Some final thoughts...
Matsu islands - 5th place
Machu picchu - 8th place
Heroes vs Villains - 13th place
The connection between all of these seasons for me, is I was betrayed by the people I felt closest to, personally, and in the game. I know how these games work, I know how survivor works, I’m not gonna cry about a part of the game that is always a constant and how the game was played and I lost (Ok maybe I’ll cry a little). In survivor there are always the people who are with you, and the people who are against you. It’s very easy to play against the people who are trying to vote you out, but that hasn’t been the case for me in any of these games.
I know it’s super cliché to say this but my soul is beat down and battered from these games. In my first season, I played hard, with no regrets, caused chaos, and last minute was snatched away from final tribal. But you know what? That was ok! I met a lot of really cool people, and I made some amazing friends and had a blast the entire time I was in the game.
I don’t feel like I was able to truly meet anyone this season, I don’t feel like I’m coming out of this game feeling like I belong in this community, like I did last time, or the first time. To be honest, I don’t feel like I belong in the community at all anymore.
I think the hardest part about all of this is how much love I have had for this community over the last year, and how I genuinely felt like this is where I belong, and now I’m not so sure. I love this community, I love so many of the people in it, but I don’t think I can play anymore. I don’t really know how much I’ll be on Skype anymore. I’m not trying to do some #dramatic exit or anything, just kinda, saying sort of farewell for now. I’m gonna miss everything this community has and everyone in it.
Sorry for the rant I’m wrapping it up I promise
I’m happy I made jury in this crazy game, and thank you so so so much Ryan Teddy and Mandy for casting me it was an absolute honor, and I will stay on jury because I respect the hosts and the game its self. As i walk away from redemption island and head towards ponderosa, I have one thing to say to the people left in the game: I want to see you all play your damn hardest. And I want to see you play the game and face it’s twists and turns and I want to see everyone fight as hard as they can for this, because that’s exactly what I wanted to do. I want to see you guys respect the game but respect eachother, as players and as people more than the game. I’m gonna be voting for a winner by the end of all of this, and you can bet your ass I’m not gonna be voting for someone who didn’t play this game with respect.
Good luck to the players remaining in the game, and good luck to the community i have grown to love, i will miss it, and already miss what it was to me: a safe haven.