spike + textposts

Heyyyyyy I’d really like to talk more about the ball, who’s with me.

Because for all its glitter, the ball is dark. No, seriously, it’s dark. It’s eerie, it’s disturbing, and the narrative doesn’t shy away from showing us just how much. 

As in a classic fairytale, mortals are being spirited away into another realm to dance through the night. Here, however, we see exactly who is orchestrating the dance, and why.

And we empathize with him, but watching Aziraphale has never been so painful or so unsettling.

Nina arrives distraught and is immediately hit with the realization that she doesn’t feel distraught, even though she knows she should be feeling it. She confronts Aziraphale and he just tells her: oh yes! :) no long faces tonight! And she is disturbed throughout the ball, thinks she is losing her mind, questions and fights the enchantment… but from time to time, the enchantment still takes hold.

And just—

Aziraphale. Aziraphale, you do know that manipulating people is wrong, don’t you? You… do know that? And yes, of course, neither Crowley’s nor Aziraphale’s approach to morality is human. They are eldritch, they are otherworldly. It was Crowley who changed the paintball guns into real guns in S1, though of course, the humans still had choice in using them.

But the ball is still different.

We’ve never seen Aziraphale do anything quite so disturbing before, or go so obviously deep into his own delusion. There are moments during these scenes when even Crowley, permanently frustrated, is very nearly disturbed. (“Angel! What are you doing?” or “Making it rain is one thing, but a BALL?”)

I fully think that by that point in the story, Aziraphale is not all right. He is in an anxiety spiral, denying reality fiercely, obstinately, disastrously, not listening to any of Crowley’s hissed warnings. Yes, yes, he is giddy, he is in love. It’s so very important for him that everything go RIGHT this night, the night he gets to dance with Crowley. Is he even aware of everything he is conjuring up, of the enchantment he has woven? The humans who step through the doors of the bookshop change: their clothing, their mood, their speech patterns… By this point, is Aziraphale doing this consciously at all? Or is reality conforming to his expectations, forcing everyone into a replica of the nineteenth century while Aziraphale himself, distracted and smitten, works himself up to inviting Crowley to dance?

In the first few episodes, as fear and danger grow, as Aziraphale is faced with the danger specifically to Crowley (I don’t see why he would risk his existence for you, Shax tells him in the car), Aziraphale only denies reality all the more fiercely, only holds on to his plans tighter, only puts more force into them and exerts more control (really, rather like the archangels with their Great Plan).

And the ball, beautiful and otherworldly and eerie as it is, is also a dire warning. 

In the morning, it will be Crowley, not Aziraphale, who will get told off for manipulating Nina and Maggie. Aziraphale won’t reflect on this. He won’t be forced to reflect, and Metatron will manipulate him in turn.

There is a plan to follow. The show must go on.

GOD the ball is so dark.

i just think. andrew's possessive and mean and does horrible damage to people he ought to consider friends and he's physically violent to the point of literal GBH charges and he carries knives and you dont know his boundaries you just know if you cross them even accidentally he WILL gut you and. he's the most selfless person on the team and he willingly resigns himself to a hellish existence if it means his brother stays out of it his brother who he doesnt even know and hasnt met a single time in his life doesnt even know he EXISTED until suddenly he does and he puts his brother's livelihood over his simply because there's a chance he might drag him down and he isn't going to risk it and he kills his brother's abuser without question knowing full well he'll be hated for it and he doesn't mind it because in his head it was the only possible response he could have given and he gets his brother off drugs and again with his teammate who he owes nothing to and he doesn't know how to love and he's clumsy and far too sharp with it but. if he decides someone is his it's common knowledge to leave them the fuck alone because he just grabs onto the few people he can tolerate and he doesnt let go doesnt know how to let go holds on so tight he leaves claw marks his devotion is a violent, bloody thing with teeth and he doesnt know how to be gentle and he doesnt want to be gentle and. he likes sweet things and he tears his food up like a child and he's vicious in his teasing and he loves his eccentric therapist and he buys her little ornaments and he argues on apocalypse survival strategies with the teammate deemed too nice for him and. he has an eidetic memory and is wickedly observant to the point he predicts certain teammates better than even their closest friends can and he exists in the narrative as this indomitable boy of iron who is strong enough to carry neil's trauma and stand firm against it and he is he is he is but once he was seven. he was seven and he believed him. he said please enough to hate the word. no one was strong for him. no one saved him. they call him monster even now

