Today’s Free Online PSA: This one is guaranteed to cause controversy.. or hysterical laughter and high fives.
We often hear about life and its rules from the woman’s point of view. Today, I share a list of Life Rules from the MALE perspective. The original list numbered each and every rule as #1. I adapted only so that we may ‘discuss’ specific ones as the mood arises.
Read on, ladies. Understand your men. Laugh in agreement or vehemently deny. Note this is not an attack on men OR women. It’s just funny. Trust me.
Men are not mind readers.
Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big
girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up. You need it down. You don’t hear
us complaining about you leaving it down.
Sunday sports… it’s like the full moon or the
changing of the tides. Let it be.
Crying is blackmail.
Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this
one. Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not
work. Just say it.
Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to
almost every questions.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help
solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your gfs are for.
Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in
an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t
If something we said can be interpreted two ways
and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
You can either ask us to do something or tell us
how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have
to say during commercials.
Christopher Columbus did not need directions.
Neither do we.
All men see in only 16 colors, like WINDOWS default
settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit. Not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.
If it itches, it will be scratched.
If we ask what is wrong and you say ‘nothing,’
we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not
worth the hassle.
If you ask a question you don’t want an answer
to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely
anything you wear is fine… really.
Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you
are prepared to discuss topics such as shooting, muscle cars, football, hockey,
drinking, or sex.
You have enough clothes.
You have too many shoes.
I am in shape. Round is a shape.
Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know I have
to sleep on the couch tonight.. but did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s