just critical role things!
a selection of stuff that happens in this stupid show that I love
- when sam sings along to the battle music
- whenever marisha hits something and goes ‘pop pop!’
- the collective horror/amusement/sadness on everyone’s faces when sam starts an ad
- ashley’s consistent bad luck with initiative rolls across both campaigns
- “been a whiiiiiile”
- matt laughing at something one of the cast said just before they cut back to the stream
- laura being a twelve year old
- the way taliesin stays quiet when everyone else freaks out? like everyone could be screaming and he’s just sitting there with this look of shock
- travis getting scared and singing
- nott’s nervous EAAAAAAH sound
- every time there’s a fly in the studio and everything halts for a minute while they all try to catch it
- “okay okay okay okay”
- travis’ fond look of exasperation while laura charges her dice
- the way liam only speaks in the accent of his character? like i didn’t know he wasn’t english for a good few episodes of the first campaign
- sam and laura talking quietly to eachother and giggling
- also the way tal and marisha would just lean against eachother in the last campaign
- those moments where matt is just so proud of his wife
- when one person starts singing and then everyone else joins in
- when nott and jester go into Detective Mode
- that moment when travis realised that he can use grog’s stupidity for comedic value…. and to fuck with his wife
- just literally all of taliesin’s facial expressions
- travis/fjord’s slight fear of caduceus/taliesin
- whenever they do a vm one shot and they sit in their old seats that one really gets me y’all
- when travis does the BOOP BOOP sirens whenever something suspicious is happening
- taliesin’s lil ‘nope!’s when he decides not to do that thing
- “cool cool cool cool”
- Just for fun, here’s everything I think I know about Vox Machina:
Grog:
- Insert God of War joke here
- Born on a mountain, raised in a cave, truckin’ and fuckin’ is all that I crave
- The only straight person on the team…I think? I dunno.
- Looks like he’s gonna chug some ale and then go fight some Romans
Vax:
- The OG dead teammate
- Something something Raven Queen
- Vex’s twin brother
- He’s bi! I don’t know a lot about him but I know he’s bi!
- Looks like Ren Faire, but goth
Vex:
- I can already tell that I’m going to have a terrible crush on this character, I just know it.
- She stole a broom one time and it was bad apparently?
- Vax’s twin sister.
- She has a bear. Not a magic bear, just a bear. Sam Riegel has a rivalry with this fictional, non-magical bear.
- Looks like Ren Faire, but sexy
- (I’ve never been to a Ren Faire)
Percival de Yadda yadda de Something de ???? de Rolo:
- He’s either a very dumb smart person or a very smart dumb person.
- He’s in love with Vex, which seems reasonable.
- The blue stripe in the bi flag that Taliesin has created with his characters.
- He made a gun??
- There are either vampires or demons or both involved somehow.
- He looks like a side character in a novel about sea-faring adventurers from the mid-1800s who dies in the third chapter and is never brought up again.
Scanlan:
- D&D bard.
- Some variety of not-straight, or so I’ve heard.
- Killed God.
- Looks like he had to flee Italy in the 1500s after pissing off the entire Medici family.
Pike:
- Grog is her best friend in the whole world.
- I don’t know much about her, but it looks like she has kind of a mirror image aesthetic to Yasha– light instead of dark and so on.
- …I really don’t know much about her, now that I think about it. Everyone seems to like her, though.
- Looks like Practical Female Armor
Keyleth:
- Something something Destiny.
- Fell off of a mountain as a fish.
- The only person in this group with a sense of Right and Wrong.
- A sweet and gentle individual.
- Looks like she modeled for the Lascaux cave paintings.
listen guys. i feel like we as a fandom talk a lot about “because you’re at the bottom of my list” and keyleth’s speech to raishan and “I hope you have a necromancer in your party because i’m looking at a fuckin’ dead man” and those are all great! but i feel like we dont give enough attention to the most badass, oh-shit-they-did-that moment of vox machina’s career.
when they killed their first ancient dragon, and they knew that its 3 teammates would soon find out and unleash holy hell upon them, knew they had just put a target on their collective backs for the most powerful enemies imaginable, what did they decide to do? they wrote “one down” on the wall above the dragon’s corpse, in its blood.
it’s been like 3 years and that remains the biggest dick energy I have ever seen not only on critical role but in any piece of media at all. jesus christ.
so we all know how percy is supposedly the luckiest player character in crit role, and there’s no denying taliesin’s various dice blessings, but i was curious - does percy actually roll the most nat 20s proportionally? or just he just roll more in general? critrolestats has the rankings, but that just counts total rolled, not ratio between them
so i did the math myself
and of the 16 main player characters (m9 including molly, vm including tary, excluding tiberius), here’s how the rankings actually line up (everything given as a ratio of 20s to 1s, rounded to 3 significant figures unless more are needed to differentiate)
- Caduceus (2.6:1)
- Pike (2.38:1)
- Molly (2.27:1)
- Percy (2.21:1)
- Vax (1.75:1)
- Scanlan (1.52:1)
- Grog (1.48:1)
- Fjord (1.476:1)
- Beau (1.34:1)
- Yasha (1.173:1)
- Vex (1.171:1)
- Caleb (1.15:1)
- Nott (1.04:1)
- Keyleth (0.896:1)
- Jester (0.8:1)
- Taryon (0.625:1)
so what does this mean?
well, taliesin’s for sure lucky, he grabs three of the top four spots, but percy doesn’t hold the title, that actually goes to caduceus, and in fact percy rolls the worst out of all taliesin’s characters (could be attributed to him rolling more, so bringing it closer to an average, or just the fact that percy was cursed so that every time a gun of his misfires the others also misfire immediately after, have you noticed?)
pike coming in surprisingly high, leading vox machina in lucky rolls
(worth noting - vax and taryon do have the lucky feat, however critrolestats counts discarded rolls, so it shouldn’t matter)
in general, the players roll more nat 20s than they do nat 1s, though keyleth and jester are particularly unlucky, and tary, oof
nott’s the closest to rolling an equal number of 20s and 1s, at 57 20s and 55 1s
the average ratio of vox machina’s rolls is 1.5:1, whereas the average for the mighty nein is only 1.48:1
additionally, matt’s ratio during the tal'dorei campaign was about 1.5:1 as well, whereas his ratio during campaign 2 has so far been a huge 2.11:1
so vox machina were rolling better and in a safer campaign, which honestly tracks
(and just for fun, thorbir, wil wheaton’s character. in the two episodes he was on the show, he rolled 1 nat 20 and 10 nat 1s, literally as many nat 1s as caduceus has rolled in his entire 57 episodes, bringing wil wheaton’s ratio to a grand 0.1:1, over six times worse than the worst person on this list. additionally, he rolled 49 times, and his average roll across all of them was only 6.959. the dice curse is real.)
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