1. When you hear music and you start marking time.
2. When you walk behind someone and you’re in step with them.
3. When you try to guess the tempo of your favorite song.
4. When all your friends are in the band.
5. When you don’t mind changing clothes on the bus.
6. When you point out key changes and dynamics while listening to the radio.
7. When every guy/girl you’re interested in is in the band.
8. When you like wearing your uniform.
9. When people ask you about your social life and you say, “Oh, you mean my flute/trumpet/drum/etc.?”
10. When you consider your drill book a fashion accessory.
11. When you’ve had a “trombone-ectomy”
12. When you practice your instrument more than you talk to your dog.
13. When being mauled by a drum is a normal part of life.
14. When people worry when they see you without you instrument.
15. When “armed guard,” means a girl with a pole instead of a guy with a gun.
16. When band camp is FUN
17. When you respond to “band **”
18. When someone says the word “box” and you automatically put your head up.
19. When you remember flats and sharps more easily than your name.
20. When you dress the lunch line, and urge others to do the same.
21. When you’re alone and you suffocate because there’s no one telling you to breathe.
22. When slides feel normal.
23. When your instrument has a name.
24. When you remember your instrument’s birthday and forget your mom’s.
25. When making a line is you biggest accomplishment of the day.
26. When back marching no longer reminds you of ballet.
27. When you give your instrument a birthday party.
28. When you can make brown shoes look white.
29. When your uniform fits.
30. When white feathers become a fashion “do”.
31. When you see your section more than you see your family.
32. When everyone wants to kill the other football team…and you want to kill the other band.
33. When you have dreams about selling Woody’s Wings.
34. When you think evening practices should last a half-hour longer.
35. When you accidentally call your band director “Dad”.
36. When you CAN sight-read.
37. When you can put on you uniform in less than 10 minutes.
38. When reeds taste good.
39. When Woody’s Wings are part of you daily diet.
40. When you think your plume is alive.
41. When marking time is your favorite form of exercise.
42. When you have a neck strap/harness/dot book tan line.
43. When you subconsciously start practicing with a pencil.
44. When numbers past 8 aren’t important.
45. When you’re more opinionated about the Madison scouts/Phantom Regiment Rivalry than the O.J. trial.
46. When you roll-step through the cafeteria so you don’t spill your lunch.
47. When you’d rather practice than read this list.
48. When letters past G aren’t important.
49. When you CAN AND ARE WILLING to fall asleep on the band bus.
50. When you hear music and start conducting.
51. When your non-band friends have disowned you.
52. You’ve named your plume.
53. You attend a game only to watch the halftime show and then leave once it’s over.
54. Your social life includes memorizing music.
55. You’ve practiced so long the color guard is together.
56. You memorize stand tunes for fun.
57. You know your school fight song by heart.
58. You root for the other football team to lessen the time of your season.
59. You don’t mind singing on the bus so long as it’s the show music.
60. You step on the field again after summer vacation, kiss the ground and yell “I’m home at last!”
61. You can sing not only your show from three years ago, but the other band’s show that beat you.
62. You invest in a mouthpiece warmer.
63. Wide open spaces urge you to march your show.
64. You have at least 2 instruments - a junky one for marching and a good one for concert band.
65. Dreams of marching are constantly in your head.
66. Seeing the sunrise and sun set standing in the same spot on the same field doesn’t seem odd.
67. You come back after graduation to watch the band on their first day of summer band.
68. You practice the show so much people think you have eyes in the back of your head.
69. You purposely get demerits/fail so you can have extra marching time.
70. You wear your marching shoes to school.
71. The most exciting thing in your life is marching band.
72. It feels odd to wake up in the morning when there is light outside.
73. You start to call the “football field” the “marching field”.
74. You call to ask for marching advice from people who graduated years ago.
75. Your senior year you buy your own uniform, hat, and plume as a memento.
76. You no longer think of yourself as a person, but as a dot on a drill book page.
77. You remember each year of high school by the show that you marched in and not the grade.
78. You sit in ready position…at the dinner table.
79. You march in the summer to keep up good marching skills.
80. You have good marching skills.
81. You “Plume Kiss”
82. Your homecoming mum says “Go Band!” not “Go Team!”
83. You miss homecoming for a band function and don’t mind.
84. Everyone fights like family.
85. Your band locker has more of your personal items in it than your closet.
86. You forget your sister’s name but remember the first, middle, and last name of everyone in your +200 member band.
87. You see your section more than your family.
88. You know everyone in band’s business.
89. You have no secrets.
90. Your pets enjoy hearing you play.
91. You can tell who’s in the bathroom by looking at their sneakers under the stall.
92. The furniture is dented from your drummer friends banging on it.
93. You can still play your horn for 40 minutes straight after being awake on a bus for 40 hours.
94. You add “English Royal Gaurd” to your job choices after you graduate high school.
95. Changing your oil means opening up your case.
96. You think of sabatoging instruments at the solo & ensemble festival.
97. You can have an interesting conversation with a tuba player or a drummer.
98. You go trick or treating in you band uniform and can think of something your uniform could be (Royal Gaurd Uniform, Police Man Uniform, ect..)
99. You can tell someone’s band jacket just by looking at the patches.
And finally the 100th way to tell if you’ve been in band too long…
100. You actually read through this whole list because it was funny and you got most of jokes.