10. Autistic Twitter: “how could that creepy goblin represent an autistic child better than an actor could?”
11. Playhouse: “Well you see because he’s a non verbal autistic and aggressive so things get pretty physical and also it would be stereotypical and insulting to make a human play an autistic person but if we use an inanimate object it’s fine.”
12. Autistic Twitter: “We are NOT okay with this.”
13. Playhouse: “You haven’t even seen the play. We consulted with so many autistic people.”
14. National Autism Society: “Yeah you consulted us and we told you that this play was problematic and that you should make some major changes including dumping the puppet.”
15. Playhouse: “And we took those notes under advisement.”
16. NAS: “But you didn’t make the changes.”
17. Playhouse: “No. Because you just a read a script and we know you’ll all feel differently when you see it.
18. Autistic Twitter: “So… can autistic theatre critics get free tickets so we can see if?”
19. Playhouse: “No we can’t afford to give out free tickets to critics.”
20. Non-Autistic Critic: “Actually you offered ME free tickets and I turned them down saying you should give them to an autistic critic.”
21. Playhouse: “…Hey look, opening night!”
22. Non-Autistic Critic: “So I went to see it and… it’s really weird. The parents are terrible people and I cannot for the life of me understand why they thought an adult man with a grey faced goblin sprouting from his groin making autistic noises was more realistic than an autistic actor playing the child themself.”
23. Non-Autistic Autism Advocate: “I went to see it and it was SO GOOD. I totally forgot that Laurence was a puppet he seemed so much like a real autistic child in that he was not human and he didn’t even feature that much in the play.
The heartbreak of the family dealing with the tragedy of autism was so real and honest and I have NO idea why people are offended by this wonderful play that portrays autism as a family-destroying evil.
24. #ActuallyAutistic Critic: “GUYS I WENT TO SEE IT AND OMG. Theatre isn’t sensory friendly, non sensory friendly performances, no trigger warnings on anything even though it’s full of ableism and screaming people.
Plot of the play is that the kid is being taken by social services to go to an institution.
Big plot twist is that the mom called them herself because she couldn’t handle the autism anymore.
Puppet just flaps around and occasionally attacks people. I actually really love puppetry but this was messed up and not well done AT ALL.
These people are all terrible. Dad has been taking shits on the Mom’s pillow and blaming it on his non-verbal son.
Puppet gets pinned to the ground in that move that can kill people.
The puppet’s care worker says that autistic people are animals who have reincarnated as people, and he’s still the best human being in this play.
This is play is an ableist shitfest written by allistics for allistics about the tragedy of autism and how it destroys families.”
25. Autistic Twitter: “Sorry, did you say the Dad SHITS ON HIS WIFE’S PILLOW AND BLAMES HIS SON??”
26. Allistic Twitter: “This play was SO brave to be so honest about how awful autistic children are! So refreshing to see a play showing the PARENTS’ viewpoint for once!
So that’s where we are right about now. If you want to go be angry the hashtag on twitter is #puppetgate
Here is a link to Shaun May’s amazing and horrifying review of this tire fire of a play.
An autistic friend of mine just said this to me “The harder I work at communication the more people expect from me and the less they are willing to compromise.” and it is the most fucking heartbreaking thing I’ve heard.
What people think hyperfixation is like: Wow I love this thing so much! It makes me so happy! I like thinking about it all the time! I get all excited when people talk about it with me and when I get to talk about it myself! I’ve even bought all the merch for it too!
What hyperfixation ACTUALLY is like: Wow, I love this thing so much, I don’t think I’d be able to live without it. A shame that it ruins my ability to self care though since the thing is all my brain has energy for. Kinda wish I wasn’t so behind on my work either but I can’t think about anything but the thing. Anyways, that’s okay, because the thing makes me happy! It makes me so happy that I’ve spent money on every piece of merch for it, to the point where I don’t have money for important things! I may even get randomly agitated and aggressive if someone brings it up in a conversation because I’m the one that knows the most and it makes me need to info dump which makes people annoyed with me!
being autistic is wild because apparently being “overly helpful” is a thing? paying for things when out with friends? giving advice to a first year on a class theyre taking that i took last semester? offering notes to a classmate that missed last week? moving boxes that are a bit too heavy for me? all things ive gotten the Allistic Look of Disapproval for
“be friendly and youll make friends” my ass. you just cant win with some people
We need to normalise using “/s” as punctuation to indicate sarcasm. It would reduce confusion not only amoungst people who struggle with picking up irony(like ppl with ADHD or autistic ppl) but with literally everyone because without tone it’s unreasonable to expect the average person to consistently correctly determine what’s irony and what’s literal in casual text.
