bitch

idk man i think that if you can read dozens and dozens of trans men talking about how their support systems abandoned them when they started getting too masculine on T or had top surgery or whatever, and queer spaces started treating them like threats or potential predators, and you find these stories going back to the 90s or even earlier, and you read all of that and come away thinking that there’s nothing wrong with how progressive communities treat men, you are just fundamentally beyond help dude. you don’t see us as people

a lot of people are somehow misinterpreting this post as saying that trans women Don't experience alienation or ostracization from queer, feminist, and/or progressive communities, to which i say: i am not responsible for your belief that trans men and trans women have to have entirely separate and opposite experiences. if you think that trans men experiencing something implies that trans women can't experience it, that's on you! you might want to sit and have a think about how you see the world and whether or not you're buying into the (deeply patriarchal!) idea that men and women are entirely separate from each other. you might learn something.

So play like a noob? got it

You’re joking, but it actually is a popular theory in chess that a complete noob potentially can beat a master by confusing them - as the noob doesn’t know what they’re doing the master is unable to recognize which of valid strategies they’re pursuing and cannot deploy proper counterstrategy.

Chessmasters when their opponent doesn’t make one of the five approved optimal opening moves:

#used to do shit like this when we fenced#for real tho a newbie is way more of an issue than a master because WHAT are you doing???

I’m currently a fencing coach for a high school club and my least disciplined fencer routinely beats kids who have been fencing for 5-6 years because he’s just so unpredictable and messy that his opponents have no idea what to do.

I know what a master is doing, I just may not be faster than them. I know I’m faster than a newbie but hey what the fuck is happening?

I have, on rare occasions, won pokemon battles like this. I have no idea what the meta is, and just slap things together that sound cool. It’s fun when you win by taking someone completely off guard because “Who would run that?!” Idk man, the noob that just kicked your ass. I’m not smart enough for all these mind games that go into serious competitive pokemon, but I do know big laser go pew.

The Newbie Flail™ is the most terrifying attack imaginable.

“The best swordsman on the planet doesn’t fear the second-best swordsman. He fears the new swordsman, because he has no idea what the lunatic will do.”

i go to a gay bar and notice the furry convention's in town. i see a fine lookin bear remove his fursuit, revealing that underneath, he's also a fine lookin bear. I raise my eyebrows and say "woof" and all the cat furries immediately hiss and scatter

i love seeing astrology girlies reinvent incel level phrenology but spirtual and cottagecore i guess this is truly hell

"roommate's cat" is the ideal pet. This creature is not my responsibility in any way and I spend zero dollars of my income keeping her alive and she lives in my house and is obsessed with sitting on my lap. Perfect arrangement

Hey all for whoever doesn't know, my home province of British Columbia is on fire currently and tons of people are on evacuation notice, and I haven't really seen any media about it, so just here spreading awareness

Someone made Felonies Georg into a graphic. Bless.

crime show: well we don’t know what time she was taken but as you can see in this convenience store security footage she’s mouthing something and our lip reading technology tells us she’s saying ‘those three wise men they’ve got a semi by the sea’ which are lyrics to James Blunt’s song ‘Wisemen’ which was playing on that store’s favoured radio station at approximately 3:18PM and she disappears from view exactly five minutes later so therefore

crime show: now see usually we’d manage to get a timestamp from the security footage but unfortunately in this case the cameras only record a live feed and while you would think this means we shouldn’t be able to see the footage at all, luckily a famous Twutch streamer happened to be using it as their background footage while recording yesterday so

yes, but can you blow it up and enhance it?

unfortunately this particular footage is extremely low quality and very grainy but as I zoom in on this super blurry pixelated image you can see the details become much clearer and easier to identify

But what about the extremely specific pollen found on the camera lens?

good eye! originally I didn’t even notice it was there but while combing through the footage I noticed three different people sneezed while in view of the camera. I did some research and found that the particles represent the pollen of this obscure plant life that is native to this particular state, which really doesn’t help us, except that it only ever blooms in the opposite season! So I did some digging and found four nurseries within a 50 mile radius, only one of which sell that plant all year round, which of course means

Hold on just one moment! If the twitch streamer was using the cameras live feed as background, then we should know the time of the crime! The twitch archive should mark how long the streamer had been on by the time of the perpetrators presence onscreen, and if we know when they went live, we will know the time the perpetrator was in the building!

DAMNIT JONES THIS ISN’T YOUR CASE

WELL IT’S MY CASE NOW! The Captain thinks your kidnapping is related to my investigation into that cult up state. So, apparently, we’re supposed to work together. I’m not any happier than you are.

but I hate sharing!

