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the mortifying ordeal of being known, etc

@tangerinesunbeam

Steph, she/her, uk, 26
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capacity

Why is it that I can only make sense of what I really look like when someone is attracted to me. Genuinely angry about this bc yeah I’m vain and talk about how beautiful I am all the time but always suspect I look like an actual creature to most people and can’t imagine anyone seeing me naked until someone shows me how much they want me. I was about to shower today and I looked at myself and thought oh yeah i make sense this is a coherent arrangement of limbs and flesh and bone. the shapes created here can be someone’s dream

Not me answering my own question years ago

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mwagneto

this is the only thing on my mind rn

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sanatfuari

[ID: Two screenshots from an article in The Guardian.

The first reads "The Doctor Who writer Russell T Davies now has an answer to a question he is frequently asked: what time would he travel to in the Tardis? Since the death of his husband, Andrew Smith, last year, he knows he would go back to the moment at 1.50am on 12 April 1998, when he first laid eyes on his future life partner in a Manchester nightclub."

The second screenshot features a bolded quote from Russell T Davies: "As an ‘out’ society, we’re less than 50 years old really, and that’s nothing" The rest of the article follows: "Those eight years I cared for him are our happiest years. They were so intimate and so honest. Everything else just falls away. There’s no nonsense,” he tells Laverne. “I am talking about love here. That is the word, love. He will be in every good man I ever write now.” The last sentence is highlighted. End ID.]

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violetbain

In bonobo societies, all bonobos frequently engage in sexual contact with other members of the community, regardless of sex. Female bonobos in particular are quite promiscuous with both fellow females and males; thus, bonobo society is matrilineal or matrifocal. Since the patriline of each member is unknown due to female bonobos having many sexual partners, the female bonobos take communal care of their collective young, and the male bonobos take on other community-care roles instead. It is theorized that this leads to lower levels of violent conflict, as opposed to chimpanzee, human, and other primate societies that are patriarchal, since male members of these societies must find ways to identify their offspring which inevitably leads to violent, controlling behavior toward female members as well as violence & competitive behavior toward other males who may pose a threat to their social statuses. Bonobo societies are extremely peaceful in comparison to other primate societies.

The feature musical film Mamma Mia! (2008), directed by Phyllida Lloyd, shows an example of what a matrifocal society, resembling the structure of bonobo society, could look like for humans; where several females care for a child whose exact paternity is unknown, and instead of violence resort to prosocial behavior (joyfully singing and dancing) in order to resolve conflict. In this essay I will attempt to

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fwizard