Like a breath of fresh air, I have constantly exhaled myself from my lungs. I think I like to pretend I am reborn into who I am meant to be. The truth is that I reinvent myself so often I have never given myself the chance. Every conversation is an opportunity to slip into a skin that is not mine yet fits just as uncomfortably as my own. I tell myself it takes time. But you can tell yourself that same thing every single day because it never won't be true. I am sure there must come a day when I can no longer shapeshift. But until then, I am likeable, and I am needed, and I am here.

SHAPESHIFTING NOW (k.p.k)

I want you.

This ones about a guy I like. He says he hates his hair when its wet, he hates his sleepy voice, and he said he gives bad hugs. He says he only wants to be friends, too. 

Butterflies. 

A poem by Karys, (towritepoems here on tumblr,) now a song by me. Everybody go follow her blog, her poetry is lovely. ♥

butterflies died in my stomach and turned into heavy stones and I will lay in my bed forever and make dust piles from my bones

oh god I can't say that I miss you  with silence spread out like the sea with that blank stare sketched on your face I know you've not thought of me

I am tired of feeling this tired a terribly consistent fatigue with a heavy heart blocking my lungs you still make it hard to breathe

oh god I can't say that I miss you  with silence spread out like the sea with that blank stare sketched on your face I know you've not thought of me

you have been gone for quite a while as I count the minutes in the bricks it will be exactly seven thousand four hundred and twenty when I finish this

oh god I can't say that I miss you  with silence spread out like the sea with that blank stare sketched on your face I know you're not thinking of me

Dear You

dear you, i love you more than anything in the universe, and i want you to know that that includes little local coffee shops and stamps that can’t be found anywhere but old corner stores where they should be worth hundreds but they are sold for dimes and the tails airplanes leave when they are chasing bigger things and i’ve heard that you’re doing well and i want you to know that i, too, am doing the best that i can, especially on days when i feel as if i have poured rocks in through my ears and crawled in with my underwear for a ride in the washing machine.

dear you, i love you more than anything in this world and sometimes that’s a terrifying thing to feel because my heart’s less than one quarter of who i am and i feel so small sometimes and i wonder if maybe love is a concept created by companies that sell things made out of lace and latex and chocolate and i’m scared that i’m going to wrap myself around you like a boa constrictor and swallow you whole and i don’t think you’d like that much because it would take a long time to digest you and it would be very dark in there.

dear you, i love you more than anything in this whole country and i don’t mean to be unpatriotic but i don’t understand politics and i know loving you isn’t even legal every where that it should be but it’s getting late and i wish you would come home now please come home because if you’re out of arms reach then you’re too far away and i am terrible at directions. i thought i had been taking wrong turns my whole life but i must have done something right to have wound up meeting you.

dear you, i love you more than anything in this whole town and this town is where i was born and where i was raised and where my family lives and the reason i exist. i owe everything i am to this town because it’s where my parents met and decided to have me and i’m thinking that i should thank them because that simple act is the reason i’m around to love you the way that i do, in ways where it feels like i’ve been laying down for sixteen hours and then i stand straight up and i black out for a good four or five seconds and i’m floating through space but things are okay because although i feel crazy and dizzy and out of control, my feet are still firmly planted on the ground and i am here and i’m not going anywhere.

dear you, i love you more than anything in my whole house. i love you more than the crappy art i’ve made that hangs half-finished on my walls and i love you more than my favourite food that sits tauntingly from my freezer and i love you more than the bathtub that allows me to have the bubble baths you and i adore so much and i love you more than the bed that hugs me tenderly every night and i love you more than my watch collection. you are my favourite piece of art and my favourite food and my favourite bath and my favourite bed and my favourite watch and i don’t care if it doesn’t make sense because you are my favourite everything and that’s what matters. you are my favourite.

dear you, i love you more than anything that i have in me and everything i have to offer but i want you to know that i have so much in me and i know you’re going to pick through me bit by bit because you are the one person that believes there is a speck of gold amongst the dust and coal that i am and no longer wish to be.