This is going to be out of character-ish for this blog but I think it’s so important to talk about right now.
Recently it came to light that a professor at my school, though not my department, has some bigoted old fashioned views. We live in 2019. Just making that clear.
Women belong in academia.
It’s honestly so disheartening to know that there are still people out there that will use their faith to spew that kind of prejudice and bigotry, let alone someone who is in a position as influential as a professor. We have had to fight too hard for too long to get to where we are today and we’re still not on equal ground.
There is a grand total of 12 women in my engineering program for my year and it drops every semester.
In light of this professors’ views, we’ve all decided to swap stories around the lunch table. Most of us have had anything we say blown off, been talked over, looked down on, talked to like we’re stupid by our peers. We have the weight on our shoulders to prove that we are strong enough to be in this line of study just so we can be taken seriously. Women make up half the population but we are less than 10% of our major. We regularly fight off imposter syndrome as well as people around us and society muttering under their breaths that we’re not good enough, that we don’t deserve to be where we are.
You don’t get to pass that off as a joke or “just your opinion”. I’ve met several young girls that say they want to go into science or technology only to quickly follow it up with a discouraging comment about not knowing if they’re smart enough. I regularly have to encourage and remind my fellow female engineers as well as myself that we do belong in this program and we do deserve to pursue our interests and passions.
That’s just engineering, there are so many other fields where women are thought of as second class participants. Computer science, medicine, business, law, finance, mathematics, and the list goes on.
Women are doing great things.
Support each other, lift each other up, and be decent.
To be confident you need to be a self sufficient individual in ALL aspects, from your finances, personal growth and self sufficient in your self esteem (others opinions of you have little to no relevancy on how you view yourself, your self-perception comes entirely from within).
A confident woman stands up for what she believes in and is not easily persuaded from her opinions or values by people. She doesn’t worry about pleasing others but about getting her business done and making sure her presence is felt, regardless of who likes it or not. She owns and takes space without being overbearing. She is on top of her game and is constantly looking for ways to outgrow the person she was the day before.
Confident women are quiet, they don’t feel the need to call the attention or announce their moves because they have nothing to prove, she relies on her internal knowing that she is capable of achieving the goals in her life and the applause of an audience is not needed.
A confident woman is proactive on keeping her physical appearance very polished, from the way she dresses to her commitment to being fit and healthy, not in an attempt to attract attention, but as a way of improving herself because she knows that her sense of self will be higher is she looks and feels good.
A confident woman has a resilient mentality, if she falls, she stands back up. If she feels distressed, she gets her emotions out and allows herself to feel all the emotions that make her human, but after that she’s ready to move on and not allow her sentiments to overpower her rationale.
Confident women aren’t easily impressed, they know their worth and who they are, so they expect others to impress them, the power dynamics are usually in their favor.
Confident women are intellectually proficient, they read and are masters of different subjects. They know that their brain is one of their main assets, so they keep pushing themself to exercise their intellect by learning new things constantly.
I could go on and on, but these are the things that come to my mind at the moment 💗.
“Choice feminism” replaced “consumer feminism”, but the two ultimately come down to the same thing: that is, if a woman does something of her own free will – whether it’s pole-dancing or buying shoes – then it’s a feminist act. And more than ever, it’s not only about feminism; it’s about empowering the woman as an individual. When one woman casts judgment on another woman, according to today’s feminism, she is behaving worse than a misogynist man. The problem with this approach is that it leads to a great big pile of nothing. The suggestion that women should unthinkingly celebrate one another purely out of sisterly feeling is about as patronizing as the idea that women shouldn’t trouble their brains with opinions. Feminists who query whether things such as prostitution, pole-dancing or larking about naked while being filmed by self-described “pervert” Terry Richardson (as Miley Cyrus did for her video Wrecking Ball) are really empowering themselves are shouted down as angry anti-sex harridans. When Kardashian tweeted a topless selfie last month, she claimed that she was empowered by her sexuality and, thus – via the media of her iPhone and her breasts – she was striving to “encourage the same empowerment for girls and women all over the world”. Anyone who queried this philosophy was shouted down as an out-of-date loser who encouraged “body-shaming”.
