The magicians but it’s like, an emotional tabletop rpg with Kady as the exhausted DM. Greatest hits include:
- q and Alice putting their characters together as a joke, and never actually being able to break them up because every time one of them says “we talk out our differences and move on as friends :)” they roll, like, a nat 0 for wisdom and end up back together
- (Alice keeps screaming into her hands)
- actually the only time q rolled a nat 20 was when he and el’s characters remember the mosaic
- El immediately rolls a 2 for constitution
- Fen is the friend that came in 20 minutes after they started and had to wait for her character to get worked in
- the only time Julia rolled a nat 1 was getting into Brakebills.
- Margo: I’m elected high king of Fillory *rolls a nat 20*
- *incomprehensible screaming from the rest of the players*
- Kady keeps sending her character on increasingly unlikely quests so she can actually moderate the rest of these idiots
- Josh was late, then forgot his phone at home, then went on a snack run because he was late so his character keeps coming in and out of the game
- Eliot: I shoot the monster and magic comes back.
Kady: Roll for constitution and luck
Eliot: *nat ones on both*
Kady: the monster possesses you and becomes the new boss, and the library puts bans on magic
Eliot: *smacks his head into the table*
- El has to roll for himself and the monster now.
- Alice going niffin is basically a result of Julia egging her on and her character being forced to drink goat jizz earlier in the game. She actually rolled a nat 20 for this, but then Q rolled a nat 2 on wisdom later and she had to be human again as a result. She keeps kicking Q under the table.
- Q tries to end the game by killing ember, and rolls an 18 for constitution but a 3 for luck so magic ends up getting shut off and the game goes on for like another four hours.
- Julia: I become a goddess *rolls a nat 20* *incomprehensible screaming part 2*
- Penny replaces himself in the middle of the game with Penny23 because Julia’s being left out of the Julia-Penny-Kady relationship and he feels bad.
- this backfires when he can’t manage to work Kady into the tabletop version of their relationship too.
- Q’s death plays out like so:
Q: I fix the mirror, grab Alice’s hand as it explodes, and Penny travels us back to the real world in time for me to be reunited with El :)
Kady: Roll for luck
Q: *nat one*
The rest of the table: …well shit.
- Q spends the rest of the game with his head in El’s lap, complaining that this is bullshit while El strokes his hair and tries to bring him back. Some instances of this include:
El: I send the letter to Q, changing the timeline and bringing him back to life
Kady: roll for constitution and luck
El: *rolls a nat 1 and a nat 2*
Kady: you throw the letter into a bottomless hole on the top of a mountain
Q: *quietly screams into Eliot’s stomach*
El: the weird doorway in my head opens, and Q’s spirit is behind it.
Kady: Roll for luck
El: *rolls a nat 3*
Kady: Charlton is behind the door.
Quentin: Kady this is biphobic
Kady, bi herself and bitter cause her boyfriend and girlfriend are having a baby together in the game but her character is Not With Them: I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Eliot, at the end of the game and his rope: the bracelet Santa gave me is a key to the Underworld and I go there to bring Quentin back and we live a long and happy life together
Kady: roll for luck
El: *rolls a 5*
Kady: you end up fucking Charlton
Quentin, muffled: CHARLTON?????