Cultivate Femininity Within | Black Femininity Series Part Three
“Femininity is an internal expression before it is an external appearance.”
Femininity is essentially about expressing the fullness of your unique womanhood. Cultivating femininity is an inside job before all else. It’s about being honest with yourself and living in your truth.
The Foundation of Femininity
To express your femininity, you must feel safe and secure. The foundation of femininity is security. When we feel nurtured within ourselves and our environments, we grow more confident in our self-image and femininity.
The Art of Connection
Become more secure within by connecting with yourself. To connect within, practice being present. In the present moment, you can connect deeper with yourself and your intuition. When you notice yourself spending too much time in your head, take a moment to reconnect with your body. Breathe slowly, root yourself within and become aware of your senses. See, feel, hear, touch, smell. Become intentional with your movements. Stand tall with confidence and poise. Speak calmly and clearly. Pause more often. Be aware of your thoughts and feelings. Embrace the now and flow with it.
Become more secure in your environment by making constructive changes that are in your control. Avoid spending your time being distracted, endlessly scrolling through social media and comparing your life to the lives of others. Be present in your own life. Fill your days with more meaningful connections, love, knowledge and laughter. Be mindful of what you allow into your inner and outer space. Choose things that add value to your life in all areas.
Confidence & Self Image
“A flower doesn’t compete with the flower next to it. It just blooms.” — Zen Shin
Avoid placing other people on pedestals. Be concerned with yourself, your life and your goals. Try to avoid comparing yourself to other women. It’s never a competition, it’s an opportunity for sisterhood. Affirm and build relationships with other women. Know that there is enough for all of us.
In terms of both romantic and platonic relationships, know your worth and carry yourself with respect. Don’t settle for less than what your worth. Increase your standards and raise the bar higher for how you should be treated. Be sure that your friendships and relationships add to your life, not take away. Be around people who support, inspire, love, nurture and care for you.
In terms of yourself, who are you really? Go on a journey of self-exploration. Begin learning about yourself down to the details. Find ways to express yourself and embrace your individuality. Don’t be overly concerned with copying trends. Instead, create and experiment with your own personal style. Femininity is also about being creative. To nurture your creativity, take classes to such as writing, dancing, painting, sculpting, cooking and playing an instrument.
“She was created to be kissed, loved, and given flowers every day.” — juansen dizon
Develop an abundance mindset. Believe you’re worthy of a quality life. Believe you’re worthy of having your needs met. Believe you’re worthy of love, peace and respect. Only accept things that matches what you truly want for yourself. Think higher and bigger. Become mindful of your self-talk and speak affirmations to yourself daily.
Be receptive to your blessings. Learn when to act and when to allow. By leaning back and allowing, you cultivate trust and faith which then allows life to flow with ease. Be like a cup and allow things to flow into your life.
Allow yourself to indulge in life’s simple pleasures. Allow yourself to be taken care of. Learn to accept compliments, gifts and help. Express gratitude and say ‘thank you’ more often. Let yourself feel: be warm, inviting, kind, vulnerable, emotional, sensitive and soft. Eradicate the any false connotation you have about those words in conjunction with femininity. There is power in being feminine. Being feminine allows you to become more attractive in the sense of attracting more love, ease and abundance into your life.
Elegance & Sophistication
“Her witty sensuality, her dignity, her growing charm,” — Josephine Balmer
Cultivate elegance by bringing more relaxation and calmness into your day. Incorporate more leisure into your day. Avoid trying to constantly overfill your day with too much obligations and tasks. That’ll lead to burn-out. Let there be periods of time in your day dedicated to ease and quiet. Give yourself moments in the day to release and rest.
Become the best version of yourself by committing to self-improvement. Develop your inner charisma by presenting yourself in high value and alluring way. Sharpen your social skills by learning etiquette. Travel more frequently, whether it be in your own city or to another country. Surround yourself with art & culture. Have personal hobbies: read literature, attend plays, visit museums, learn a new language, start journaling, take pictures, etc. Become educated on more topics and expand your intellect. Delve into your interests whether it be fashion, science, art, philosophy, psychology, anthropology or other subjects. Expand your taste in all areas of your life.
Take Care of Yourself
“I am mine, before I am ever anyone else’s.” — nayyirah waheed
To nurture yourself, begin to prioritize self-care. Treat yourself like luxury. Take care of your health, your happiness and your energy. Create constructive habits in your daily routines that benefit your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health. Habits such as eating healthier, exercising more, stretching, getting adequate sleep, taking deep breaths and more.
Be content in your solitude. Find validation and fulfillment within. Avoid looking to other people, places or things to fill a void within. Begin to see yourself as one of your main sources of love. Pour love, care and respect into yourself. Set healthy boundaries with other people. Be compassionate but don’t let others drain you. You can’t pour from an empty cup. When you pour into your own cup first, the overflow can then be given to others.
Put effort into your appearance and personal hygiene. When you look good, you feel good. Invest in quality perfumes and develop your signature scent. Fine tune your closet to clothing items that make you feel beautiful, feminine and confident. Add statement pieces and accessories to your outfits. Pamper yourself with face masks, manicures, pedicures, body exfoliations and more. Find skincare products that work for your skin. If you enjoy makeup, learn how to properly apply it to your specific skin tone and undertones. Work on presenting your best self daily until it becomes second nature.
Scan your personal space and begin to eradicate items that no longer add to your life. Let go of the old to create space for better. Donate, recycle and throw out old items that clutter your space. Add more beauty to your space. Decorate your home with items that make you feel good. Let your surroundings be a reflection of your personal vision.
Our femininity can be expressed when we feel secure within ourselves and our surroundings. We tap into our femininity when we feel nurtured and in tune with ourselves, our intuition, our senses and our environment. As we become more connected with ourselves, we’ll develop a more confident and positive self-image. We’ll become more receptive to the love, success and opportunity we know we deserve. We’ll create a quality life filled with abundance and substance. And we’ll learn to love and care for ourselves through it all.