TOUGH SHIT MCNAMARA! Your kidnapping case is somehow connected with that cult that’s been sacrificing its members to in the belief that it will appease the elder god Cthulhu. Now, I don’t like it any more than you do, and I’m worse at sharing than a toddler with a new favorite toy, but lives may well be on the line here! Are you willing to put aside our differences, and do what needs to be done?!

Alright, but when we catch the perp he’s mine. I don’t care if he’s sacrificed a hundred victims to goddamn Mickey Mouse! That man may know who killed my father, and I won’t let anyone get in my way - not even someone with your develish smile.

Do you think you’re the only one who wants to find Eric’s murderer?! He was my partner! He was my friend! I know we haven’t worked together before, but this case will have us working together for a while, until we eventually find your fathers killer. And I can see this case taking us a long time, and defining both of our lives for the foreseeable future. But don’t worry McNamara, my years of experience on the force, put together with your grit, tenacity, and loose understanding of the rules will make for a great partnership, with plenty of laughs and sexual tension to go around. Until some being from on high decides the precinct isn’t ready for a same sex couple, and I rekindle my relationship with my previously unmentioned ex-wife. But we, and some unknown watchers of our adventures, will always know we were meant to be together, weirdly large age gap be damned!

Yeah, and while Eric was off playing cops and robbers with you, I grew up without a dad! Do you know how many times I stared at my baseball glove, wishing he was there to throw it to me? You may have lost Eric, but I never even got to have him!

But you’re right. This case will definitely take at least a full year, especially with the fact that we will be constantly interrupted with other, smaller cases, one of which will be halloween themed. We’re working together for the forseeable future, and my playful countenance and morbid wit will very quickly mesh with your hardened attitude and tendency to keep secrets.

And while you go back to your unhappy, stiff relationship with your ex wife, I will be shown having constant meaningless sex with a multitude of beautiful women so that the writers can really get across how Not Gay I am.

It’s gonna be a wild ride, Jones. And there had better be stakeouts.

executive producer dick wolf

This is the best demonstration of the principle of “yes, and” that I have ever seen. They should put this in textbooks.

I love getting these completely out of context tweet notifications 😂

but the context is even better lol.

losing my mind what do you MEAN mr. brightside is 20 years old

WHAT DO YOU MEAN 2003?????

i just can't look, it's killing me 😔

follow me on twitter (x) for more memes and personal updates!! (ps i follow back!)

it should be illegal to have a bus stop without any seating im 100% serious

“Why can’t I just magically fix this” “Why isn’t there a magic cure” “Why won’t all just go away, like magic”

Because WIZARDS are UNDERfunded in this country

Contact your local government representative via the ol’ Molotov Express to demand more money for wizards

oH, yOu'RE sO UnDErFunDed...

You got me there American Train System… you got me there

i really do think other fandoms should get to experience the epic highs and lows of trade season. imagine it’s 2014 and you’ve just spent $100 on concert tickets only for one direction to announce they traded niall to bts for jimin and a draft pick. imagine being a long suffering vamps stan and knowing they get the first overall pick of twinks from last years x factor season. shawn mendes is a free agent

always so scary to see a placw you’ve been irl online. like what are you doing on here

the concept of a freakshow never fully went away. nowadays people collect posts/screenshots of disabled/mentally ill people literally just Existing Online and put them on their accounts with the intention of displaying them for people to hurl abuse towards. And they think that this is a Normal and Moral way to behave and carry themselves.

I reckon it's very telling how easily the Cop show replaced the Western as like the default US action genre. Both expressions of the same fundamental worldview just in different settings with different signifiers

I think a lot of stuff about DnD (especially the earlier editions themselves but also just the general assumptions that filtered down to today) makes sense if you realise how much influence the Western had on it. Like once again it expresses the same sort of ideology just with different signifiers; swords instead of sixshooters, knights instead of cowboys, orcs instead of "injuns"

Our Hero (cop/cowboy/adventurer) is marauding into a hostile, unconquered place (urban centre/indigenous land/fantasy wilderness) that, while notionally uninhabited, is occupied by an inherently-dangerous other (criminals/indigenous people/orcs) who are morally permissible to kill by the dozens - the power imbalance, which makes killing dozens of these opponents, without seriously fearing for one's own life in each encounter, possible, is a natural, positive thing. The pure innocents being protected (white suburbia/white settlement/white townsfolk) are defenseless, sheep against wolves, needing above-human individuals as their sheepdogs. The Heroes take wealth and power in exchange for very little risk, and the ability to kill with impunity - but, we can be assured, they do it out of moral selflessness, defense of the helpless against an assuredly-real threat. They're brave. They venture into the (drug-user's house/indigenous family's campsite/dungeon).