The end of autism acceptance month is near so heres a quick reminder from me (your local autistic gal) to actively unlearn the habit of making fun of/laughing at people who display autistic behaviour (aka odd and weird behaviour) and start treating them like normal fucking people. Yes im talking to all allistics that follow me because e v e r y o n e does this
This autistic person wants neurotypical people to understand one thing about autistic meltdowns.
An autistic meltdown is not a behavior.
An autistic meltdown is a feeling.
Behavior is a result of losing control of that feeling.
There are autistic people who can have a meltdown right next to you without you knowing it because they aren’t flailing around, banging their head, screaming and crying.
They might be clenching their hands so hard their nails dig into their skin, they may have tears rolling down their face, they may be chewing ulcers into the tip of their tongue or inside of their cheek, they may hold themselves very rigidly, they may seem short of breath, they may be sweating, they may stare off into space…and as soon as they’re safe inside their own home they blow up into the meltdown most people know.
Because society forces autistic people to mask, and those of us who can’t mask or whose mask falls off under extreme pressure are Othered.
Meltdowns don’t just happen, they have triggers. A big universal one is the person feeling like they have no control of any aspect of their environment or themselves.
Treating meltdowns as only behavior (”challenging behavior” to some) and disregarding the emotions / sensations in it dehumanizes the autistic person going through it.
I seen a lot of people here and there reblog posts like “If you see someone being interrupted don’t let it happen just put the person in their place”. This kind of scares me and other people I know who have autism. We literally have a hard time reading the context and telling when someone is finished speaking or just paused. This is especially a problem in group settings where we accidentally cut people off a lot thinking they were finished.
Of course we stop once we realize they weren’t finished. Often we go to the extremes where by the end of the conversation we ended up never getting a chance to speak in fear of cutting someone off or we accidentally cut someone off because of a misread pause. This is a great source of anxiety because either we leave never having said a word never sure if we could speak or we are seen as rude for accidentally misreading the situation.
So if a person with autism cuts someone off… just maybe try to help them out instead of lecturing them on their terrible social skills. Give signs to show when you are willing to “pass the microphone” per say (even just for comments/relating about the story). That or at least don’t lecture them or give them a mean look to make them feel like a bad person for misreading the situation. You can say like “Oh I wasn’t done I’ll open up the floor for comments with a nod” or something lol. It sounds silly but literally can’t even tell the difference between a pause and an end.
NTs getting fidget toys and weighted blankets and saying “do these really help anxiety and focus???? They seem distracting :/” Is like if I hopped in a wheel chair like “honestly??? This isn’t helping my mobility at all, it’s actually making it harder.”
What are some tricks for getting executive dysfunction to bugger off long enough to do the thing?
Here are some ideas I’ve either found work for me or I’ve been told work for other people. Hopefully you’ll find some of them effective or, if not, maybe they’ll inspire you to come up with some brand new strategies of your own.
Declare your intent aloud. Announce to yourself (and other people, if they’re around) that you’re going to do the thing you need to do. Eg: “I will clean the sink.” “I am going to have a shower.”
Talk yourself through the task. Narrating the steps of my current task as I do them helps me to concentrate and follow through. Eg: “I am gathering the empty cups from the table and putting them in the sink.” Sometimes I can then even start narrating things I am not doing and I’ll automatically follow through because it’s become a habit in the moment. If a task involves reading, try reading it aloud.
Steal the energy from elsewhere. Engage with something that makes you feel good first, then ride that high to do the thing that doesn’t. If the task involves doing something physical, put on some energetic music that makes you want to dance and then channel that dance energy into task energy.
Hype yourself up. Channel your inner feel-good sports movie coach and start telling yourself how awesome you are, how you’re gonna kick this task’s butt and this task doesn’t stand a chance. Repeat random over-the-top motivational phrases until the motivation has no choice but to appear, like summoning an eldritch being by annoying them until they acknowledge you.
