June 17, 2020: Morning
I’ve been at it about six years, and I am a product of the lessons found in this community, and the experiences given to me by my subs and our local community of kinky friends. My impression of BDSM for most of my life was full of leather and pain and dungeons, and I never dug into it any further, until I was into my 40s.
The lifestyle is about the exploration of power, very primal power dynamics found throughout nature, by people who have a passion for relationships, and an appetite for sex.
At the core of it all, is consent. No one gets beat, without consent. No one tells someone what to do without it. All the relationships and activities are built around it. That understanding took a lot of the darkness out of my first impression.
Once you learn about and understand submission and submissives, more darkness clears away. It’s ok to put someone you love and trust in charge of you. It’s a beautiful thing to give your choices and personal evolution over to someone who wants to help you be the best you that you are able to be. That is what a dominant does. That is my role.
The final block of darkness for me was the pain. Understanding and accepting that there are huge numbers of people for whom pain brings pleasure, and for whom receiving impact is the highest expression of vulnerability and commitment.
So now the darkness is gone amidst words like nature, passion, consent, trust, vulnerability, and commitment. I see the lifestyle through a very different lens than 40 year old me did. It took time for me to sort it all out, first finding it though, but it’s become what I intend to feature in my life going forward. I hope you find a similar journey out of the darkness, and I hope this helps to put you on the road that leads you out.