I don’t normally do Superbats stuff but,
I have a MIGHTY need for Bruce Wayne The Public Genius Billionaire Playboy, to be caught by the media judging the ABSOLUTE FUCK out of Superman.
Maybe it’s early on in their relationship, they’re still solo, they don’t know each other’s identities. And on the various “Bruce Wayne goes to Metropolis” adventures, he gets taken or attacked by villains and Superman swoops in to save the day.
Except, Bruce can’t run off and turn into Batman because he can’t get loose yet, there are too many people around to see, he can’t use his Batman Skills to break free from the giant mechanical robot cause of the reporters etc etc. So he’s basically just stuck there, playing up the “Young attractive weak human billionaire” shtick until he can.
Except Bruce is trained. He’s a detective, a tactician, he has done various forms of martial arts and stuff throughout the years and really this isn’t SO BAD. He’s had worse.
So, while he won’t admit it he starts to get a little bored. He starts watching the fight between Superman and the Villain-Of-The-Week. And there are just DOZENS of pictures of Bruce sitting back, all locked up or tied down or held by a giant robot, with that little scowl of Judgement And Frustration ™. He’s judging Superman’s fighting form, he’s judging the villain who captured him, he’s judging literally EVERYONE’S costumes and designs and themes, judging all of the decisions Superman makes while deducing things about powers and weapons. He slowly reaches Peak Bitchy.
Because Bruce comes to two (2) conclusions.
1) Someone needs to work up the courage to tell Superman to improve his form, super strength be damned, and if it HAS to be Bruce then why not. He fights like a baseball player and a tipsy drinker from a run down bar had a baby, then discovered said baby had super strength.
2) Metropolis villains (And Superman) need a better stylist. Why are their colors so bright? Why are their robots so unnecessary large and bulky? Do none of these people know about color theory, or how accent colors work??? At least HIS villains know how to cultivate their aesthetic smh.
And when it’s all over Clark is low-key kinda offended, but also confused? Like what does this guy see so often that he’s just COMPLETELY unimpressed?
And this begins Superman and Brucie Wayne’s public bickering, usually done when Superman saves him. The media goes wild with accusations of Hatred, then when they notice Superman going the extra mile to impress Mr. Wayne, accusations of romance. Neither of them are too far off.