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arda

@tapeta-lucida

there's a freaking beast !! - 20 - they/them

I put “no hookups, no communists” in my Tinder profile. I haven’t been getting any matches so there must either be a bunch of sluts around me of a bunch of godless reds.

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femoids

this is literally the funniest post on here

just one question

there is this very strange ‘joke’ that some well meaning buds do with my books where they ask a bunch of questions based on the cover as if to point out absurdity in a dry way. i dont know bud why dont you read it and find out? can you imagine folks doing this to another author

example would be something like: ‘i just have one question does the trex chef cook the meal himself or is he just the restaurant owner? and isnt this unrealistic because those plates are too big for his small arms’ bud. BUD.

either you actually want to know in which case theres literally a book you can read to find out OR you dont really care in which case do you always make joke comments on authors new books? do you say to steve king ‘does clown have a house in the sewer or just hiding down there?'

‘and why a red balloon why not blue?’ my autistic way makes behavior like this really stand out to me. i can see how i am treated as neurodivergent creator with a unique point of view. honestly what it comes down to is i think it is very hard for some buds to accept i am sincere

i think this experience is pretty universal for buckaroos on the spectrum in all parts of our lives. bud we know you are treating us differently, we can feel it and we see it every day. i am not upset about it, just mentioning so buds can consider this

ordered pizza from a small local place and they didnt actually cut it so i've chosen to revert to a wild animal and begin ripping it apart instead of just using a knife to portion slices

absolutely visceral experience. food is so much more satisfying when you have to fight it. i may be feral

i am not proud to say this but that pizza lasted fifteen minutes. i normally am not that gluttonous, but this goes beyond glutton. there was gluttony and wrath. a whirlwind of sauce, cheese, and pepperoni, all atop a flatbread that was shred apart by my own hands due to the neglect of another

in that moment i was wild. i was free. i understood the simplest joys in life. the joy of eating and manifesting my own destiny

been reflecting on this all day and the unsliced pizza experience honestly ruled. i think everyone should try it sometime or another. you have not truly lived until you just absolutely obliterated a pizza in such a feral manner

is this you

yes

run

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My best friend and I have this tradition we call “chicken dinner” where we get a rotisserie chicken, lay it on a tarp, start on opposite ends of the tarp, and on the count of three we both run at the chicken and start ripping into it with our bear hands. We will be on our knees fighting for the best pieces of meat, ripping into the chicken with our faces, and it is the most viscerally delicious chicken I have ever had in my life. Grease gets everywhere. We have to do this outside. We have to tie our hair in buns beforehand.

You have never known the joy of food until you are lunging at your friend to rip the best part of the chicken out of their hand, rolling around on the tarp, stuffing it in your face before they can retaliate, and you realize “holy shit did I just growl?” And then you realize they are doing it too.

The chicken gets decimated. It’s absolutely destroyed. We aren’t allowed back inside until we have been hosed down. It’s the best.

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when people who want to be vaguely progressive say 'nature' all secular style but it's painfully obvious they mean 'god' while thinking they don't mean god

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"natural behaviour" "the natural body" "nature intended" "nature created" no da fuck it didn't