Alcoholic Gossip

Margarita: I heard Brandy and Jack Daniels met at the mixer!
Sherry: Yeah, but their relationship is on the rocks.
Margarita: Oh no! I thought they would be perfect together. Have things gone sour?
Sherry: He's just not a straight shooter.
Margarita: Well, I always thought he was neat.
Sherry: Nah, he's a dirty one. A real chaser. She's a virgin, you know.
Margarita: That's an interesting twist!
Sherry: He muddled her thinking, and it was bound to fizz out anyway.

Alcohol Puns!

This Tumblr just started with an alcohol pun, so it's only fitting to post a bunch of awesome literary cocktail puns!

Ernest Goes to Campari

Tequila Mockingbird

Expecto Patrón Us

Bridget Jones’ Daiquiri

Franken-Stein

and of course... Atlas Chugged.

I Couldn't Sleep Last Night Because of this "Story"

Two friends are in a bar having a good time
Friend 1: Man, look at the legs on that girl that Doug's talking to.
Friend 2: Yeah, hope that she doesn't find out how much of a wine-er he is.
Friend 1: Maybe I should go over there and tell him to put a cork in it.
Friend 2: I don't know man, that seems a little whiskey...
Friend 1: It's not like I'm going to liquor.
Friend 2: Of Coors not!
Friends 1: C'mon, I have to give it a shot!
Friend 2: Okay, just remembeer to keep him in high spirits or he might blow it.
Friend 1: You got it, Bud!