This job, Montparnasse thought, had been full of surprises.
Surprise number one: Jehan had begged to come along. Surprise
number two: Jehan can pick locks faster than even Babet can. Surprise number
“Parnasse, was that necessary?” he asked, scrunching his
nose at the dead body at his feet.
“He had a knife and was pointing it at you,” Montparnasse
“Yeah, but now we have to get rid of the body and while
there is a convenient sewer system nearby to bring it to a kitchen where we can
cook it into meat pies, I worry about being seen dragging it out onto the
Jehan makes cannibalism jokes.
What had they gotten himself into when he fell in love with
this tiny woodland sprite? Was this the kind of shit they’d have to deal with
the entire time they dated him?
“…Parnasse, c’mon, don’t space out on me. We have a dead
body and thirty pounds of stuff we have to get out of this house.”
“Right,” they said, shaking themselves out of their shock. “You
get the loot, I’ll get the body.”
“Are we going to make it into meat pies?”
“No! We’re dumping it in the sewers, for fucks sake. You and
Mer and Babet might be willing to eat people, but I’m not and I’m not gonna
carry this heavy fucker all the way to Babet’s house so you can try.”
Jehan pouted. “You’re a party pooper.”
“I’m not doing it. c’mon, let’s go before someone calls the
They dumped the body into the sewer as soon as they came
across a manhole large enough, and then took one of the loot bags from Jehan
and looped their arm through his.
“Fuckin’ cannibal jokes….” Parnasse grumbled.
“What’s that, dear?”
“Nothing, Jehan. Nothing.”