💕 need someone to encourage me and hopefully I can encourage too! Meanspo is alright but honestly I’d prefer to do this in a somewhat positive way (im fragile sometimes) 💕
must (!!!) -
Be 18+ (im 21)
female (I’ve had too many male creeps on other accounts)
check in daily (sometimes I am forgetful)
be ok with only a few pictures* (I’ll send measurements to start, then once trust has built maybe photos too)
*I’m not going to send pictures of my stomach/waist/chest (at least not until I’m 100% comfortable). this is bc my old account was found by a friend who knew it was me because of distinct tattoos on my sternum. I don’t want that to happen again
✨ i don’t want it to be too formal, more like a supportive friend! ✨
Shopping with body issues is wack, I’m picking up some shorts because I need a few pairs to do my hikes in and I’m holding them up like shit these are so small only to look and see the size is bigger then what I wear. The second they’re on my body they don’t look that small but like on the rack I swear they’re children’s shorts
just want my old friends from high school that i don’t speak to anymore to see a picture of me skinny and go “oh wow, she really glowed up” and “she must be doing well”.. like idk why it matters to me. i guess it’s because i was a complete, overweight doormat for them to walk all over in high school and i keep seeing people i graduated with getting married and having kids and i just want something that makes me impressive as well, something that makes them jealous and makes them think they should’ve treated me better when they had the chance. i want to be the one that got away from our town and is doing beyond amazing.. but i gotta look skinny for the part :/
I just gained four pounds and I want to kill myself. Everything is getting worse, I thought that maybe at least I’m eating pretty well, but nope. I hate myself, I hate living in that stupid body. I’m just…tired..
So my goals don’t center around weight anymore, but this is still pretty crazy. I’ve been in the 150s for quite a long time now, and this morning my weight dipped down into the 140s. 😳 I literally don’t remember being in the 140s since maybe middle school…. Also, that means I can officially say I’ve lost 50lbs. 🎉 Cool stuff! 😊
I wasn’t sure how much I weighed. Weighed in today. I’m 5'2 and weigh 169 pounds. I took this photo today and love it. So I figured since I was feeling good I’d check my weight because even a high number wouldn’t upset me. It’ll only get better from here. This photo might get taken down, but I really love it. Lol. I even added some flowers just incase..
What if I dont want to recover? What if I want to get worse and become just bones? I cant wait till people tell me to eat because I look like I dont eat. I know my thoughts are unhealthy but I find comfort in them.
So, this doesn’t really start out as an “I wanted to lose weight” story. I’d been battling with myself for years before I finally was handed an opportunity.
Let me just start by saying, I’ve been working as a dietitian for 10 years, but before that, I was a 200 lb high schooler. My life had been about finding a way to lose weight fast. The only thing that ever really worked was Weight Watchers.
So I lost weight when I decided to become a dietitian, getting down to 136lbs after about 7 years. (It takes time!)
Then, I had children.
I let myself eat things I normally had control over (fried food) until I was addicted to them.
PS - that’s how fried food/fast food works. It’s hyperpalatable, easy to eat and combines all the things our brain loves (fat, salt, sugar)
Getting an addiction under control is difficult, takes a lot of support and accountability. It takes setting SMART goals and keeping up with the plan until it becomes habit.
Here’s how I got control.
It started with a bit of anxiety that took my appetite away. As I dietitian, I understand the importance of 3 meals a day, so I ate meals that were smaller, focused on more lean protein, vegetables and fruit. Whole grains were consumed in much more appropriate amounts (½ cup of rice, beans, potatoes, corn, oats).
I recognized that the appetite control was important, so when the desire to eat junk popped up, I grabbed something to drink that has little to no calories (mostly coffee *u*). I basically reprogrammed my brain to be satisfied with the food I needed and enjoy the comfort of coffee (reg and decaf). I also used the coffee to distract my mouth when bored.
