish that on any living thing.

Imagine a love without a struggle, because that’s what both our second loves will be about. We were just a love that was never meant to be, so I hope all our pain and suffering has taught you enough for her. I hope she can give you everything I couldn’t. It hurts that you’ll be giving her everything I wish you were able to give me. She won’t ever see the day, where the fire in your heart takes over, and spreads through your body like wildfire. She won’t ever see how your hands shake when you’re angry and how your words turn into venom. She won’t ever see the day, were the softness of your eyes turns cold, and you turn into a mass of pure hatred. She won’t ever know how cruel you can get, how you can say anything and not feel a damn thing. She won’t ever have to hear the words, “I don’t think I ever loved you,” and “I don’t know if I was ever in love with you,” spill from your lips without any type of regret. She won’t ever need to hear the bittersweet lies fumble from your mouth, with a charming grin. She won’t ever know how you could lie to those you love the most, and not even stutter. She won’t ever know how heartbreak can destroy you, how it comes in panic attacks and sudden snaps of anger. She won’t ever need to wonder where you are or who you with, because you’re gonna give her everything you didn’t give me.

Second loves are a love without a struggle, where you place everything you learned in your first relationship into place. I am only happy I was there for you, through all the mistakes and life lessons you made. I can only hope this heartbreak doesn’t last forever, because one day I want to feel half as happy as she makes you.