- my orchestra conductor: count your rests!
- me, an intellectual: just feel the music™
- band tropes
flute/piccolo: stone cold bitch. will kill a man for a solo.
clarinet: absolute nerds. chill 99% of the time.
french horn: Yikes. they’re either a mess or hella salty. or both.
trumpet: there’s like ten million of them. and they all think they’re the best in the band.
alto/tenor sax: they don’t have any friends, but they’re pretty nice.
bari sax: dedicated. very strong willed.
trombone: still laughs at shitty 2009 memes. wears velcro shoes. Avoid At All Costs.
baritone: they don’t practice, and yet? they don’t mess up. except for “wait, is this A flat or sharp? first valve or second? what?”
tuba: they are not kind. usually annoyed with the rest of the band.
percussion: half of them don’t give a fuck, the other half give a fuck AGGRESSIVELY
- as a saxophonist i feel obligated to make this post
look at this abomination. what kind of saxophone is he? hes missing 2 of the top and bottom keys, and the bottom key is on the wrong side! atrocious. there are key holes on the wrong side of the bell!!!!! unplayable! but on a positive note, he looks very pretty 2/10
this looks like a toy, you didn’t even try -23849283/10
WHERES THE KEY HOLES??? WHATS WITH THE MOUTHPIECE??? WHAT IS THIS TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH??? is that the cork or the ligature??? why is the neck so thick? i hate him!!! 0/10
hm…. an alto? he is too mutilated to tell. key holes on the wrong side of the bell! no bottom keys. too many keys on top!!! but good job on at least trying to add the palm keys 1/10
WHERE ARE HIS KEYS 0/10
cute… but too simplistic… the top keys are too big! there are only 3 keys! the bell is not hollow? he is just a hunk of metal. disgraceful 0/10
this… is misleading!! at first glance he looks like a playable fellow! but then the bottom keys are on the wrong side! the key holes on the bell are too! where are the palm keys? the pinky keys? there is a weird black stick in place of the moutpiece… maybe its a double reed? not a saxophone 2/10
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 0/10
omg!!! a fine looking lad! maybe a rothophone? put some keys on him and move the bell key holes and you have yourself a fine instrument! however he is still badly put together and a little bent up 4/10
this brings me immense pain. he has 3 key holes….. only….. and they are too big!!!!! put him out of his misery -10/10
this is a goofus… and even for a goofus he has too little valves! the turn of the bell is too sharp, he makes awful noise 0/10
h -100/10
a mellow fellow… but too wide to be a tenor as his neck suggests!! he is drawn messy and with only 3 keys….. whoever makes these emojis is a fool and coward 0/10
YESSSS. THIS is a beautiful alto saxophone! the right number of keys! the palm keys!! key holes on the right side of the bell! the bottom keys are gone, though, which saddens me deeply… but i like the attention to detail! this is how you should draw a saxophone 9/10
- Thing that Happened in Band Today
- Band Director: You all are my ponies, and I have led you to the water. YOU HAVE TO DRINK THE FREAKING WATER ON YOUR OWN!
- *kids chuckle*
- Band Director: That's how the saying goes, right? You can lead a horse to water, but you can't drown it or else everyone will get mad and you'll be fired.
- *more chuckling*
- Saxophone: *raises hand* I wanna drown it!
- Everyone: *looking at the sax*
- Band Director: ...Moving on.
- sections in my band
flutes: salty, cant tune, will fight you, loyal and smart
clarinets: tired, dont give a fuck, either very good or very very bad
trumpets: chill. shy but hilarious. “everyone” likes them
alto sax: jazz - 10/10 chill dudes, very nice. concert - who?
tenor sax: prissy, very good, would not recommend long exposure too
bari sax: sad
trombones: new to band, total meme hos,
tuba: v smol, baby of the band, must protect
percussion: sonuvabitch, talented but dicky
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