what if i stopped being sweet and cute. what if i went completely unhinged and evil. what then
bc I have
“that’s ok i understand!!!!” but it actually made me sick to my stomach
(:
I used to think I was introverted because I really liked being alone
but it turns out that I just like my peace,
and I am very extroverted around people who bring me peace.
Why can’t anything go my way? Everything is fucked and every time something bad happens I contemplate suicide. Why?
my toxic trait is that i don’t know how to ask for help I disappear & come back when I’m feeling better
The self hate will not stop no matter what. I really want it to. I feel 14 again. All I keep hearing in my head is how disgusting and fat and ugly and annoying and lame and how much of a loser I am. I am revolted by myself and the fact that I’m me is so horrifying
starting to realize i don’t have a lot of friends. i just know a lot of people
Pretending to be okay while suffering in silence isn't easy at all.
I want to die so fucking bad and I'm so full of anger and sadness I need it all to stop right fucking now. I can't do this and the fact that nothing really /happened/ to have me feeling this way so strongly at this moment makes it even worse.
my mind is blank, disconnected, numb, but my chest hurts so bad, i want to tear it open and crush that disgusting unworthy heart.
I really don’t know how much fucking longer I can do this. It won’t go away. I can’t eat, i can’t sleep, i can’t think straight. The days are blending together, I’m missing chunks of time. I don’t even feel like me anymore. I look in the mirror and don’t recognize who I see, yet I still hate them. The intrusive thoughts are just making me feel like I need to be locked up and put away, that I’m disgusting and aggressive and need to off myself for everybody’s wellbeing. I don’t know what to do. Nobody knows how to help. I’m hanging on by a thin fuckin string.
Mental illness is the most isolating thing in the world. You’re completely on your own in a black sea of nothing but pain.