Another thing I did was set an exercise goal. I used my lunch hour to walk. It started as 30 min a couple days a week (and if you know me, this is when I started walking and writing my fics) and moved to my entire lunch hour 4 times a week because I had associated walking with writing. I needed to walk for the chance to write!
After the first month, it started getting easier. I didn’t need to fight cravings as hard.
Believe it or not, I let myself have chocolate almost daily. It’s just a small amount of higher quality dark chocolate. I get more satisfaction from it.
I’ve got an air fryer if I want fries, and it’s not a huge amount. I make plenty of non-starchy vegetables so I don’t feel like I’m starving. I keep fruit at all times. Junk food stays out of the house except on special occasions.
All this being said, it took me a year to get these changes implemented and it’s going to take 4 more years to solidify them. I’m still way too familiar with my cravings and it can be really easy to slip back into bad habits.
To anyone wanting to lose weight, it’s possible, but takes time. It takes support from friends and family. It takes goals that are S.M.A.R.T. and sticking to them until the changes become part of your daily life.
It’s difficult, but sometimes it all starts with our minds. What has control over us? Why am I eating these foods? Is there something else I need to deal with? We have to find our weaknesses and take them into account when we set goals.
You might have days where you feel like you’ve failed, but there will always be a benefit to eating healthier, exercising and talking to people about how you’re feeling.
After a year, I’ve lost 38lbs and am back to the weight I was before I had my first child. I had months where I didn’t lose anything, but I kept going because I felt better. I enjoyed walking. I didn’t need hyperpalatable foods as much. I saw inches dropping before pounds.
It’s all about looking at the big picture and not just a number.
I’m always around if anyone needs someone to talk to or just some accountability! This has been a process, but I’m happy to finally see the results a year later!
Lots of love!
Ps- yes, I got in full cosplay for this reveal… Make up and all XD
So I’m normally a size 12 in jeans but since I’ve started to lose weight n that, I thought “ oh order a cheeky wee size 10.. see if it fits??” and they arrived today AND THEY WERE TOO BIG!!! AND I HAD TO REORDER IN AN 8!! I literally can’t remember the last time I was a size 8 thank u jebus
Changing the relationship with how much you weight
Hi, if you decided to read this, you are probably struggling with loving your body and with your body image. First I’d like to share a bit of my own story and (hopefully) some helpful insights along the way:
Warning: I’ll be mentioning numbers and generally a lot of weightloss stuff, if that’s triggering for you, please go look up pictures of puppies or birds instead ❤ Also I am in no way an expert and this is just my experience
I’ve had a goal weight for a while now. A number I became super attached to even though it was picked almost randomly. One day I simply decided I’ll get my weight down to 59kg (131lbs).
I’ve always been heavier than other girls my age. The most I ever weighted was 68kg (150lbs) and I remember I just didn’t feel good. So I set the goal of 59kg. I lost a lot of weight that summer but I never reached my goal. Since then (it has been years) I was never able to go lower than 61kg (134,5lbs). Why? Because my body’s stable and healthy weight is 61-63kg (134,5-139lbs). I even have a hard time gaining weight past that! Either way I always felt bad about it, I felt like I’m not trying hard enough. I weighted myself almost every day at one point…
Your body has a healthy and comfortable weight and that should also always be your goal. Your body will guide you that way.
Recently I realised how pointless it is to chase my goal weight. I am happy and comfortable now. I look and feel great now. I don’t need to restrict myself just to reach a number.
This realisation is so freeing I had to share with you. Here are some more mindset changes and actionable things that helped me a lot:
Set goals in how strong you want to be and what you want to be able to do with your body. Not how much you want weight or measure
Measure your success in fitness and healthy diet with how you feel, not with numbers
Work out to be strong and flexible, not to lose weight
Let your body guide you to what you need and listen to it’s signs. Don’t ignore cravings and hunger. They are telling you something
Find the weight your body is comfortable in!
