Dunkin has a new holiday monstrosity. It’s called the Sugarplum Macchiato. Already I take issue with it because the iced one is clearly made with coffee, not espresso, and anyway look:

Yes, the bottom half is fucking purple.

I took my first swig of it as it was thus presented to me, and thereby added a line item to my lifelong list of Regrets. It tasted of vengeance berries and sad dairy and sugar.

I vigorously swirled and stirred with the straw to mix in the coffee and discovered no it is espresso actually it just had literally zero crema so I’m pretty sure they just made a bunch of advance espresso and chilled it or something. It now tastes of the sweet bitterness of those aforementioned berries never getting their vengeance.

F++, will not buy again but at least I’ll be caffeinated today