One year ago. I’d trade my life to tell you stories now...
I was talking with this lady the other day and she told me that whenever she’s feeling upset, her husband says, “Wanna play Mario Kart?” (This is an older couple), and then she just destroys him until she feels good.
Imagine being a comfort to others by simply being terrible at Mario Kart.
so in seventh grade, we got a new science teacher that was really strict because the students were crazy in her class, and one day this guy was reading from his textbook and said “orgasm” instead of “organism” and the entire class just sat there laughing their asses off and so did the teacher and she screamed “I’M NOT SUPPOSED TO LAUGH AT THAT STAHP IT”
my dad was an army medic for a time and i would like to share one of his stories with you:
“So, when we were giving shots, we’d have them all line up and them give each guy the option of sittin down. We’d ask ‘em, “You need to sit down?” and each one of them would shake their heads, yknow, cause--” *gruff voice* “‘I’m in the ARMY.’
“And then you give them the shot, and plunk! They’ve fainted. Cause, yknow, they didn’t like needles. You know how many guys hurt their heads cause they couldn’t admit they needed a chair? A lot. So now everybody sits in the chair.”
One time in 5th grade my mom made me do tennis lessons. One of the days, we were practicing doubles tennis, and the kid who was supposed to be my partner just......ran away. It was in the middle of the match too. He was gone for like 5 whole minutes and when he came back he said he was goin to the bathroom. There wasn’t even a bathroom in the barren open field that we were playing in. I still think about this.
Teacher: (smiling brightly) I have annoncement!
Hyper Blondie: (points at the teacher) YOU'RE GETTING A DIVORSE!
Teacher: (With concerned eyes) Eh, no..........
So as a distraction from all the shit going going on I’ll provide a funny story that’ll hopefully make someone laugh today.
A few years ago I had this math teacher that loves to do projects during our graphing unit. One of the projects involved coloring our graph. Being the idiots that we were, we decided to do something stupid with two packs of colored pencils.
I have extremely thick and curly hair and we (my friends and I) wanted to see how many colored pencils we could stick in my hair before any fell out. Before we could start this kid tossed a calculator to his friend but it missed and hit me. It got stuck in my hair but we left it since it didn’t fall and proceeded to stick two packs of colored pencils in my hair.
Nothing fell out and they all stayed in. My teacher thought it was hilarious and took a picture of me. We took out the colored pencils after that but the calculator got stuck when we tried to take it out. A friend of mine tried to take untangle it but his hand got stuck in my hair too. It took a few minutes but we got his hand and the calculator unstuck. That was a fun math class.
Anyway hope y’all laughed at my stupid story 😂
✩THE BLUE ANGELS✩ ❤SOME STORIES TO TELL❤
Title:🎁🎄Special Solstice🎄🎁(Christmas parody)
Moon:Hello everyone,welcome to the special solstice (Christmas parody) this story that I decided to do with creativity and madness hehe,on this day December 24, also this day I decided to publish it on this special day,it is a special day to start this story¿Don't you think it's fantastic, dear reader? With nothing more to say,get ready to dive into a long story but with humor and fun so ... let's start the story!
One of the weird little positives that I have experienced in this pandemic:
I am very privileged to have been working remotely this whole year. I have coworkers that I have literally never met in person after 9 months of knowing them. One of them is also a fellow queer and nonbinary trans person so we immediately clocked each other. But since we worked in different programs and were only ever in large group zooms, we couldn’t even give each other the head nod of queer acknowledgement. So we starting drinking coffee on zoom once a week together on Fridays and sharing memes. When I left that job in September they started texting me memes instead and now we have Meme Fridays. Each week I save every meme I think they would enjoy and send it to them on Friday and they do the same. It is seriously one of my favorite parts of the week. I know people make internet friends without meeting all the time, but it just makes me smile.
y’al know that one Dope Island vine where it’s like, (found the video: this one)
“Dad! I just had sex!”
“Son that’s great! Come- come here and sit down!”
and then the son is like, “I can’t my ass still hurts”
think this, but Tony and Peter.
Story Sharing with the Clones
So, this was something I’ve been thinking about a lot. I have a ton of weird-ass stories, some of them happening in real life, some of them just really crazy dreams. I think telling clones some really weird and random stories would make their day.
I will share two (please excuse some of the way I describe things):
First Story was something that actually happened in real life: So, I was visiting my friends in America (I used to live there for 22 years) last year in the summer. Me and friend were visiting another friend at her house. She brought down her bearded dragon to chill with us. While he was with us, we tried feeding him, but he wouldn’t eat. So, beardie’s owner decided that, since it was a nice day out, we should put him in some shallow water in a kiddie pool. And so we did. And beardie is just chill’n, drinking some of the water, swims around a bit. Then, his rear end just starts wiggling in the water, and this long sausage of a poop comes floating out. And all three of us were cracking up, because none of us had ever seen a lizard poop before, and it was really funny how he pooped.
Second Story is a combo of dream and reality: In my dream, I was a dragon that was in a Zombie Apocalypse scenario. Which was really cool. Anyway, sometime during the dream, I had to fight Frankenstein's monster (don’t ask me why, I don’t always understand half the stuff my brain conjures up) and I got inside a building, the door closing behind me. I turn around, and the door is being smashed down, so I take a deep breath, getting ready to breath fire-- And wake up trying to breath fire onto my bed. Just pushing myself up on my hands and knees, and making a noise similar to what Smaug makes in the Hobbit Trilogy when he breaths fire, trying to set my bed on fire with my fire-breath that I didn’t actually have. After registering what I was doing, I sat there, wondering what the hell just happened, flopped back down, and went back to sleep.
Yeah. I have a lot more stories where those came from. I remember a lot of weird stuff. Way better than I can remember stuff for school. Probably because my brain considers the weird stuff good stories to entertain people with while school stuff (like memorising Quadratic Formulas) is deemed unimportant and lost forevermore.
I don’t know. Thought it’d be fun to share some crazy stories and wondering what the clone troopers would think.
Anyway, any of you Clone Trooper fans got some weird and crazy stories to share? Let’s make each other laugh and share some bizarreness.
And if anyone who wasn’t tagged would like to share, feel free and go right ahead!