Break the task into steps. Very often I’ll have trouble tackling tasks, even simple ones, just because I don’t know where to start and the whole thing feels bigger than it is. In this case I find it helps to determine the steps that a task involves and do them one at a time, treating each one as its own job. Eg: Instead of “I will write an essay” try “I will write an introductory paragraph” or even just “I will write an introductory sentence”.
Write the steps down. Goodness knows I can’t follow verbal instructions for the life of me unless they’re given one step at a time. Rather than trying to keep the steps straight in your head, write them down and keep referring back to that list when you get sidetracked, lost, or stuck.
Do the task out of order. If the task allows it, try doing whatever part is most appealing first to ease yourself into the workflow.
Make the workload smaller. If jobs like doing dishes or laundry seem like too much work, consider if you can get rid of some of the clothes or dishes to cut down on how much work there is in the first place. If you’ve committed to too large a project, see if you can simplify it or distribute the work involved among a group.
Narrow your focus. Rather than tackling an entire task at once, try breaking it into easier-to-manage chunks. If you need to do laundry or dishes, specify that you’re only going to wash shirts or plates. If reading an entire book is intimidating, assign yourself a certain number of pages at a time. If reading an entire page of text is intimidating, try covering the page with a loose piece of paper and slowly revealing lines as you read.
Do it in five minute increments. Set a timer for five minutes and
do the task for the duration. If you feel like you could do a little
more, keep at it. If you’re still struggling, give yourself a break (you
can also time your break if you find that helps) and try again later.
Use a buddy. See if there’s someone who’s willing to have a call
going or who will come sit by you or even just check in every once in a
while to keep you accountable. ADHDers are notorious for lacking
internal motivation, so employing someone else to externalize it can
make a big difference.
Be kind to yourself. Sometimes, no matter what you do, your brain just doesn’t want to cooperate. If you feel yourself getting frustrated, remember that it’s not your fault. Take a step back, have a snack or drink of water, give yourself some time to decompress, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Taking care of yourself will help you to actually be in good enough condition to do the job.
I’ve also talked more in-depth about how I personally tackle doing tasks despite executive dysfunction here, and I have an ADHD Writing Advice post here that has some tips that may be applicable to tasks other than writing.
To others who struggle with executive dysfunction, what are some strategies you’ve discovered work for you?
i remember seeing a couple of posts about how the “severity” of autism is usually heightened due to the autistic person being under stress / in an uncomfortable situation / not having their needs (emotional, physical, stimulatory, sensory, etc) met and damn is that relevant to me today
if i was assessed right now today i’d probably present as highly autistic, meaning:
struggling with verbal speech and clear communication (takes a lot of thoughts and energy)
being extremely blunt and having no filter when i do speak (not enough mental energy to filter)
lashing out physically and verbally (due to being overwhelmed and not being listened to)
not being able to pick up on body cues like hunger and thirst and bathroom requirements until it’s causing a problem
compulsive behaviours (washing hands until they’re sore, needing to touch / do things a specific number of times)
requiring things to be in a specific place for no “obvious” reason and being incapable to verbally explain why it needs to be there
high sensitivity to sensory experiences (light, sound, texture, etc. which is normal for me but i have a lot less tolerance to put up with it today)
meltdowns / shutdowns for no “perceivable” reason (there are very obvious reasons for me)
needing to tone down outside sensory experiences, such as going into a dark quiet place, covering my eyes / having a hood on, having quiet music playing, wearing something more comfortable, going into a small place like under a table, making a nest / quiet comfort zone, etc
not being able to quickly and easily move from one task to another
“lack of empathy”
i would be stimming a lot but i’m struggling too much with internalised ableism to allow myself to do it, plus they’d be very self injurious stims to let out my emotions
and there’s probably a lot more. there’s also a lot going on internally which isn’t visible, like heightened body pain, intrusive thoughts, negative thoughts, it’s hard to think, etc.
