if you imagine this isnt about basketball then this headline depicts an intriguing development in a factional war to decide the fate of our world

Even Weird Al has had that™ experience with Tony Hawk

Tony Hawk IS Forrest Gump

So I looked up why and how this happened, and it turns out Weird Al hired a company called Birdhouse Skateboards to provide some “skate/punk” extras for the video. Birdhouse Skateboards is a company started by Tony Hawk, so not only did Weird Al end up putting Tony Hawk in his video without realizing it, he actually hired Tony Hawk’s company without realizing it! And then Tony Hawk just decided to go along as one of the extras himself.

BTW, he’d already won like 40 contests already, some of them international skateboarding contests. So it’s not like Weird Al cast some unknown skateboarder who ended up becoming World Famous Skateboarder, he was already well known and was running his own Skateboarding company.

Think of it this way. This wasn’t ‘Weird Al got Tony Hawk to be in his video’, this was ‘Tony Hawk found a way to be in a Weird Al Video.’

The chance that Tony Hawk has infiltrated your location or piece of media is low

BUT NEVER ZERO.

i hate how capitalism and 2010s-20s minimalistic designs took away creative and colorful designs. i miss how mcdonald’s used to look when it had the red tile roof and when they had chairs in the dining room molded after their characters. i miss when storefronts would have colorful cartoon art on the walls and windows. i miss how hot topic used to look, when it looked like it’d be scary to walk into when you were a kid but after you got in and saw all the invader zim merchandise it was okay. or how malls used to have so much color, from the tiles to the walls to the ceiling. i hate the bland minimalism we have now. i hate the beige and silver design that every store has now. i hate it.

In case you are wondering "how did we get here exactly?" Let me outline some things.

Playgrounds and play areas in fast food and malls required more employees to keep them clean. People (fairly) didn't want to do that work for minimum wage on top of their normal restaurant duties, and stores wouldn't hire enough people to not have to split work between the kitchen and cleaning. So the play areas were closed off and then torn down.

Then, apple came in with their empty white box stores, and suddenly everyone wanted to look like them (because they had a massive hit product that was also a status symbol and people want to feel like they have status even if they don't) or like a luxury brand store (again, false status). Bright white, extra white LED lights everywhere (nice in some ways, but blinding in others), fewer items stocked on shelves and then in general in stores. Apple had that design in part because they had relatively few products to display relative to store size, same with luxury brands. It makes more sense for each item to be on a pedestal when you only sell a handful of products. It doesn't when you have dozens of products.

At your more "middle class" stores, part of shift to stocking less is false scarcity - they want people to feel like they have to buy an item now or risk not getting it, and so people can't wait for discounts. Part of it is that with the new displays that hold fewer items but make things look more "boutique," keeping the shelves stocked and things moved from the back requires more employees than they are willing to pay. My local target, which is undergoing renovations to better fit their "Target Boutique" look, has had chronically empty shelves in some areas due to understocking and not having enough staff to replenish stock in all areas. Now they've added more self checkouts so they can cut back on cashiers and move those jobs to stock. Some places that haven't gone as "minimalist", like Walmart, have also shifted their employment focus from cashiers and stock to mainly stock by switching to primarily self checkout in efforts to maximize profits by reducing labor costs.

Part of getting rid of fun, unique designs was also reducing costs to make profit rather than innovating or drawing more customers to increase revenue. Custom molded seats with several different designs cost more than a minimalist set of identical chairs. Anything that children can play with or play on will break eventually and need to be replaced, so it's cheaper to just not have those things and not have to spend money on them. Unique roofing and siding costs more money to replace, so it was swapped for generic stock. If it can't be pressure washed or painted over, then it's also out because those are the cheapest ways to clean or refresh the storefront. Fountains break down, so rip them out or don't have them to begin with. Landscaping requires maintenance, so just leave it plain concrete and don't bother with planters. If there are plants, they will be knock-out roses, box hedges, and maybe some small cheap annuals because the former require next to no maintenance and are disease, pest, and pollution resistant, and the later just get replaced with other cheap annuals the next season. In the name of profit, everything looks bland and repetitive.

In the 90s and early 2000s, the middle class has more spending power to balance out the costs of fun and family friendly things in public spaces, but also percent profit hadn't needed to grow as much for a company to call itself successful. Because total profit isn't what matters, what matter is percentage profit growth. When you want your profits to grow exponentially, you have to minimize costs exponentially also - which, eventually, will lead to a collapse because there is a minimum you have to spend to operate and have people willing to work and want to pay for your product.

