I’ve been struggling with nausea and lots of stomach discomfort lately.
Part of me is worried that it might be the beginnings of that obscure disease from smoking too much weed that causes people to vomit all the time.
It’s called Cannabinoid Hyperemesis Syndrome. And the only cure is to permanently quit smoking.
And part of me is hoping that it is.
While I was visiting family for Mother’s Day, I went for a long walk with Girl27.
I started by bitching about my sister and how I was annoyed at her. Then I added in the things that my mother had done that had pissed me off.
And I clearly had gotten myself worked up when she asked me why I didn’t just talk to my sister or my mother about all of this.
And I replied, “Because it’s easier to just stuff all of it deep back into the closet and lock the door!”
So now I need to see a therapist because, “Oh Mom, that was wrong on so many levels.”
I just finished making myself dinner . . . and spent the entire time singing "Mr. Sandman" in various styles and voices. Super low like a dude. Ear-splittingly high like Edith Bunker. With or without a goofy accent. Like an opera singer. I even waved my spatula. I am deeply, deeply weird when I'm alone.
Tuesday Truth
I saw three concerts at the Western Washington State Fair over the last two weeks. Billy Idol, Weezer, and Daryl Hall and John Oates. Have you heard my bit of trivia about Hall & Oates? They don’t call themselves that. Every album says “Daryl Hall & John Oates.” So if you bought a merch shirt with Hall & Oates, you got screwed. Also, why did you buy a Hall & Oates merch shirt? Are you going to wear it to school tomorrow to show you were at the concert?
The Western Washington State Fair is a few minutes from my house. Best place to see aging rockers. No traffic. Outside. Beer garden is near the stage.
Billy Idol exceeded expectations. Weezer was awesome. Best set list of any concert I’ve ever attended. Sixth row. Oh sure, some 6′8″ guy swooped in right as the show was starting and sat in front of Scott (the dude has grown to 7 feet after several retellings of this story), but it was still awesome.
Hall & Oates totally phoned it in. I mean, you’ve been together for close to 50 years. Don’t you have a cool anecdote? I know you’re not Bruce Springsteen, but jeez. I ran into a high school friend while I was there, and he left early to go get scones. See text exchange. That said, it was still fun. And they had the longest booze line I’ve ever seen at the end of a concert. Nice work, olds!
When people ask me how I felt about turning 50 this summer, I said it didn’t really make me feel old. But Scott and I celebrated 29 years of marriage on Sunday, and that DOES make me feel old. That’s a long time to be married. That’s like, your own kids throwing you a party old. I can’t go for that. No can do.
Purely on a whim, I bought a Mad Magazine last month for the first time in decades. I used to subscribe as a kid, and I still have several issues from the 70s and early 80s. I bought the magazine while at the grocery store, because it had a Goofus and Gallant parody (from Highlights magazine--another classic) that I thought was funny, and I wanted to share it with Scott. And then this month it was announced that Mad would no longer be sold at newsstands by the end of the year. So clearly I have superpowers. What else would you like me to buy that will soon be obsolete?
I’m headed to Arkansas Friday. Nothing gets a better reaction from people than telling them you are going to Arkansas on your summer vacation. I hear it’s the cool part of Arkansas, so stop questioning my sanity, folks! I might even wander into Tennessee!
Me: I’m looking forward to seeing Memphis. I’ve never been.
Random acquaintance: You know, Memphis is a kind of a shithole.
Me: Well, I don’t plan on moving there.
But who knows, maybe I’ll find my retirement home. I just saw a segment on CBS Sunday Morning about the Mississippi river, so I’m intrigued.
I have 126 drafts right now. About 100 are waiting for Halloween season (the season after summer) & the rest are horror movies that I want to see 😁
Truthful Tuesday. Share something here you’ve never talked about before.
Sometimes when the conditions are just right, I will fart when I am sitting down and the gas bubble will get trapped.
It then slowly rolls forward and up, passing between the lips of my labia.
Which then react by flapping wildly while the air rushes through, adding a novel twist to the sound of my farts.
It is truly a surreal sensation, yet not necessarily an unpleasant one.
Maybe a little truth
I’m looking in the mirror to the past
I’m in some kind of twilight zone
I lived a scene, a scene almost identical to a scene I lived 30 years ago. I was a child then, I’m the adult now.
When I was a child I was punched in the face and called a whore ( I was 12).
As the adult, I held strong and told the child that she’s loved. I repeated it as many times as I could while maintaining our rules.
How is this happening. What am I doing?
What is my truth?
My truth is
You can never go wrong with love.
If you love, with a pure heart, you win.
This is the refrain of California politicians. I live in California. In my city we have repaved every street between 2000 and 2015, you know, during the Great Recession. Since then we've started over. Our streets are swept every week. We have refurbished every park in the city with new playgrounds. Built a memorial to the brave men and women who have served our country. Under one of our parks we are building a storm runoff capture basin to capture water that would normally flow into the ocean and use it to water the park. Out recreation programs for adults and children are the best in the state. That's not my opinion, but Sports Illustrated which named us a Sportstown USA. We are a Tree City with 30k city owned trees in our parks and lining our streets. All of these trees are maintained by the city. A couple of months ago, a wind sheer blew through my street and fell two trees. Afterwards, the other trees on the street were examined and 9 of them were removed. I live on an east-west street and last Friday, there was a powerful east wind that blew down three trees at the park. If those trees had not been removed, they probably would have fallen on cars. The last 2 of them were removed only 2 weeks ago. We take care of our seniors with transportation, hot meals, recreation programs and socialization opportunities. This is the job of government.
Ok. I feel a little better now. It's been a pretty stressful, tiring week . . . she says on a Tuesday night.
