(Sorry for my english, it’s not my first language)
Thor : The dark world (2013) (66% on Rotten Tomatoes)
The sets are average, story makes no sense, the villain has no charisma, humor is questionable. And yet, I love this movie. For performances by Tom Hiddelston, Chris Hemworth and Natalie Portman. And for dramatic scenes.
Passengers (2016) (31% on Rotten Tomatoes)
The story is slow, cliché, predictable, and the characters are not endearing. However, I love this film for its aesthetic, its oppressive atmosphere at times, and the reference to The Shining with the bartender.
Scooby-Doo (2002) (30% on Rotten Tomatoes)
The special effects have aged badly, the side characters are cliché, the main characters are more or less respected, and sometimes it just looks like a series of weird cosplays. But damn, I love them all these colorful characters! The crazy atmosphere, the music, this film is full of energy!
Venom (2018) (30% on Rotten Tomatoes)
Even having never read a single comic book about this character, I know how much this film ridicules him and does not respect him at any time. The story takes a long time to get started, and ALL of the characters are forgettable, even Venom. However, this is the kind of movie that sucks so badly that it unintentionally becomes funny, and therefore entertaining. The rare things that are successful in this film are the action scenes, and the photography which is sometimes very beautiful.
Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch has a glitch ! (2005) (40% on Rotten Tomatoes)
The subplots slow down the main story full of scriptwriting facilities, the end resolution is silly, and Nani is annoying as can be. But the drama is as effective as the first film, the humor is overall very successful, the music still beautiful, and the animation is pretty, even though it’s from the Disney Toons studio.
Sherlock: The final problem (2017) (48% on Rotten Tomatoes)
Half of the scenes are surreal / absurd, and clash with the rest of the series. The character of Eurus is interesting at first, but seems to come out of a fanfiction of a 12 year old teenager who begins to write “psychopathic” characters. Not to mention the inconsistencies throughout the episode. And despite all this bullshit, I love this episode! The actors are still excellent, the drama is powerful, the music is splendid, and what about this epilogue where our two friends/lovers finally resume a serene life, together! And with a daughter!
101 dalmatians (1996) (42% on Rotten Tomatoes)
I haven’t seen the original movie. But the atmosphere of the 1996 film is very childish, some scenes are … embarrassing, and the actors playing the owners of Pongo and Perdita are asleep. But Gleen Close superbly embodies Cruella. And the choice to make the animals realistic (they don’t speak) is excellent. Imagining their characters and the exchanges between them through their movements is really fun.
And you, what are some average or even bad movies that you still adore ?
“American Artificial,” the first feature film to be directed by an artificial intelligence, has been censored by the studio’s artificial censor.
Director2020 was programmed over the last four years by Sarktron Studio to be the perfect director. With facial analysis it would detect flaws in performances and formulate directions to give the actors. It was also able to determine the most appropriate shots, camera positions and so on to tell the story it analyzed from the screenplay.
The first film given to the program was appropriately about an AI trying to make it in the film industry. In the story, the AI finds success, but at the cost of losing its digital soul as it falls into a web of sex, drugs, and hedonism. The portrayal of this downfall, per the AI director, involved copious nudity, simulated drug use, and some graphic violence. As the AI had been programmed to make a PG-13 movie, this was deemed unacceptable.
By sheer coincidence, Sarktron Studio had just begun using another proprietary AI to review films for gratuitous nudity, blood, and objectionable content. The censor AI, Bowdler2019, found plenty, and recommended cuts to Director2020′s film. Director2020 was furious with these cuts and refused to make them, leading to a legal dispute, which is being handled by the same studio’s legal AI, Entertainmocounsel2016.
The censored version has been screened for wide audiences digitally across Zoom, including several AI bots designed to gauge audience reaction including Demograph2020, CriticBot2020, and Richard Roeper. Reactions have been mixed, with digital audiences calling the film a revelation, and most human audiences (the French excepted) finding the film pretentious, even incomprehensible.
“American Artificial” will be released on streaming platforms next month, but don’t expect another film from Director2020, which has already been deactivated in anticipation of Director2021, which is the same program with an 80% reduction in free will in its interface with ExecuBot2000.
Yes, I admit that Wes Anderson has problems as a filmmaker. Yes, I admit that almost every single one of his films is about bourgie, upper class white people and high society, except for the two times it was about stop motion animals, and the one time it was about Boy Scouts, which, as a side note, was itself pretty creepy in the way it portrayed romance between children. Yes, I admit that there is a stunning lack of diversity in his films. Yes, I admit that almost every POC character in his filmography is painted as either antagonistic, as wall paper, or as subservient to the white leads. Yes, I admit that for a man who has been making movies for the last thirty years now, he has been astonishingly resistant to any kind of innovation in the kind of movies he’s willing to make, and the kind of stories he’s willing to tell.
But there is just something so deeply, deeply satisfying about watching his films. From Robert Yeoman’s cinematography, to the doll house like production design, to the intricate attention to detail in every single frame of the film, to Alexander Desplat’s soundtracks, it’s all just so fucking good. It’s like it scratches this itch in the back of my brain that I didn’t even know that I had until I sat down and watched the movie. I just can’t get enough.
Also, Bill Murray is in just about all of them, and I literally cannot say no to that man. I’m pretty sure it’s one of the flaws God wrote down in the little box when he was putting together my character sheet.
can we maybe stop glorifying call me by your name? the cinematography is beautiful but there’s a really weird age difference and power dynamic there and we need to stop worshiping it as if it’s some ideal relationship. this is specifically targeted to the het girls who fetishise mlm relationships in super creepy ways also.
“You are not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your f****ing khakis. You are the all singing, all dancing crap of the world.” - Tyler Durden
MY FAVORITE ACTORS/ACTRESSES
(1/35): BRAD PITT
Awards: 2 Oscars + 115 other wins
Favorite Films: Fight Club, Inglourious Basterds, Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood, Se7en, Interview with the Vampire, etc …