Why do we care? Let’s think about why Thanksgiving matters for a lot of people.

Okay, sure, the obvious answer is the mashed potatoes. But it’s not the only reason that celebrating Thanksgiving matters.

One reason is a celebration of bounty. We celebrate having an abundance of food. One of the famous symbols of the holiday is the cornucopia — so much food that it spills out of the cornucopia. We’re celebrating that we have more than enough to sustain us, that we won’t go hungry or starve and die. Thanksgiving’s “food coma”, or the need to loosen a belt, are cultural icons. It’s a day to indulge in abundance. Like whistling in a graveyard, it’s a way of warding off any fear of not having enough.

For families who may not in fact have enough, sometimes it’s a day to celebrate what they DO have to be grateful for, even in the absence of abundance. Where there is life there can be gratitude.

For many families Thanksgiving is an opportunity to share with others their gratitude for the people or things in their lives. We know that feeling grateful is good for us, physically and emotionally. But our daily lives don’t tend to have a lot of routine opportunities to focus on and express that gratitude. During a Thanksgiving meal it is common to take that opportunity not only to feel the gratitude but to express it in front of others. Both thinking it and expressing it make us feel good.

For many people Thanksgiving offers a prescribed occasion to gather with family. Families who are separated by distance often come together to celebrate Thanksgiving. It’s the busiest travel time of the whole year. There are families whose members travel from all corners of the United States, and sometimes from overseas, to share the holiday. Coming together is the most important part of the holiday for some people, independent of any other component.

For some families it’s not the distance that has separated them but something in their own history. Family members who have refused to talk to each other for months sometimes will nonetheless gather at a Thanksgiving table. The combination of tradition with the attitude of gratitude can sometimes draw together people whom events have caused to become disconnected. The Thanksgiving table can become a kind of demilitarized zone, where slights and resentments can sometimes be put aside, if only for the length of a holiday.

Thanksgiving is also one of those milestones that gets recognition. First Thanksgiving is celebrated as a significant event in the life of a couple, of a family, or of a child. It’s one of those markers and memories that tends to hold special meaning for people. Similarly, last Thanksgivings can be emotionally charged as well. When a family member is seriously ill or perhaps deployed, the possibility that this could be the last Thanksgiving that can be shared increases the value of the event itself. Thanksgiving is most powerfully about being together, whether for the first or the last time.

Over the course of years, families often develop traditions that take on weight and importance. Whether it’s Aunt Emma’s pumpkin pie, Uncle Sid’s oyster stuffing, or Cousin Linda’s veggie pot pie, it becomes important that the traditions remain the same year after year. It’s the sense of continuity, predictability, and shared experience that creates a sense of security and stability. Even something as simple as the suggestion that perhaps this year we could do without the green bean casserole can provoke howls of distress. Even if no one actually likes the casserole, it feels important that tradition be respected and maintained.

Of course, sometimes traditions must evolve. This year may have to include for the first time a vegan entree for one family member, a gluten free stuffing for someone else, and a sulfite free wine for yet another guest at the table. Traditions can grow and evolve without losing a general sense of continuity, as long as most of the traditions remain intact.

Guests are another reason we often value Thanksgiving. It’s a common custom to invite someone new or outside the family to share the Thanksgiving bounty. This opportunity to be generous or inclusive allows us to bring someone into a holiday circle of warmth and connection. This sharing feels good to us as well as to those we invite.

Lastly, it’s about the mashed potatoes, which taste better on Thanksgiving than on any other day of the year.