Someone else’s weight and body doesn’t make yours any less beautiful. You are your own person. You are a seperate entity
Try not to weight yourself
Enjoy food without feeling bad about it!
There’s nothing wrong with losing/gaining weight and losing a scale as long as it doesn’t change your self worth and the way you see yourself
So, I found out my weight yesterday. I am ashamed of it. I know there is nothing to be ashamed of rationally but I still am. I stood on the scales and they initially said a number I was happy with, a loss, but then they did a big wobble and a clunk and added on 4kg. To add to the shame, I got off the scales, walked back to the chair, and then in a panic decided I could not cope with the doubt caused by the wobble and the clunk, and asked the nurse if I could stand back on them. She said “oh was it different to you what you were expecting?” and I made some comment about the clunk and just wanting to be sure. Anyway, when I stood on them a second time, they were the same as the heavier number from the first time. So then I was mortified that I had made a fuss as well as feeling horrible about the number.
In the last 24 hours, I have panicked over the number countless times. However, I am really trying to retrain my brain. So every time I feel that horrible wave of disgust and anxiety, I think “I am a person who values having fun with my children” and I remind myself how fantastic it felt to be able to go wild swimming a few days ago. I need this weight and this healthy body to live my life to the full. I am so much more than a number.
Weight talk ahead, please skip if that is hard for you. And I just want to preface this by saying that however the pandemic is affecting your body, it’s okay. This has more to do with processing loss and grief.
When I was pregnant with the twins, I gained 20 lbs during the 4 months I carried them. I lost 5 lbs directly after the miscarriage, but actively resisted losing the rest. It felt like a connection to them, the last vestige of their time in my body, and I didn’t want to let that go.
During my pregnancy with D, I gained 25 lbs. that put me at 40 pounds over my usual weight and the heaviest I have ever been. I lost those 25 pounds pretty quickly and remained steady with those 15 extra pounds.
Now I’m having some kind of hormone change: my hair is falling out, and I’ve dropped five pounds without much effort (something that is unusual when I’m breastfeeding, my body ordinarily clings to fat right now).
I used to relish this time of my body returning to what I think of as normal. I used to appreciate feeling more like myself again. But now it feels more complicated. My body is returning to a point it hasn’t seen since I lost them 15 months ago. It feels like losing that last physical connection to their lives. Now all I have left is their ashes.
And all of this is complicated by the supreme joy I have from D. I feel guilty for replacing them. (I know I didn’t). I feel guilty for moving on. (I know I shouldn’t). There’s been so much craziness in the world, I haven’t really had the mental bandwidth to properly process those feelings. But then my body is shrinking and all of it is coming to the surface and I’m not entirely sure what to do with it.
It seems that all I can do is hold this sweet baby, breathe her in, and hold on to the love I have for the big brothers we never got to meet. Hold them in my heart while my body decides that it is ready to move on.
i’m questioning if i might be a little bit bisexual. can i be bisexual if i’m only attracted to a few girls online? nobody i’ve met in real life? i’m not sure. maybe i don’t need to define it. i’ll know if and when a homosexual attraction comes along. also, felt cute today. the shirt is what i would’ve worn to a pride festival if there were any. working on running and losing weight all the time.
Food for the day (i also had a little bit of a smoothie I made for lou this morning, and a true lemon energy packet), weight, and the nice view from our walk today.
I’ve been half heartedly doing a challenge to fill my plate with ½ fruit or veggies but otherwise eating like normal and i dropped 1.8lbs. But to be fair, some days I also skipped breakfast and i’m out of gluten free snacks but my meals have been just as big. Sunday I ate an entire 9x9 dish of green chile chicken enchiladas between lunch and dinner. And yesterday for dinner i ate a big bowl of homemade gf mac n cheese. So just over here living my best life but we’ll see if the weight loss continues.