(There is also a back-and-forth relationship between residential and commercial design, outside of just where mandated by towns, where commercial mimics residential in an effort to feel "homey" and "inviting" and then people go "ew, that house has the same exterior as the mcdonalds. I don't want my house to match fast food," so the housing shifts to something else, and then the commercial design shifts again, and this goes on forever and no one learns to just make the businesses unique because that would impact their profit growth)

The "boutique" look of stores also serves another purpose. By having some items scattered in various sections (accessories being mixed in with the clothing sections rather than in a separate accessories/jewelry section, some pet goods are in the pet section, others are in seasonal or sport or housewares, etc.) you force people to walk through areas they normally wouldn't in order to find a specific item they are looking for. If I want a sun hat for my beach trip, I can't just go to hats, get the one i want, and then be done. I have to walk through swimwear where they've also placed some beach towels and pool floats and water bottles, because they hope I will impulse buy the other things if I'm there for only one of them. This is the same reason the grocery store keeps getting seemingly arbitrarily rearranged every 6 months. It is arbitrary, and it's because they want people who have a routine of shopping for their staples and know exactly where they are, thus overlooking other items, to have to look at the shelves more closely again, which makes them more likely to make impulse purchases.

Anyway, as usual, the question of "why does shit suck and why is nothing as fun as it used to be" is answered by "capitalism."

one more point to add: the more generic and rote something is, the broader the "market appeal." branding and aesthetics that have personality and communicate a specific meaning or mood? someone, somewhere won't like that. someone might think it's too "kitsch" or "distracting" or xyz. you might even lose a customer. we can't have that, it's too risky! make it as bland and devoid of unique personality as possible. there, that's better: sure, maybe nobody likes it, but nobody is going to make it a sticking point for their spending either. you have the market research to prove it after all.

now imagine you're a multi-billion dollar conglomerate that owns a dozen or three different chains. it only makes sense to extend this to all of them, right? it's just good business.

maximizing profits means minimizing risks, and any statement you make is a risk. so don't say anything. bland, utilitarian, and familiar: there's no risk in that. endless minimalism. endless nothing. endless cash.

hey netizens! i'm not sure how many people are aware, but youtube's been slowly rolling out a new anti-adblock policy that can't be bypassed with the usual software like uBlock Origin and Pi-Hole out of the gate

BUT, if you're a uBlock Origin user (or use an adblocker with a similar cosmetics modifier), you can add these commands in the uBlock dashboard to get rid of it!

reblog to help keep the internet less annoying and to tell corporations that try shit like this to go fuck themselves <3

Where do I copy-paste these to? "My filters"? "My Rules"?

'my filters'! if you look closely you'll notice the format is different between the two pages. the (website)(##)(additional text) format goes in filters

Certain words can change your brain forever and ever so you do have to be very careful about it.

I now disagree with that post that went something like "to make high schoolers laugh post pandemic you have to kill someone" because when I was clocking out of work today I overheard my coworkers, two high school boys, joking around. One said "hey bro...literally me when im making pizza..." He was in fact making a pizza, that's our job. They both laughed like beavis and butthead and repeated it a few times.

why did whitney and mariah always look like a couple when they were together like hello?

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A woman woke eup with the sleepy hungie, and she was so so tired. So tired she could not cock a breakfast, but the answer? Dumpl ings baybie.. GOZA, a won tonn. And the chilly oil? What happens next..

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A woman woke eup with the sleepy hungie, and she was so so tired. So tired she could not cock a breakfast, but the answer? Dumpl ings baybie.. GOZA, a won tonn. And the chilly oil? What happens next..

some twin peaks shit happening on my poem

Jesse: "Yo, Mr. Fring, I've been thinking about this quote, man. "One must imagine Sisyphus happy." What do you make of that?"

Gus: "Ah, Jesse, I see you've stumbled upon the existential musings of Albert Camus. It's an intriguing concept, to say the least."

Gus: "Sisyphus, condemned to an eternity of rolling a boulder uphill only to watch it roll back down again, represents the futility and absurdity of life's struggles."

Gus: "However, Camus suggests that by accepting and embracing this absurdity, one can find happiness."

Jesse: "Yeah, but I mean, isn't that just some crazy philosophical bullshit? How can someone be happy in such a fucked-up situation?"

Gus: "Happiness, Jesse, is a state of mind. It's not about the circumstances we find ourselves in, but rather how we choose to perceive and respond to them."

Gus: "Sisyphus, despite his eternal struggle, can find meaning and purpose in his repetitive task. By embracing his fate and finding fulfillment in the act itself, he transcends the burden he carries."

Jesse: "That's deep shit, man. So, what, you're saying we should just accept all the crap that comes our way and be happy about it?"

Gus: "Not necessarily. Acceptance doesn't mean complacency. It means acknowledging the realities of our situation and finding a way to navigate them while maintaining our inner peace."

Gus: "It's about finding meaning in the journey, even if the destination remains elusive."

Jesse: "Yeah? I guess that makes sense in some messed-up, twisted way... Hey, speaking of finding happiness, have you tried Taco Bell's Nacho Fries? They're insane, man!"

Gus: "...Nacho Fries, Mr. Pinkman?"

Jesse: "Oh, you gotta try 'em, Mr. Fring! They're like these crispy, seasoned fries with this gooey cheese dipping sauce. It's like a flavor explosion in your mouth, man. I bet you'd love 'em."

