i may be a closed off person but i will never surpass the level that jake gyllenhaal was on when he replied “There are some things I keep to myself, that are my business…” when asked what type of sandwich he ate
Imagine getting married with Jake in secret and revealing it during an interview with him after lots of hints and teasing from your friend, and costar, Ryan.
“Hello. My name is (Y/n) (Y/l/n) and I’m here to read… your memes. The ones you’ve made for the movie “Life”. And comment on them.” you started saying looking at the camera before adding with a grin “Shoot this has to be the most weird and awkward intro you’ll ever have on this section, I swear. And you chose me to make the first video- oh wow it will be such a success you guys! Just wait for-”
“No, no! Nope, hold up! Just a minute! ‘Xcuse me! Excuse me, coming through! Coming. Right. Through. I’m-” you heard the familiar voice of the man you loved more than anyone in the world and no longer than a second later you saw Jake, holding a chair, quickly made his way towards you. Setting it next to yours he sat and smiled right back at the camera before he finally said “Here.”
“J what are you-” you started in surprise “You- you’re here to read memes too?”
“Yeah, I mean why not?” he looked at you with an adorable smile “It’s gonna be cool! Besides, they’re about the movie, aren’t they? We could have some fun!” he looked back at the camera but you gave him a funny look.
“You don’t even-” you started, blinking rapidly before shaking your head with a laugh “Jakey come on, do you even know what a meme is?”
“It’s- Uhm it’s- Something that should be-” he started stuttering, his smile fluttering a bit as he looked with the confusion that you were only able to find adorable; he then looked between you and the camera as if asking for help “Something that we… can read. And put on cards, sometimes- you know, big enough like these and- and we-” and then a small noise came from his throat that just made you burst in laughter.
“Ok, ok I’m old and totally clueless. This is not my thing ok? I just-” he shook his head “Bear with me please.”
Imagine Tom accidentally spoiling that your boyfriend, Jake, has plans to propose to you and already has bought an engagement ring.
“Acting is on its own a tough profession but one must admit each movie is different and does demand more things from you. Especially a superhero one, has even more demands. And you as actors need to be able to live up to the expectations and demands of this job.” the interviewer said and both Jake and Tom nodded their heads “So my question is, was there a scene that was particularly hard to film and you felt like demanded more from you as actors than any other one?”
“Oh you’re playing a very dangerous game there, I’m warning you!” Jake said with a grin, grabbing his coffee to take a sip as he glanced at Tom “Are you sure you want him to answer that one? Because if you do, let me go right ahead and say: Spoiler Warning! Proceed with caution!”
“Come on, dude.” Tom laughed although deep down he too was scared something might slip. It was this kind of questions that he really was scared of “Have some faith in me!”
jade and jake are complete opposites pop culture wise…like jake makes it his mission to learn everything about every single celebrity Ever and talk about it endlessly meanwhile jade messages john one day like “can you please tell me who barack obama is dave keeps talking about him and i’m so lost”
Imagine during a game in an interview your costar and good friend, Tom, accidentally revealing that Jake has feelings for you and has been meaning to ask you out for a long time.
“Uhm super cool, super famous for this character, acts a lot like that character. Is- is really funny. You hang out with him a lot.” Jake tried to say as fast as he could, making sure to glance down at the words he couldn’t use right before glancing at the clock ticking. He loved games during interviews but this did seems like the most stressful one of the entire day.
“Like a lot of time! In- in your previous movie. In that movie you’d spent a lot of time with-”
“Jacob Batalon! Jacob! J-” Tom said just as fast but Jake shook his head.
“No, no. Not Jacob. He’s a lot like- like his character. He is his character. I’ve- I’ve worked before with him in a movie! I’ve worked with him!” he emphasized as much as he could but all Tom did was stare at him with parted lips and an awkward smile because he couldn’t get it. “Oh my God.” Jake shook his head “Come on you know him. You- you admire him a lot, you look up to him!”
“Samuel… L Jackson?” Tom asked tentatively in an almost squeaky voice and instantly laughed when Jake gave him a blank face.
Imagine having the ‘Wired Autocomplete Interview’ with Jake and seeing all the things people have googled about him and you, only to find more ways to flirt with him and tease him.
“Hello, I’m Jake Gyllenhaal.” the man smiled at the camera for the intro.
“And I’m (Y/n) (Y/l/n).” you introduced yourself the same way with a smile while adding “And we’re doing a wired-”
“Autocomplete.” Jake added without you even having to look at him.
“Interview.” you ended, your smile getting even bigger when you heard Jake chuckle next to you, already knowing what was on his mind “This is like the perfect intro for us. You wouldn’t even need to tell us, we complete each other’s sentences on a daily basis like some-”
“Some old married couple. As Ryan says.” Jake completed your sentence once more with a nod of his head.
“Well, at least one of us is old enough, so-” you only shrugged, looking completely serious at the camera and without even having to glance at the blue-eyed man next to you, you knew he was giving you a look so in the end you burst in laughter.
my ideal scenario, personally, for jake coming out as bi would be a cold open (i feel like it wouldn’t have to be the focus of a whole ep since he’s a lot more open about his sexuality than, say, rosa) where jake casually mentions he’s bi (possibly while listing things that he and rosa have in common) and everyone @ the precinct is like “what!?” (except amy, who already knows) and jakes like yeah, i thought you guys knew that already? and they’re all like “no we most certainly did not—well, we suspected it but were waiting for you to figure it out” and jakes like “no i’ve known for a long time, i could’ve sworn i’d already come out” and then it turns out he straight up forgot to come out to his friends because plot twist, he also has adhd