• I calculated the size of the Land of Ooo

Everything in this post is derived from a single line spoken by BMO during Imaginary Resources. When Finn asks BMO to perform a search for Susan, BMO reports that she is “32.7 miles east of here”. At this time, Finn and BMO are on Better Reality Island and Susan is on the abandoned Hub Island.

So first things first, we need to establish which islands are which. Here is a handy map (drawn by Alva during Mysterious Island) on which I have annotated the islands according to the following evidence:

The island in the southwest is the first island Alva draws, which means it is reasonable to assume that this is their current location, Back-to-Nature Island. Additionally, this is the furthest island from the mainland, so it makes sense that it would be the last one the humans attempted to colonise. For similar reasons, the northeast island is most likely Founders’ Island. This also most closely resembles the island on the transport ship’s chart seen in The Invitation. This means the remaining two islands are Better Reality Island and Hub Island, and we already know that Hub Island is to the east of Better Reality Island thanks to BMO’s statement.

In Imaginary Resources, Finn and Jake arrive in the south of BR Island from Back-to-Nature Island. By re-orientating the above map and overlaying it onto the transport’s navigation map from The Invitation, I can draw a straight east-west line between the south of Better Reality Island and the north of the abandoned Hub Island, where Susan is waiting on the beach in Hide and Seek. As BMO said, these two points are 32.7 miles apart, which I’ve rounded to 30 for the sake of simplicity.

That extra sticky-out bit on Founders’ Island is probably a result of Alva’s poor cartography skills. Alternatively, it could be an artificial extension to the island which was not built until after Alva left.

Now, it becomes possible to calculate any other distance between two points in Ooo. Here’s the official map of the Land of Ooo (taken from The Adventure Time Encyclopaedia) with the calculated distance key added:

In the raw image, one mile is equal to five pixels, but Tumblr’s compression will probably cause that to be different on your end. Here’s a link to the raw image in case you want to make your own measurements.

Here are some measurements I took:

• The width of the Land of Ooo, from easternmost point to westernmost point of the mainland, is about 280 miles (450 km).
• The height of the continent, from the tip of the Ice Kingdom to the southernmost point of the Desert Lands, is about 240 miles (390 km)
• The distance from the Tree Fort to the Candy Kingdom is about 46 miles (74 km). Finn and Jake must make use of Jake’s shapeshifting to make the journey in a reasonable amount of time.
• The distance from the Tree Fort to the Ice Kingdom is about 28 miles (45 km).
• The distance from the Tree Fort to the Fire Kingdom is about 100 miles (160 km).
• The distance from the coast of Ooo to Founders’ Island is about 210 miles (340 km). Assuming a good speed of 5 knots, it would take a sailboat like the Sugar Spit about 36 hours to make the journey, although the Sugar Spit obviously got a boost from Whipple.

Just for fun, here’s a quick comparison showing the Land of Ooo alongside the US and the UK:

There are rounding errors at every stage, so don’t use this as absolute precise proof of the size of the Land of Ooo.

This is something I’ve wanted to do for a while, and it was good fun. Hope you enjoyed.

• Beauty standards in Ooo

How did the princesses found this guy “approachable”? is he really handsome? or are just beauty standards in Ooo pretty skewed?

Perhaps Nice King is mega attractive on Ooo’s view of dudes.

For all we know, Lemongrab might be the pinnacle of male beauty on Ooo.

Look at those beautiful eyes.

That grossed out expression is absolutely hot.

They look pretty as pimps.

He’s great taste in fashion, those glasses.

Beautiful

• Imagine a theme park based on Adventure Time's Land of Ooo
• Extent of Damage to Earth

This zoomed out image of earth only shows for a split second in “The Real You”, but as you can see, there’s a huge chunk of the world missing.

Parts of an entire city are underwater in “Ocean of Fear”.

It seems the seas were also effected. In “The Other Tarts,” when Jake and Finn pass through the Desert of Doom, whale bones and ships are clearly seen.

Ships and whales.

Finn and Jake walk through the head of a whale.

Did the nuclear damage blow off a piece of the earth? Did rapid climate change revert cities to be at sea level, and seas into deserts?

• I think Adventure Time is hope.

Think about it, Ooo is a beautiful and diverse place. Ooo was born from the remains of a dead world.

Simon and Marcy wasn’t all about sadness, it was about hope of a better future. Simon wanted Marceline to have a better life, and she did.

The first post is going to be a few quick screenshots of the Opening Theme, a pretty obvious indicator of the Mushroom War.

This now-iconic opening shot embodies everything the land of Ooo is riddled with: Nuclear weapons, zombies, melee weapons, ‘human junk’, and even a mutated skull. It’s clear that there are many layers to what’s going on.

Perhaps my favorite thing about the Mushroom War is that it seems to have gone through many phases after the initial nuclear bombing. The whole series is filled with arrows and swords, indicated that perhaps after the bombs fell, humans went back to more primitive methods of war. I could see the last of the humans duking it out with arrows and rocks. It reminds me of a famous Einstein quote, 'I do not know with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones’. It’s clear from Finn’s lifestyle that melee weapons are still in favor, and from the fact that there isn’t much electricity to go around. Anything non-living is usually powered by 'magic’.

• Random Adventure Time theories that came to my head while in the shower

-Ice King was human before the crown corrupted him. Finn is supposedly the last human. Are they somehow related?
-The only two languages that seem to have survived the Mushroom War are Korean and English. Does this imply that the nuclear war which let to Earth becoming Ooo was between North Korea and the US?
-Why exactly would human languages survive a thousand years into the future, where humans themselves are almost extinct and the world is populated by mutated species?

…Maybe I’ve become too invested in a show where the majority of the characters are sentient pieces of candy.

• Day dreaming in the orange grove 🍊

DA: 4C00-0132-E7BC

• # THIS IS A CALLOUT POST TO THE CREATORS OF ADVENTURE TIME

how dare you guys give fern the best story arch all in one episode and then kill him and make me cry how FUCKING dare you fern deserved nothing but the best he deserved the world how fucking DARE THOU IM MAD

• So I was just rewatching an episode of The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack the other day when it hit me: Flapjack and Adventure Time take place in the SAME UNIVERSE.

Think about it. Adventure Time is a post-apocalyptic world with a huge hole in it, filled with strange mutated and magical creatures and talking animals and ruled by a kingdom where everything is literally made out of candy.

The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack takes place on an island in the middle of a massive ocean surrounded by nothing but other tiny islands, an ocean populated with strange mutated and magical creatures and talking animals and who’s culture obsesses over a “Candied Island” where everything is literally made out of candy.

Get it yet? Flapjack takes place on the OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD, a region that was flooded by the Mushroom War but which was far enough away from the blast that humans managed to survive. Sailors have made it as far as the Candy Kingdom and returned to tell about it, but living in an island based society they’d have no word for a continent other than “island”, so they just called it an island made of candy.

This post brought to you by: my friend

• City Remains

As mentioned in my last post, there’s an entire city underwater in “Ocean of Fear”. What other episodes show remnants of Earth’s cities?

The episode “Heat Signature” offers a couple of hints. The title card shows a background of a burned out city, with Finn sitting on an old billboard.

The ghosts in “Heat Signature” take Finn and Jake to the top of an old beat up hospital. There’s a landing pad on top with a wrecked helicopter.

Another scene from “Heat Signature”.