Ze Tank Iz Fluffy No?

Look, DB Cooper is probably dead, that whole thing went down over 50 years ago. The author of My Immortal, on the other hand, is almost certainly still alive, and I'd love to know hat happened to them and what they think of their fic's continued infamy.

whenever i'm trying to talk myself out of buying something i don't need i always hear my old russian professor's voice echoing in my head: "WHAT??? WILL YOU DIE THE RICHEST MAN IN THE GRAVEYARD?" and then i make an unwise financial decision

i'm so glad i happened to see these tags this is the best thing anyone has added to this post so far

so I found out I had skull deformities in the funniest way possible

wish me luck everyone I go in for chad surgery tomorrow

Reblog to open a rail line from your blog to the person you reblogged this from

our beautiful rail line... (so far)

The rail line may be a bit derailed but that's okay.

tags from @flintandpyrite

I don't have any glasses for the eclipse someone relay it to me when it happens

sun, less sun, less sun, less sun, less sun, less sun, less sun, less sun, less sun, less sun, less sun, less sun, less sun, less sun, less sun, less sun, less sun, less sun, less sun, less sun, less sun, less sun, less sun, less sun, less sun, no sun :(

more sun, more sun, more sun, more sun, more sun, more sun, more sun, more sun, more sun, more sun, more sun, more sun, more sun, more sun, more sun, more sun, more sun, more sun, more sun, sun again

It's like I'm there

Hate it when someone I know gets poisoned and suddenly it's their whole personality

They get highkey obsessed with antidotes

it's cute really, how excited humans get when the sky blinks

she's winking! the Sun is winking flirtatiously at her wife the Earth! quick everybody wink back

Either people need to learn how to tell the difference between an “I’m sorry” that takes direct responsibility and an “I’m sorry” that signifies sympathy, or I’m gonna start responding to unfortunate information with a solemn nod and a “Sympies,” because I am tired of receiving a “Why? It wasn’t your fault” every time I try to vocalize compassion.

I'm forwarding all of you my next therapy bill.

Can I propose the XKCD method instead?

XCKD 945, ID in Alt

Dispose of the boy

Unfortunately Pickles did not win the magazine photo contest so we shipped him off to the oil rig 👍

*Wakes up*

*Sees an overwhelming amount of Asexual posts*

...Welp. I guess Denmark finally lost.

Oh, you think you're safe now?

Nothing can deliver you from these paws!

Its me, your feral godmother

*waves a wand and grants you the teeth and claws to fuck your evil step family up*

Good luck kid you're in a reverse beauty and beast situation. Do not let that princely motherfucker fall in love with your inner humanity or the spell will fail and you'll turn human again

Good news if you bite his ass you can start a pack together. Go forth. Enjoy the ball

You can bite a princess too if you want. Or a milkmaid, or a butler or whatever. Go nuts. The more the merrier

#misread as feral hogmother

That's my girlfriend, she's rooting for you too

#investing at 70 notes

That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said about a post of mine that wasn't an addition to a post of someone else's XD

#posts that will become Tumblr heritage

I wish. I don't think it's even gonna crack 500 notes

It’s all so neat

It's so fucking cool because it's not even like. A "fake" vagina. All the correct types of skin and nerves and tissue exist in male genitalia to make a clitoris, vagina, and vulva- but you just gotta move them around and snip out some extra bits. Modern medicine kicks ass.

you, reading this. you're a creature now. reblog to creature your followers

get creatured idiot

oh thank fuck i thought i was never gonna get creatured