dana scully character of all time. she's five foot two. her two day jobs are cutting up dead people and professional ghostbuster. she's got daddy issues. she owns a fluffy little dog. she's held multiple different government officials hostage multiple times. she kissed her boss on the mouth. she accuses said boss of trying to kill her like once a year with literally no foundation. she's catholic but her favorite movie is the exorcist. she shot her best friend. she was abducted by aliens and still refuses to believe in them. she dresses like an underpaid arts teacher. she met god in a parking garage. out of the two times the man she's been blisteringly in love with for years confessed his feelings to her, the first time she got so overwhelmed she started crying and the second time she thought he was high on painkillers. she can't park a car. she once had an existential crisis, got a tattoo, and slept with a serial killer. she wears socks on the beach. she might be immortal

This turned out so good!! I’m proud of it!!!

What makes JKR's shitshow even harder to process is that she didn't just ruin a book series. Harry Potter was an entire subculture. Like Star Wars and Star Trek fans, Harry Potter fans dedicated their lives and careers to the series. I don't know if I'd call it "underground," but liking Harry Potter got you beaten up when I was in school, so it was more of a dedicated indie culture than a mass-appeal fanbase.

Harry Potter was so huge that fan works developed their own followings. Potter Puppet Pals racked up hundreds of thousands of followers and was nearly as relevant as the series itself. For fanfiction, Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality got so big that it has a Wikipedia page. The band Harry and the Potters spawned the wizard rock music genre. A Very Potter Musical developed a fanbase and launched Darren Criss's career.

Harry Potter also has extensive ties to fandom history. Everyone in my generation (millennials) remembers coming home from school to read Harry Potter fanfiction on the Internet. Today, most people just post their stories on Wattpad or Archive of Our Own. But at the time, the fanbase was splintered between fanfiction.net and dozens of individual websites and forums, some made for specific ships. Since they all had individual hosts, a lot of those sites have been lost to time.

And there's the infamous My Immortal fanfiction, which is an Internet legend with people still searching for the author. Everybody read that one (and laughed at it) in middle school.

Pre-social media, fan sites like The Leaky Cauldron and Mugglenet had massive followings because they were one of few sources for news, theories, essays and fan content. Some of these sites still exist after being around for over a decade and building their own legacy.

Before Deathly Hallows came out, fans were so desperate to know what happened that Mugglenet published a book called What Will Happen in Harry Potter 7: Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Falls in Love and How Will the Adventure Finally End? Yep...Harry Potter was so big that people wrote separate books about what would happen in an upcoming book.

And that's not mentioning all the book release parties, Harry Potter-themed events, monuments, fan films, restaurants and even a theme park. A lot of fandoms have those, but Harry Potter infiltrated every aspect of popular culture.

Today, there's a thriving culture of "Harry Potter adults" with themed weddings, baby showers and Etsy stores. Putting your Hogwarts house in your Instagram bio is pretty much a prerequisite for joining the "bookish" community. Warner still produces new content, like the Fantastic Beasts series, although we've all seen what a disaster that's been.

Everyone has at least a few memories associated with Harry Potter even if it's just watching the movies. I had great memories associated with Harry Potter. But looking back at the subculture, history and thousands of fan works, it doesn't seem fun anymore. Studying the fandom or being part of it comes with an awkward tension because you don't want to seem like you're condoning JKR's bigotry but can't divorce her from the series. This subculture was spawned by a woman who turned her legacy of magic and wonder into one of abuse and hatred.

