Okay, so hear me out fam.
Qrow owns a Lush-style store where they make and sell organic, handmade soap, scrubs, masks and bath bombs and stuff.
One day Ironwood is dragged there as a pack mule for Glynda to buy preeeetty things and is kinda struck by Qrow’s blaaaazing hotness. Qrow, however assumes that Ironwood is dating Glynda or is at least really into her, because why else would he follow her around like a lost puppy? But really it’s cause James is that friend who auto caves in when you bully them into helping you out. Very mushy mushy. He just doesn’t look like it.
And then Penny’s birthday comes up, so Ironwood decides it’s a good idea to go back to the store to buy a gift for her and he kinda subtly flirts with Qrow. And Qrow picks up on it but is very ???? and confused because he thought James was straight/taken/infatuated with Glynda. But he’s still friendly towards him.
Then Ironwood accidentally wanders into the store again and lies and says he’s looking for a gift basket for a friend. And eventually everyone from his secretary (Winter) to his wayward friends (Ozpin) ends up with one of these gift baskets while Qrow just thinks, wow, man this guy must majorly pamper his girlfriend and goes and sulks in a corner.
At some point:
- Qrow has a bad day and tells Ironwood about his issues, the story of the shop and the orignal owner, Summer’s death.
- Ironwood seems really tired one day, so Qrow suggest he uses some of the stuff he buys instead of giving it away and recommends him some of the stress relief, relaxation stuff (cause Jimmy has eyebags in every universe).
- Qrow whines to Tai about how deep he’s into this guy
- Ironwood whines to Glynda about how fucked he is
- Glynda gets really fed up with this so she marches up to Qrow and tells him to get into Ironwood’s pants.
- Realising that this is why Ironwood blushes so much around him, Qrow decides to have fun with this and puts on his flirting pants and I-will-fluster-you cape.
- idk they get their shit together and go out to dinner and canoodle in the store storage room or something and smell like lavender and seaweed after.
P.s. Ruby gets to work there legally because in Aussieland child labour is legal if you’re 14 Years and 9 months and I play by my rules, suckers. I could cite the fact that there’s not nearly enough adults to populate this fic and that’s why I’m endorsing Ruby-labour but really it’s because I want to read/write Ruby telling people “YOU SHOULD TRY THIS IT’LL MAKE YOU SMELL NICE >:D”.
P.p.s the Schnee household is filled with bath bombs because Weiss get all the fails that Ruby tries to make and Winter keeps getting gift baskets shoved onto her whenver Ironwood comes back from a lunch break.
Idk I tried.