Gus: "If they are as remarkable as you claim, perhaps we can find a moment to indulge. After all, even in the face of existential ponderings, we mustn't forget to appreciate life's simpler pleasures."

Jesse: "That's what I'm talkin' about, Mr. Fring! We'll have ourselves a little culinary adventure amidst all the fucking chaos. Life's all about finding those moments of joy, even if it means embracing the absurdity along the way, right?"

Gus: "Indeed, Jesse. Life's contradictions often lead us to unexpected discoveries. Perhaps, we may find a glimpse of Sisyphus' elusive happiness in the process."

rip to all the “fuckyeah___” blogs that carried our society at one point </3

we are in the midst of a true Real One

more drawings of the cats (3)

what does it say about us as a culture that most of our microwaves have a dedicated popcorn button

i dont know but whatever it says, its magnified by literally every bag of popcorn saying “don’t use the popcorn button”

Funnily enough, there’s an answer for that.

In brief, the “popcorn” button was initially introduced by fancy high-end microwaves that used an integrated humidity sensor to tell when your popcorn was done; microwaveable popcorn vents steam as it cooks, so by monitoring the amount of steam in the cooking chamber, you can get pretty close to perfectly popped popcorn every time (though it’s generally only pretty close, since different brands of microwaveable popcorn have different moisture content).

As the feature became popular, manufacturers of cheap microwaves started adding a button labelled “popcorn” as well, in order to imply that they offer this feature. These “popcorn” buttons simply run the microwave for a fixed amount of time that the manufacturer figures is close enough to the printed cooking time of most commercial brands.

In practice, of course, the fixed-time “popcorn” button usually just sets your popcorn on fire. To make matters worse, owing to America’s permissive advertising laws, microwave manufacturers are allowed to make all sorts of misleading-but-technically-true statements in their packaging and instruction manuals, rendering it nearly impossible to tell whether a given model of microwave has a real humidity-sensing “popcorn” button or a fake fixed-time “popcorn” button before buying it.

In summary: the “popcorn” button that your microwave popcorn instructs you not to use exists because American microwave manufacturers are using a misleadingly labelled button in order to imply that their product has a feature that it does not in fact have, in a way that can potentially trick people into burning their houses down, for advertising purposes. This is perfectly legal.

So: what does that say about our culture?

Information that helps give context to our college roommate blowing up the dorm microwave twice via the popcorn button.

can you imagine the discourse that would go on on dog tumblr

3 notes

🌿 bassetdyke Follow

okay how do you pronounce the name of this item -> 👟

a-WOOF (correct) 🟦⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ 2.1%

A-woof (wrong) ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ 0.2 %

other? (tags) 🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦⬜️ 97.7%

12,301 notes

🐾 chihuawalter Follow

okay we need to talk about the term “small dog syndrome” and its roots in ableism and other forms of systematic puppression. rant under cut.

Read more

252 notes

🎾 aussiedoodled Follow

okay I’m gonna be real I can’t stand antimailmanblr lately. i know we all hate mailmen and there’s nothing wrong with that but I think dogxxing might be a little too fucking far.

🔁 catahoulaz Follow

op please try to stick to nongendered language like mailpeople! using “mailman” exclusively may undermine the point you’re trying to make!

🔁 aussiedoodled Follow

my stance on dogxxing has changed

25 notes

💕 postsfrommycrate Follow

for the love of dog PLEASE stop using the term “tr*pod dogs”!!! this is a derogatory term!!! you should be treating all disabled dogs with love and kindness, not demeaning them!!!!

🔁 tpunk-pup Follow

op I appreciate you trying to support us but there’s actually a very widespread movement to reclaim the term “tripod”. your pinned post says you’re an “able pawed ally”, so I’d recommend you checkout the tripodpunk/tpunk tags on the site to see some more varied stances within the community. a lot of three legged dogs actually prefer to be referred to this way!

🔀 postsfrommycrate Follow

kill yourself

186 notes

🎉 pawpadpride Follow

honestly if you’re still supporting doug the pug after what he said on monday unfollow me idgaf.

1,034 notes

Pawnonymous said:

go get hit by a car

🌕 wolftastic Follow

IS THIS BECAUSE I SAID I’M NOT ATTRACTED TO LASSIE

🔁 milkbonemilf Follow

pawnon’s right find the nearest street now

🔁 wolftastic Follow

I’M GAY

6 notes

💁🏽‍♀️ emilythehuman Follow

hi dogblr! i’m hoping you all can give me some advice. my shih tzu recently had to go on a temporary wet food diet to recover from a surgery, and now she’s refusing to eat any dry food. what can I do to convince her to start eating dry food again? i can’t feed her wet food forever, and i was wondering if you can tell me any tips that make dry food more enticing! thank you!

🔁 bassetdyke Follow

wet food forever

🔁 huskyrights Follow

wet food forever

🔁 tpunk-pup Follow

wet food forever

🔁 buddysblog Follow

wet food forever

🔁 postsfrommycrate Follow

wet food forever

Coinage