Empowerment has become the cover for doing whatever the hell you like. It is a self-created safe space: as long as you say you are empowered, anyone who complains is trying to oppress you. So maybe the easiest way to deal with the kinds of arguments raised by choice feminism is to end with this simple truth: while the ability to choose is feminist, that doesn’t mean the choice itself is. Buying shoes is not a strike against the patriarchy. Telling other women to shut up online is not a feminist act. Tweeting photos of your boobs is not empowering the world. But the biggest irony about empowerment is not just how utterly meaningless – disempowered, I guess – it has become as a term, but how those who claim to feel it and those to whom it is sold are the ones who need it least. It is no surprise that I see so many adverts promising empowerment, because I am precisely the kind of person to whom empowerment is now marketed: white, thirtysomething, educated, middle class with disposable income. I don’t need to be empowered anymore than Kardashian does. Only those already in possession of quite a lot of power would feel empowered by leggings, or a TED talk, or naked selfies. Empowerment has become not only a synonym for self-indulgent narcissism, but a symbol of how identity politics can too often get distracted by those with the loudest voices and forget those most in need of it.
I have the agency to determine how much I’m worth and placing my requirements and standards as high as I please. I’m Couture, I’m highly coveted and represent walking luxury. I enrich any place I walk in, my presence has an essence of its own. I’m an asset, an expression of quality and excellence. I don’t worry about impressing others, others worry about impressing me. I put effort in setting myself apart from mediocrity. I’m a high end brand, and only a select few can have access to me.
Honestly it’s so so important to take a break now and then and realize how far you’ve come and just look in the mirror and say to yourself with complete honesty & utter shamelessness that you’re PROUD of you and all that you’ve achieved so far. Never compare your path with someone else’s (remember darling that there’s no other you in this whole world!), because in truth everything is relative and a social construct, we live on a swirling celestial body in a human-made system so why not live in one of your own? You define, design and create your path, and isn’t that such a joyful thing to do?
I for one get so excited when I visualize my dreamlife and all its aspects as I bring them to life! It’s exciting to mentally design the house of my dreams as if I’m playing a game, it’s uplifting to imagine sitting in my garden drinking tea with the love of my life watching the sunset with piano music swooning in the background… It’s all a game, nevermind all the nonsense rules.
Truly what lies at the root of why you don’t want to reach out towards materializing your greatest wishes? What lies at the root of that fear? It’s judgement, isn’t it, we’ve all been so socialized to prioritize being obedient and like-minded when it comes to this universal mind of society, but remember that society was never built in order to have individuals serve it; true organic healthy communities function by designing society to serve the individual, not the other way around. I keep hearing, reading and hearing“everything you desire is on the other side of fear” and you know what, it’s true. Because the other side is acceptance, love, embracing who you are, embracing what you really want for yourself, in other words… honoring yourself.
Shout out to silent girls and women. Girls and women who struggle with anxiety and speaking out, girls and women who are just now learning to stand up for themselves and navigating through the complicated emotions that come with that.
We have to replace positive mindset with empowered mindset. The mindset where we are willing to see different and higher perspective of a situation, a perspective from which our power comes from our ability to see differently and therefore make different choices.
Fucking hell I just watched Iliza Shlesinger: Unveiled and here are some of my favorite quotes
You liking another woman because she’s there is not mandated. It’s not feminism, it’s communism
One woman’s affirmation of her life choices is not the negation of your existence. Be better than that.
I don’t like the notion that because I’m a woman and it’s tradition, my vision of a current situation, let alone an important one, should ever be obfuscated in the name of tradition, expectation, or fashion
You can be pro-woman without being anti-man. We have to adjust that, okay? My motivation has never been to shit on men. My motivation is to shit on everyone and together we rise. Like a shit Phoenix
Shitty Men don’t like it as women age and I gotta believe it’s less about the fact that you’re older and it’s more about the fact that when you’re older you don’t put up with bullshit and they don’t like it
We are here and exist. We are not evil. We are not wannabes. We exist and we practice our magic wholeheartedly. Our affliation with Demons does NOT invalidate us. Demons are not what you think nor is our religion.
Suck my dick if you think otherwise, I won’t sit here and bark at brick walls over tumblr. I rather be building my power.
I just want to tell some of you ladies that personality and how you act is everything. I feel like this is something that people don’t get told often because of how materalistic society is but just, the way you look and your body doesn’t matter as much to people around you as you think it does, its the way you talk and interact with people that matters so rather than being upset with yourself because you can’t fit the perfect body stereotype, try looking at life a little differently, look at the flowers, do something that makes you happy, be happy, talk to that person you’ve been wanting to, try that new hobby, do that new thing and be excited about it, act childish, and that will inherently bring people to you, new friends, aquantances, and even significant others. I get really sad when I see girls be so upset with their physical bodies that they spend all of their time making self depricating jokes and stuff because I can’t imagine that makes them happy and if feels like they are hurting themselves but don’t quite know how to stop because it’s all they’ve known how to do for so long because people allowed them to sabatoge their lives for so long and it hurts so bad. So all I want for all of you is to just accept who you are and have a good time with your life be the best person you can be and remember that nothing matters beyond that because you are happy and other people like happy people, it inspires them to do the same.