I don't expect people to write paragraphs about how much they hate JKR every time they post about Harry Potter, but it's still uncomfortable to see people make new content or wear their Harry Potter Etsy tote bags like nothing happened. Even if they clarify that they don't support her, it's just a weird, tense situation for everybody.

People dedicated years of their lives to running Harry Potter fan sites, writing fanfiction, cosplaying characters and making fan movies. If I were in that situation, I'd have a mild identity crisis. I'd ask myself "Did I waste all those years? Should I delete my content? Where do I go from here?"

So ultimately, JKR didn't ruin "just" a book series or even "just" a fandom. She tanked an entire culture, which inspired people to look at Harry Potter more critically. The issues that people brought to the light tainted the series's legacy even without JKR's personal issues.

Once, Harry Potter was a series for generations. Now, former fans hope that the series fades into irrelevancy. Unfortunately, JKR didn't just tarnish her legacy--she took decades of history, millions of fans and a worldwide subculture along with her.

it’s crazy having been super-involved in the HP fandom for more than a decade and watching the fallout from this

quidditch (the real sport) has changed its name to quadball

the harry potter alliance (a nonprofit) has rebranded to fandom forward

the sub-subcultures that sprung up within the HP fandom have now distanced themselves from the main fandom and have become independent groups in their own right

HP was so integral to the development of early online fandom (as OP’s mentioned) that now there’s sort of just a weird... hole in the internet

for many HP fans, it took up a lot of their life. three conventions a year, wizard rock shows, HPA fundraising, granger leadership academy, nightly fanfic, podcasts, quidditch games.

when fans (rightfully) shunned JKR and began to leave the fandom, a lot of them (myself included) were left rudderless. how do you reconcile the fact that most of your friends, hobbies, sometimes even jobs, were due to the work of such a hateful person? as OP said, did i waste my life?

i’m obviously not saying that this is the worst part about JKR’s bigotry (the worst part is, of course, the bigotry) or that HP fans are the worst-done-by victims (who are of course trans people)

but it is WILD to see such a juggernaut of internet fandom be virtually scrubbed away

Buffy the Vampire Slayer season two finale would be so astonishingly powerful if David Boreanaz could. act. I’m sorry I’m sorry but guys. It’s still astonishingly powerful but Sarah Michelle Gellar is holding up the sky entirely on her own.

girl experiencing the hardest thing she's ever had to do

guy who didn't know the flash was on

Early S6 soft depressed Spuffy you are so special to me

rewatching phases and realizing how much oz sucks at being a wolf

not that i want anyone to die, but he was sorrounded by people at the bronze and he couldn't grab a single one? are they all that fast? why is everyone outrunning you?

Cliffs and seagulls above the sea, resin and wood commission

she's everything she's just KENnedy

the thing about dean winchester is he was born to be a widow in a gothic novel who lives in a completely run down old manor but keeps the family mausoleum spotless and already has spots picked out for herself and her children, and when you talk to her she can't go a paragraph without mentioning the son she lost to fevers as an infant ten years ago. forcing him to live any other lifestyle is inhumane

[ID: Sam and Dean Winchester walking through a forested graveyard talking.

Dean: Private cemetery. Must be nice.

Sam: What?

Dean (defensive): As in convenient.

/end ID]

Aziraphale [about Job being talked to by God]: I don't suppose he's getting any answers.

Crowley: No. But just to be able to ask the question.

This gets a bit dark, but does anyone else find it funny how absolutely useless Spike is when trying to help Buffy hide Katrina's body? He assures her that he is going to take care of it, that she should just go home, and we believe him, because he seems to know what he's talking about, but when she gets to the police station, maybe an hour later, they have already found the body.

I'm sure he tried his best, but Spike really isn't a lot of help sometimes.