No breakfast, Lunch was a salad and leftover instant pot lasagna. Dinner was rice with meatballs and bbq sauce. A cucumber and onion slices in vinegar for my veg. Unpictured is a fruit snack, a handful of popcorn, and a couple andes mints.
Bloat has SIGNIFICANTLY gone down and my weight is on the decline. Cool cool. I know i’m only down like 4 pounds so far but this is seriously the easiest i’ve ever lost weight so far. I guess this could be some water weight/bloat but idk cuz i’m still eating carbs/fruit/sugar. Obviously it will be interesting how long i can keep it up but as of right now, this is great. I’m a little hungry in the morning but not bad (because i eat dinner so late and i’ve been drinking a crystal light energy packet each morning in a liter of water but occasionally some fruit if i get actually hungry) then i eat lunch at 2, a snack around 6 when lou eats dinner, and then i eat dinner with josh around 9pm. No tracking calories, i’m never hangry and feel genuinely good, not cutting anything out.
Guys, only weigh yourself every three days! I weigh myself maybe twice/three times a week and every time I step on the scale I weigh two pounds less. It might not seem like a lot but but that’s at least 5-6 pounds a week!
I’m so damn happy because it took years to become the person I am now. What I learnt is to neverever give up and keep working out and eat healthy. The results WILL show, it’s nothing but a matter of time and nothing more.
I wanna lose 10 lbs more and I’m more than eager to challenge my body! It may take a while but I WILL accomplish everything I wished for, no matter how long it’ll take.
Do you ever see little girls walking around in short shorts and crop tops and too much make up with their cheerleader moms and feel an overwhelming sense of sorrow?
Because you know they will always be expected to be beautiful and thin. And you remember what it was like when you were young but didn’t realize how young you were and looked in the mirror and decided you were fat and you were eleven. Eleven. And pictures from decades ago still bring you sadness as you see yourself wearing oversized jackets to try and cover yourself up.
It’s no wonder I was thin, no wonder women were so praised for being thin, for taking up as little room as possible
We were trained to please men, and that made it hard to please ourselves. We were trained to make ourselves desirable in ways that made us reject ourselves and our desires. So I fled. My body was a lonely house. I was not always home; I was often elsewhere. I imagined when I was young some science-fiction version of humans becoming brains in jars as a good thing, that our bodies were some sad thing we were mired in rather than instruments of joy, connection, and vitality, the non-negotiable terms of our existence. It’s no wonder I was thin, no wonder women were so praised for being thin, for taking up as little room as possible, for hovering on the brink of vanishing, no wonder some of us vanished through undereating like a country ceding territory, an army retreating, until it ceased to exist.
— Rebecca Solnit, Recollections of My Nonexistence: A Memoir (Viking, March 10, 2020)
Something we worked on in therapy last session was coming up with positive “I am” statements. I’m going to write a post about it at some point, but for now I’ll just summarise that instead of worrying about what my weight is going to be this afternoon, I tried to come up with an “I am” statement to repeat to myself every time I panic about the number - whether before or after I know what it is.
Two days ago, we went out to a local beauty spot and we went wild swimming. The weather was gorgeous and hot but the water was very cold! However we still swam and the girls and I jumped in from a rocky platform. Then we lay in the sun and warmed up again afterwards. When I weighed less, I could never have done that because I couldn’t tolerate the cold. I could barely cope with the swimming pool, even that would turn my lips blue on occasion.
So my “I am” statement for today and any time I panic about my weight, to remind me that I am SO MUCH MORE than the number on the scales is “I am someone who values having fun with my children and making memories”.
I had a bit of a binge last night… Disappointed but accepting it. It’s so hard to get the binging tendencies out my mind. Once I start I feel like I can’t stop and it’s like I don’t care how I’ll feel the next day.
Hey just wanted to pop in and tell you how great I think you are. Also, you must have some amazing muscles because you look like you should weigh like 180. Love your blog!
