Most of us often think that we have experienced love.
But many of us link heartbreak with love. We link unbearable pain and broken trust with love. We link liars and cheaters with love.
But that’s not love! It just can’t be.
I believe romantic love is not something I have experienced. But I have experienced heartbreak.
I have experienced something as intangible as my soul crushing and breaking and the pieces of it slowly leaving my body, because even they couldn’t stand me anymore.
Heartbreak I have had in plenty.
And each heartbreak taught me, if not what love was but it definitely taught me everything love would NOT be.
When I was 13, it taught me that love won’t make me feel ugly. Love would make me feel beautiful because the truth is, I am. I am beautiful.
At 14, it taught me that love would never make excuses for not meeting me or for not returning my calls. Love would have other priorities, I know. But I know, I would be one of them too.
When I was 15, it taught me that love would not be deceiving. That love would love me with clothes on as much as love would enjoy getting me out of them.
At 16, it taught me that love wouldn’t disappear on me without a goodbye. That love wouldn’t disappear at all, if it were upto love but even if love had to leave, love would do everything in love’s power to let me know how much I am loved and just how much I am going to be remembered. By a song, or ten.
When I was 17, it taught me that love would never hurt me. That love would rather hurt than see me hurt. Love would do everything to make my pain go away and would never, not in a million years be the cause of my pain. Not intentionally anyway.
At 18, it taught me that love would not just drown me in cheesy lines. But love would make me laugh. Not just smile and giggle and blush. But laugh until my stomach hurts. It taught me that love would be my choice for both, a crazy, fun day and a romantic night.
So, I may not know what love is but I sure as hell know everything that love isn’t. And this time, I will settle for no alternative. No one should.