normally, most of this would be fine or at least tolerable. and even if it wasn’t fine, i’d be able to mask it and internalise it
the reason why i’m presenting so much is because today has been a stressful day, and the past week or so has been extremely… not necessarily stressful, but just a lot to deal with. so today has finally been a bit of a breaking point
i’ve masked my symptoms for most of my life for varying reasons (note why i’m undiagnosed), so for me to have a “high autism” day like this is usually met with comments like “what’s wrong with you, you’re being stupid, stop being weird, just deal with it, you’re being unreasonable, you’re being so rude” etc instead of trying to understand and help me and allowing me to cope
this post is okay to reblog and feel free to add comments or send asks about your own experiences if you relate
y’all are so used to seeing autism second-hand that when you hear about life through our mouths instead of from some mommy blogger who thinks her 6yo is a fucking alien you think “oh that sounds like a normal life” because, to us, it fucking is. most of us feel like normal people in a weird world. yeah you may have gotten bullied as a kid, but i assure it was Not For the Same Reasons. like,
me: this is something that happened to me specifically as an autistic person specifically due to my autism and how allistics hate autistic people specifically. this is a very specific post that ive specified is about autistic life specifically
You’re seen as an old soul and mature for your age as a kid/teen because it’s easier for you to connect with and get on with older kids/adults
But then when you’re actually an adult, you become the Ultimate Kid In An Adult Body and it’s like you’re rediscovering the magic and joys of childhood again because everyone expects you to grow up and be a functioning adult but there’s such wonder in letting yourself act like a child again because you were seen as a mature old soul when you were physically a kid
[Image Description: a six-part Twitter thread spread over three images.
The six parts are as follows:
I’m thinking about how much better my quality of life would have been if ASL was as common in the US as English and like im furious actually. (1/6)
growing up autistic and with misophonia, i had no way to participate in conversations if i needed to plug my ears, and it made my need for an accommodation into a huge source of tension amongst loved ones. (2/6)
ive had family and sometimes friends take it very personally when i get triggered by their mouth sounds or overstimulated from their volume. And its not like i can just plug up and communicate silently. I don’t have that language tool and usually neither do they! (3/6)
and with misophonia, lemme just say that you become very acutely aware of how frequently the people around you are masticating. classrooms are hell. you’re only really safe when you’re alone. (4/6)
and outside of that, people are just generally loud. And i can handle that sometimes! I have been known to be very loud and to enjoy loud activities. But it’s also sometimes very very bad and i don’t have much i can do during the bad times except just. Leave. (5/6)
Having the option to just plug up and sign would have made my life as a neurodivergent person much easier. I should learn ASL at some point anyways, but outside of circles that sign it’s not going to give me any of the accessibility that i need. (6/6)
A hiker rescues a lost hiker and begins to lead them back through the woods across the quickest path. When they face a huge mountain, the lost hiker realizes that their rescuer is equipped with solid boots, thick pants and a warm jacket, along with extensive mountaineering equipment in a climbing pack on their back. They themselves are only wearing a light jacket, casual shoes, and jeans.
“Here’s the mountain!” their rescuer says. “Let’s start climbing!”
The lost hiker looks at them. “Are you crazy?! I can’t climb this!”
“Sure you can!” the
says. “It’s easy! I’ve done it, so can you!”
“But you have all this equipment,” the lost hiker says. “I don’t. There’s no way I can get up there without it.”
“Why don’t you go get equipment then?”
“It’s very expensive!” the
says. “And my car is on the other side of the mountain!”
“You’re just being lazy!”
replies. “I’ve conquered harder mountains in my sleep!”
“But I don’t have the equipment!” the
repeats. “I don’t even know where to start!”
“Just start anywhere!”
So the second hiker tries to climb up.
“No, no, no, you’re doing it wrong!”
says. “Use your rope!”
“But I don’t have a rope!”
“You’re just making excuses,”
argues, rolling their eyes, continuing up the cliff side.
lost hiker grows winded at ten feet up and stops to take a break.
“You’ll never get up at that rate!”
“But I’m exhausted!” the
replies. “You’ve done this more than me!”
“So just keep going then! You’re just being lazy!”
The lost hiker watches their rescuer continue to climb, up, up up…and wonders why they even tried in the first place.
you really want to talk about A Thing but you have Absolutely No Idea how to put it into words that will make sense to the person you’re talking to despite you being able to see it and make sense of it perfectly in your head so you’re kind just standing there blubbering and trying to put together a coherent sentence