It’s possible Spike did hide the body somewhere good but Warren and the others were spying on Spike, Buffy and her friends and since Warren wanted Buffy out of the picture he could have either had Jonathan or Andrew put in an anonymous tip to the police or even use magic to influence someone into finding the body.

Yes, that would also make sense!

Before a vampire is born, they are buried. One creature is put into the ground and another climbs back out of it. The old dies and a new lives, both a mirror of what came before and something completely new. They wear the face of the person that died, and their memories and personality shape who they become, but something at the core of their being has changed. Something in their brain has snapped and created a new creature.

When William dies, he is buried in the ground, and Spike climbs out. He is the same man, a fool driven by romance and devotion - but now twisted sideways. Where he was devoted before to his mother and to his crush in Cecily, those two people are now the same - Drusilla is his lover but also the woman who created him, who consistently refers to her sires and those she sires with familial terms. He was driven by gentle poetry before, and now revels in the art of violence and sex. He constructs a new style, a new accent, a new name. He is his old self, and something new.

When Spike is taken by the Initiative, he is buried underground. His brain is experimented on, and irrevocably changed. The person that climbs back out is Spike, but a Spike that will never be the same as they were before. They were driven by violence, and that has been taken from them. He is still his old self, but now is forced to become someone new. In Something Blue (again evoking the something old/something new idea), he desperately claws at the ground, trying to find a way to go back, like he's trying to climb back into his grave and be reborn again. But there is no going back - we cannot undo the things in life that shape us. This marks the turning point in Spike's arc, where his path is shifted onto the one we see going forward.

(Credit to toshsato)

This scene is kind of a light-hearted mirror to S6, with the roles inverted. In The Gift, Buffy is buried in the ground, and in Bargaining she climbs back out. She is the same person of course, but she is permanently changed by her experiences. In a way, a different Buffy climbs out of her grave, her trauma making her new, but completed shaped by the old. And she doesn't want it - the first thing she tries to do is recreate her jump from The Gift. To climb back into her grave and be her old self again. And in S6 (specifically Once More with Feeling and Dead Things), Spike is one of the people stopping her, pointing out that there is no going back. There's no point, there's "nothing there" - because life is just living, and you have to go on living.

By the end of the season, Spike realises that he must become a different person, to be reborn again. And so in Grave, he descends beneath the ground again, into the underground caves, and there, the Spike dies. The old, soulless Spike is gone, and a new ensouled Spike climbs back out - again, completed shaped by who they were before. They are the same person and also kind of not, old and new. Buffy too climbs out of a literal grave in this episode, and in doing so affirms her commitment to living, to experiencing life in all its forms, to show it to and share it with Dawn. The grave is not a static place of death, but a place of change and rebirth, where old identities can be shed and new ones can form, for better and for worse.

The Spike we see in Beneath You (another reference to the grave, being literally beneath), is a new man, with a new outfit, eager to leave his old self behind and insist that he's changed. But it doesn't work. Just because he is something new, that doesn't mean he's not also the old. It's not as easy as that. He has to reckon with what he has done and find a way to make amends. And so in Chosen, he again goes beneath the ground and dies.

When he is reborn on Angel, it is as a new man, quite literally on a mystical level. His death made him a "champion", and so when he comes back to life, the difference in his being is of massive, prophetic, cosmic importance. He is still the same Spike we saw in S7, and the same Spike we saw in S2, the same Spike that always bickered with Angel, and the same William that composed poetry in his spare time. But he is also so fundamentally different that even the fates themselves recognise it.

Spike's arc is one of constant death and rebirth. Of constant statis and total change. He returns beneath the earth again and again, going back to the grave, to the womb, to die and to be reborn over and over, shaping him every time, and every time there is no going back. Once the body has climbed out, a grave is just a hole in the dirt. There's "nothing there" anymore, and the only way is forward.

This has been a nail polish appreciation post.

why are you even interviewing those vampires bro. you’re either gay or you want to become a vampire or both