I haven’t posted my weight chart in a while, and to be honest, I think it was because I’ve done so well and am so close to my goals, I felt bad to showcase it? But then why not catalog this progress? This blog is my own personal journey to wellness and about my life and I shouldn’t feel any way about that, but good. Isn’t the mind bizarre?
At any rate, for the first time in as long as I can remember, probably 7-8 years, my BMI is in the ‘normal’ range and my body fat is in ‘acceptable.’
I had wanted to tap into the 140s, that didn’t happen, but what did happen, was a positive shift in my mind, and how I feel about my body. I’ve slowly added in some carbs and mainly honey as a sweetener, and I’ve still maintained a loss, which is so encouraging that the workouts I’ve been doing, have built muscle and those bad boys are now working for me to continue progress. That even as I enter maintence mode, in another 10 pounds or so, I’ll be able to healthfully keep it off without crazy crash diets or obsession.
I’ve found a healthy relationship with food, exercise and feeling satisfied and not deprived. Doing it healthfully. Making some huge lifestyle changes that I’m proud of for myself and for my family.
I’ve shared that this has been surreal, and it continues to be. I’m surprised often by my reflection, by the fact my clothes I’d relagated to the back of my closet actually fit now, and if I were to have bloodwork, I know my cholesterol and other markers would be healthy. That’s so powerful. I’ve only ever wanted to be healthy and fit. To lead a good example for my kids. To help them have healthy ideals with food and activity, not see a mom crazy about counting carbs and second guessing every morsel. To see a mom who could run, hike, swim, play with them without getting winded or needing to sit down. It’s indescribable.
Here’s this mom of 2 in her old jeans -
And for good measure, some of my beautiful babes -
Feeling capable, feeing empowered, feeling happy xx
Just a little empowering thing I thought of today:
My wlw with bro-friends who act like tomboys but don’t feel like tomboys. I know that seems like a weird sentence but I don’t know how else to word it in one sentence but basically I mean my wlw who are like me, who have had more male friends than female friends for as long as they can remember, who have been part of the broship forever, who have spent so long-acting like a Bro, faking the desire to go outside, making weird jokes you don’t really want to, wearing clothes you don’t want to, not wearing makeup if you want to, all because you love those little brats and you do don’t want to be kicked out of the broship because you don’t “act like a bro anymore”.
I promise they probably won’t care as much as you think they do, I spent so long trying to act like a bro that I no longer felt like I was (I was very tomboyish as a kid and progressively grew to like some of the more traditionally feminine things) that I kind of lost myself, I was really scared, but one day I finally went “Fuck it” and wore the makeup that I wanted to wear, I put on that skirt i’d been eyeing in my closet for the longest time and did my hair nice. And you know what? They didn’t care, they didn’t mind that I didn’t dress like one of the guys anymore because as long as I was still me, still that smart kid who would shove it visciously in their face when they screwed up but give them a hug when their girlfriend dumped them, who was just as smug and arrogant as always, who started hating books the moment they killed an animal, as long as I was still the person I knew underneath it all, they didn’t care.
Those same gamer, bros now look me in the eye and say “Whoa you did that glitter really nice on your eyeshadow today” and “That skirt is fantastic today” or “You woke up early to do your hair, it looks nice” they compliment me ont the things I was scared they would ridicule me on, they’re learning to meet me on my terms even though it was kinda hard at first.
So, my wlw with bro friends who don’t feel like the bro’s they used to be: It’s okay to be that, its okay to do the thing you wanna do, go for it, they’ll either still be your friend anyway or, you can deck them for being jackasses before you become friends again.
Your random reminder that the creator of the computer, Allan Turing, was gay. Computers and the internet are an lgbtq’s dream and he opened the way for us to have the growth and communities that we have built. Just so much praise and adoration for this man who suffered during his lifetime so that we could flourish.
Neither happiness nor sadness are inbuilt in the events and circumstances showing up. All that appears before you is devoid of all meaning. You are the meaning maker. You are the experience you bring into this moment.