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miamidemoknight1984 said:
I can't unsee the bald dude at the bottom of that last post as anyone but Doug Walker.Cinema-Based YouTube Channels for those are are bored of watching white men yell and make poop jokes during a movie review, call themself out on it, & then bask in how “woke” they are:
- FoundFlix - Skits, movie endings/monsters explained, and spoiler-heavy content.
- Andre “Black” Nerd - Offers both Spoiler-Centric & Spoiler-Free Reviews. Was in N.C.s “Smurfs” review.
- Lindsay Ellis - “Nostalgia Chick.” Offers intricate, well-thought out oral essays about many different forms of media, including movies, musicals, and tropes. (Her latest piece was an hour-long look at The Hobbit trilogy.)
- CellSpex - Female Movie Reviewer, often concise & to-the-point.
- Chris Stuckmann - Similar to Lindsay, he offers deeply-considered, organized interpretations of otherwise “avant garde” movies.
- hbomberguy - Go Watch “Sherlock is Garbage and Here’s Why.”
- George Rockall-Schmidt - Lower budget movie reviewer, along the same lines of Lindsay & Chris.
- Pop Culture Detective - Best Known for the “Born Sexy Yesterday” video that’s floating around tumblr.
- Nostalgia Critic Quotes Starters
You know the deal. Feel free to change pronouns, add names to blanks, etc. There is some profanity in this one.
- “Why do they always want to do it the hard way?”
- “What can’t we do with an acre of land?”
- “We’re talking softly because it’ll upset the souffle?”
- “You know…like your head!”
- “You think you’re gonna get away from me, but you’re not, because it’s on.”
- “I’m sorry, but who thought this would be an exciting idea?”
- “This is even more exciting than that time I dangled keys in front of my own face!”
- “DON’T fall to the ground like a bloody corpse.”
- “Bad is rad and I’m ballistic!”
- “Oh, come on, it’s obvious. It’s so incredibly obvious.”
- “It’s junk food, brightly colored junk food for the mind.”
- “The orthodox levels on this are most un!”
- “Ah-ba-ba-ba, don’t tell me the problem, I only want to focus on the solution. I see…a banana. Use a banana.”
- “We are not on the same level as them! WE ARE HEALTHY!”
- “This looks like a job for flamboyance!”
- “Yeah! The opposite of what we saw before! The opposite of what we saw before! The opposite of what we saw before!”
- “Hey! You seem very…two-people-ish!”
- “Because that’s funny, right? Right? The correct answer is no.”
- “Punctuation is so wild!”
- “WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAAAAT?”
- “Clearly, we are dealing with artistic genius here!”
- “Please get in this evil device which is in no way an evil device. Joke’s on you; it’s an evil device.”
- “What do kids normally do? They make tofu or something?”
- “Stop it! Stop it! Stop trying to sound cool!”
- “All is lost.”
- “You’re so gosh darn wonderful.”
- “I’m sorry, ____. I like your place. It’s a nice looking place.”
- “I don’t care if it’s innocent and cutesy; it’s a piece of shit.”
- “But I don’t wanna laugh, I wanna get better.”
- “If its purpose was to bore the living shit out of us, I agree.”
- “You have to have one before you can lose it.”
- “Wait a minute, so you’re saying that if I jump aboard the bandwagon before it even becomes a bandwagon, I can be one of the frontrunners of the bandwagon?”
- “Redundant much, redundant?”
- “Was I really just a pawn in your lame-ass little punchline?”
- “Is this actually a popular thing and I just never noticed?”
- “My God…it’s full of shit.”
- “Put traffic cones around that apple juice; that shit is lethal!”
- “What is this, just another day at the store for you?”
- “Why are you being so blatant with how evil you are?”
- “Yeah, you know what’s living? Dying.”
- “No, wait, that’s not living. That’s…that’s fucking dying.”
- “I remember it so you don’t have to.”
- “You’re listening to frogs! It’s all a lie!”
- “I don’t know, it means I’m angry!”
- “Gee, does it have something to do with ice?”
- “I just wanna bring love and joy to the world.”
- “I haven’t been this shocked since I found out the secret to living a long lasting life…was breathing!”
- “You know, for kids!”
- “Start off with something innocent and lighthearted and then smash it down into cruel, cruel reality?”
- “I hear it’s a dictatorship where people disappear.”
- “Stay back; I think that’s real ketchup.”
- “That’s so out of the ordinary, I dare call it wacky.”
- “Get off my wet banana!”
- “B-B-B-Bullshit!”
- “Don’t encourage him. You’ll jiggy-jiggy regret it.”
- “Maybe you could start by getting out of the fucking bed.”
- “Well, that’s odd. It’s almost…normal.”
- “Gee, does THAT…SOUND…FAMILIAR?”
- “If we’re going through with this, I want to be prepared.”
- “Fucking bubbles!”
- “Inspire us! Say something stoic!”
- “Oh, by the way, we have to mail this to fifty or more people or else we get bad luck.”
- “I would LOVE to play a game with somebody!”
- “Fuck yeah, sparkle sparkle sparkle!”
- “If you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna take the occasional break to look at myself in front of the mirror and cry.”
- “Cause let me tell you, it’s not always easy.”
- “People may die, but stupidity is forever.”
- “Stop calling it that!”
- “So, your argument is…you fucked up, you’re glad you fucked up, and you will continue to fuck up in new and spectacular ways?”
- “I did not just hear that.”
- “Time for a game of disappearing brain cells!”
- “I think he drank the cactus juice or something.”
- “I thought I had these burned!”
- “My heart soars every time. The monotone. The absolute lack of any human emotion. The way he doesn’t even refer to her by her name.”
- “I just remember that it was weird and childish.”
- “I know that it’s just my opinion, but I’m right.”
- “I remember it…but I don’t wanna!”
- “Why do they always want to do it the hard way?”
This is old news now but the Nostalgia Critic’s abysmal review of The Wall reminds me of one of his old Disneycember vlogs when he reviewed Treasure Planet and he kept going on like “this doesn’t make sense there’s 18th century clothing and a Victorian era aesthetic but ALSO sci fi technology?? What is this it’s so confusing!!!” so essentially a major part of his criticism of the movie was just him not knowing what steampunk is
My dad went out a lot; that was his job, sort of like often going on business trips or something. One time we were going to some special convention and I was very excited. I was walking home at night and the Nostalgia Critic called my name from across the street. He was wearing a burgundy suit and top hat. He told me that my dad was busy so he asked him to drive me to the convention. I was surprised obviously because how did my dad know the Nostalgia Critic? He said that my dad sold him cocaine. I was super mad. I went to this convention and got in a fight with my dad. I asked him how he could do such a thing, etc. etc. and he was even more angry because he said it was the only way he could afford to send me and my brother to college and keep our family afloat. We even did some math to figure it out (this was all at a table in the convention food court with the Channel Awesome team around us and they were just chatting and doing cocaine).
I was watching a Nostalgia Critic review of the SpongeBob movie, but it was a very different version of the movie. I don’t remember a lot of the differences well, but what I definitely remember was that the Skull Knight from Berserk was in this version fairly prominently. I remember this, because the Critic was frustrated that he got so much screen time but didn’t actually contribute much to the plot.
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