“Hurr hurr, why do you watch so many kids’ movies when you’re not a ki–”
Look. Just because a piece of media is intended for a young audience doesn’t automatically mean it’s immature or lacking in artistic clout. Kids’ shows and movies have to pack an emotional punch without being *~edgy~*. They can’t use gratuitous violence and sudden death to get a reaction out of us. They have to dig deep, find emotions that are universal, and hit us with something real. That limitation actually breeds creativity. It forces content creators to look inward, and it gives us shows like Steven Universe and Avatar the Last Airbender.
And movies like Up, Inside Out, and The Lion King that aren’t good kids’ movies.
What she means: In the movie Inside Out, Riley’s dad had all male emotions and her mom had all female emotions. Rather than following this pattern, Riley had both female and male emotions. The only explanation for this incontinuity is that Riley is canonically nonbinary.
One thing I’ve realized with Coco: some of the characters I’ve loved the most from Pixar are the ones that are known by Tv Tropes as “Sad Clowns”.
In the movie you’ve got a character that acts very bouncy, upbeat and cheerful, always with an optimistic attitude and a smile on their face…
…and yet, as the movie progresses, you begin to discover their tragic predicaments, just how much past events are affecting them, and how much they fear being forgotten by their beloved ones. Suddenly you realize that their smile is really their way of coping: should that smile falter, should they hit rock bottom and lose hope of things ever getting better, well…
my roommate and i were talking about this and i hyperfixated. I included child characters which had speaking rolls and were at least side characters. If I left one out I don’t care. Also i didn’t include teenagers/princesses/love interests. Just the kids
It’s all subjective but i am right.
Pinocchio: disgusting puppet homunculi. I hate his weird knees. But I do like that he escapes a whale, it shows a will to live. I both respect and fear him. 4/10
Dumbo: Sweet and beautiful. Tragic backstory. Defies physics. Got Drunk. Love him with all my heart. But that CGI remake was gross so i subtracted 2 points. 8/10
Bambi: Beautiful and bland. would be a good instagram model. 5/10
Alice: embodies the “I just came out to have a good time and i’m honestly feeling very attacked right now” meme. enjoyable protagonist. 8/10
Peter Pan: kidnaps children. But seems fun. kind of a fuckboi. 6/10
Wendy: The mom friend that stands up for herself. deserved better. when she walks off that plank, fuckin iconic. 9/10
101+ dalmation puppies: Are puppies. but i can’t remember a single one of them. also can just multiply? themselves? 3/10 for magic
Arthur: complained to much. I liked him better as a squirrel. 1/10
Mogli: had fun on road trip with his 2 dads. easily sidetracked and hypnotized. 6/10 for jungle ADHD
Aristocats Kittens: Annoying but passable. A+ mom and stepdad parents. Overall 3/10
The little girl from The Rescuers: Apparently her name is penny. I hate her stupid voice. If there wasn’t boobs in this movie we would have all forgotten it. 1/10
The little boy from The Rescuers 2: Apparently his name is cody. He’s dumb but wonderful. a Himbo in training. 7/10 for australian
Oliver: The worst cat. Also apparently there is a human child in this too. Both have empty, soulless eyes. 3/10
Huey Dewey and Louie: Imagine donald duck but worse and 3. Disney will pay for their crimes. -3/10
The scary kids from Nightmare before Christmas: I hate them. -5/10
Baby Simba: Confidence is key. “Dad… we gotta go home” makes me cry everytime. Adopted by gay dads. 7/10 for lion hamlet
Max: I know he’s a teenager but i want everyone to know how wonderful he is. Such a dork, I love him. 8/10 after today is a bop
Andy: honestly horrifying in Toy Story 1. could not care less about him. 10/10 glow up but 2/10 character.
Sid: The worst thing ever shown in theaters. Millions went blind. I would kill him in cold blood. -11/10
James: claymation is gross. 2/10 for being british tho
WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF VIRGIL HAD TO TAKE CARE OF KIDS
LIKE IF ALL THE EMOTIONS PATTON HAD CONTROL OVER WERE ACTUALLY CHILDREN AND ONLY THE DARK SIDES KNEW ABOUT THEM.
WELL THIS IS WHAT WOULD HAPPEN
Virgil, sighing at the rather obnoxious teens he has to look after from the couch during their movie night: Confidence you can’t just declare what movie we’re watching and expect everyone to agree with you.
Confidence:*making an offended face* GASP I am OFFENDED. Of course I can declare that! I can declare anything.
Joy: Come on Con-man *high fives himself* , you gotta chose something HAPPY at least. Right Dep?
Depression/Sadness: *faceplanting on the couch with a loud sigh* do whatever the hell you guys want. We’re all gonna die eventually.
Disgust, amused from his place at the whiteboard where they’re all voting what movie to watch: Great. Well Dep, I’m gonna but you down as ‘bummer’. *writes Depressions name under the hummer category* and you can hang out there all by yourself.
Anger: *ripping off their headphones with a grumble so everyone can hear the music blasting* I will rip out all your throats and force you to eat each other’s tongues.
Virgil, blinking at him: Anger, you can’t just threaten to maim people it’s not okay.
Anger, rolling their eyes: REMUS does it.
Virgil: Remus is a bad influence.
Remus: *popping up next to Joy and making him smile* Dang Virgie and here I thought we had something special! I should of known you’d be a… STICK IN THE MUD.
Virgil: *giving him a confused look* what..?
Deceit: *walking in and sitting next to Anger who accepts it* I’ve learned to tune it out. What are we watching?