You are the absolute kindest!! Thank you so much for such a positive message! I’ve always weighed a lot more than I’ve looked, guess my body just handles weight well? Hope you have a most cheerful day anon friend <3
so in the first one i guess i didn’t send, i was basically saying the same thing, like i am proud of how i look for the most part, but i’ve got some belly pudge that i hate, and i hate the number on the scale. i know i’m beautiful but i’d rather be a slightly different beautiful. i’m going to college in the fall and don’t wanna start a diet while still living at home but am seriously considering just like barely eating while there to maybe try and lose some of this weight. i’m just like :(
Thanks for resending!
So here’s what I’ve learned about dieting from personal experience. Barely eating will not help you lose weight. Barely eating turns into an eating disorder, and leads to binging because your body thinks you are starving, and the next thing you know, you are neck deep in junk food that you’re suddenly desperate to eat and you can’t stop. (While at college, I also tried barely eating. I gained weight.).
So everyone has a little belly pudge. Your body has organs and you need room for them. I personally don’t think there’s anything wrong with trying to lose weight or change your body, but here are some tips from my own experience:
1. Talk to a doctor before trying to lose weight, preferably a dietician. I know, it sounds silly, but hear me out. When picking a goal weight, it can be super easy to just be like, I want to weight 95 lbs. that’s my goal. When in real life, your body needs to weight 130 lbs because of organs and because it needs the energy to get you around. So you diet and diet and kill yourself exercising and never quite make it and then you feel like shit because you can’t reach your goal weight when your goal weight wasn’t realistic in the first place.
2. BMI is a dirty liar. It was developed back in ye olden days and doesn’t take into account muscle or organs or anything else. Don’t use it as your only tool to see how much you should weigh.
3. Find an exercise you love. So while I was in college, I was very depressed. I also didn’t know how to get therapy and was afraid to try, but read online that exercise helps. So I started walking on a treadmill every day. That evolved to going to the gym several times a week. Now I’ve added in weight training. And I love it. But I tried Pilates and yoga….hated them. Find physical activity that makes you happy because it just makes your body feel better in general and helps with the sad brain.
I am a lifelong overweight person who is currently trying to lose weight, and since the middle of last year, I’ve gone from 260 lbs, where I hated myself and felt like a useless fat monster (I wasn’t), to 230 lbs now. I sometimes still hate my body, and it’s a work in progress. I still obsess too much about food and fight the urge to binge.
But I also love my body. So I read in a book by Jen Hatmaker that she started calling her body “she” and “her” because her body is a part of her and those are the pronouns she uses. When I think about my body, I want to love her. I love her legs that take me hiking and my arms that hold my friends and my feet that are super tough and walk over rocks barefoot and my hands that type out the stories I tell myself. She is so strong and she is aways there for me. She loves me.
So is your body. It’s okay to want to be healthier, and to do that, you can try to focus on eating healthier foods, adding more veggies to your diet, and exercising more. But know that your body is beautiful and strong and if you don’t work on loving it before it looks like what you want it to, it will be hard to love it even if you lose weight, because you’ll find something new to dislike. So by all means, talk to a doctor and work on your health. But remember that your beauty doesn’t come from your weight. It comes from who you are. ❤️❤️❤️
This week has been an interesting one! I’ve been a little overwhelmed with stress because my schedule was filled with tasks to do for work. But I got them done and that is what matters. Also this week I have been doing much better and this is what has happened:
* I have been eating 1600-1800 calories a day.
* I have been drinking 64oz-107oz of water a day.
* I also exercised 4 times this week.
I’m proud of myself for continuing to push myself and for the fact that I did not try to eat too little. I am so suprised that I was able to eat a lot and still indulge myself in my favorite snacks while being able to lose 3.4LBS! Today I am at 212LBS. So each week I should continue to lose 1-2LBS a week. Get ready to see me reach my first goal of 210LBS!!💕💕💕