I had a dream about you and I.
We were still together and now I feel the bitterness and the softness of that desire, the innocence that comes from the desperation,
the struggle from being so hungry to barely keep the anger inside.
You were there, laughing with me for something I said. You were always laughing, I was always there to catch the sound of your voice.
I remember “everything is alright”, I remember “keep me safe”, I remember “you will be forever mine”
and now I understand that your words were a statement of war and not a promise.
And I remember “I will”.
I was happy. Was I?
And then, suddenly, I was ready to leave you but you were laughing again.
When I left you, in that dream, I became invisible, now aware about our end and I crawled back to you.
Now you were smiling without anyone to notice, without knowing I was noticing, and I remember “how cruel is his beauty”.
I pressed my lips against yours just to feel something again. Do you know, I remember “please, do not let this happen, do something”.
The day that I left you was the day that I loved you the most.
The day that I fell, when I rebelled, when you decided that humanity was more lovable than me,
I knew it was,
My rebellion was against our love. So fragile, so fragile.
I wish I was human so you could have caressed me again.
Even if I liked to think that love – at least love! - would have conquered us, my Dear, I knew that something as vulnerable as me, as unstable as you, would have died under your kingdom.