I put “no hookups, no communists” in my Tinder profile. I haven’t been getting any matches so there must either be a bunch of sluts around me of a bunch of godless reds.
this is literally the funniest post on here

I put “no hookups, no communists” in my Tinder profile. I haven’t been getting any matches so there must either be a bunch of sluts around me of a bunch of godless reds.
this is literally the funniest post on here
What's this metal bird doing, bro, we're in Unova!
oh my god he's headed right for the towers
Naw, LET HER COOK!
THE REAL QUEEN OF RAP!!!!
Leaving this in the tags was criminal
you have no idea how important this aspect of her character is to me
you heathens will reblog day specific posts any day of the week. i woke up thinking it was wednesday
happy wake up thinking it was wednesday sunday
it's fucking friday
My dinnar 💪💯❗💥
This is one of your worst posts yet man
You called me dirt sucking poor and told me my carrot looks like a cock
i’m starting a collection
the collection grows!!!!!
you know what day it is?
THATS RIGHT, ITS WATERMELON WOLF WEDNESDAY
AWOOOOOOOOO
whoever came up with kissing someone's hand as a sign of respect knew what they were doing. slut.
there is this very strange ‘joke’ that some well meaning buds do with my books where they ask a bunch of questions based on the cover as if to point out absurdity in a dry way. i dont know bud why dont you read it and find out? can you imagine folks doing this to another author
example would be something like: ‘i just have one question does the trex chef cook the meal himself or is he just the restaurant owner? and isnt this unrealistic because those plates are too big for his small arms’ bud. BUD.
either you actually want to know in which case theres literally a book you can read to find out OR you dont really care in which case do you always make joke comments on authors new books? do you say to steve king ‘does clown have a house in the sewer or just hiding down there?'
‘and why a red balloon why not blue?’ my autistic way makes behavior like this really stand out to me. i can see how i am treated as neurodivergent creator with a unique point of view. honestly what it comes down to is i think it is very hard for some buds to accept i am sincere
i think this experience is pretty universal for buckaroos on the spectrum in all parts of our lives. bud we know you are treating us differently, we can feel it and we see it every day. i am not upset about it, just mentioning so buds can consider this
ordered pizza from a small local place and they didnt actually cut it so i've chosen to revert to a wild animal and begin ripping it apart instead of just using a knife to portion slices
absolutely visceral experience. food is so much more satisfying when you have to fight it. i may be feral
i am not proud to say this but that pizza lasted fifteen minutes. i normally am not that gluttonous, but this goes beyond glutton. there was gluttony and wrath. a whirlwind of sauce, cheese, and pepperoni, all atop a flatbread that was shred apart by my own hands due to the neglect of another
in that moment i was wild. i was free. i understood the simplest joys in life. the joy of eating and manifesting my own destiny
been reflecting on this all day and the unsliced pizza experience honestly ruled. i think everyone should try it sometime or another. you have not truly lived until you just absolutely obliterated a pizza in such a feral manner
is this you
yes
run
My best friend and I have this tradition we call “chicken dinner” where we get a rotisserie chicken, lay it on a tarp, start on opposite ends of the tarp, and on the count of three we both run at the chicken and start ripping into it with our bear hands. We will be on our knees fighting for the best pieces of meat, ripping into the chicken with our faces, and it is the most viscerally delicious chicken I have ever had in my life. Grease gets everywhere. We have to do this outside. We have to tie our hair in buns beforehand.
You have never known the joy of food until you are lunging at your friend to rip the best part of the chicken out of their hand, rolling around on the tarp, stuffing it in your face before they can retaliate, and you realize “holy shit did I just growl?” And then you realize they are doing it too.
The chicken gets decimated. It’s absolutely destroyed. We aren’t allowed back inside until we have been hosed down. It’s the best.
something is wrong with everyone on this website it’s like fucking chernobyl in here