Self-hatred

I've got a string of memes that I NEED so prepare. This blog is turning into serious/meme avatar.

You didn't hear Simon return, but you snapped to consciousness when a glass shattered. You sat up, rubbing your eyes as you pulled your hair out of your face.

You yanked the covers off, legs swinging out of bed. You saw the light of the kitchen from under your bedroom door. It was pouring rain, violently hitting your window. Lightning lit up the bedroom, thunder shaking the house.

Cautiously, you stepped toward the door. You were sure it wasn't an intruder, but you couldn't be absolutely certain, and that made your stomach sink. Simon hadn't said anything about coming home, and he usually woke you when he arrived.

You reached the handle, the door creaking open, and you looked out, seeing Simon, his back to you, seated at the table. He was still in his uniform.

You sighed with relief, opening it further and walking over to him. You stopped in your tracks when you saw glass on the ground, and an amber liquid sliding down the wall.

"Simon?" You asked, inching closer.

He didn't answer, even when you moved around to stand before him.

"Are you okay? When did you get back?" You squinted, your eyes still sensitive to the light.

He barely lifted his head, bags under his eyes. His eyes were bloodshot, and the glare he gave you was bone-chilling. He was breathing quickly, strangled breaths coming out as he tried to speak.

"Sorry, bout the glass. Didn't mean t' wake you."

"Don't be sorry," You breathed, kneeling before him. "Can I touch you?"

He nodded.

Your hands settled on his thighs, urging him to look at you.

"What's wrong, baby?"

He breathed in, his exhale shaky.

"The thunder," He said, his head falling back. "It-fuck." His knuckles were white, clenching his fist so hard you were sure he'd drawn blood.

"That's okay. Take some slow, deep breaths. You're here with me."

He nodded. "I'm tryin'," He said. "Just-"

He clenched his jaw.

His shirt was soaked with sweat.

You held onto his hand, thumb rubbing over his skin as you breathed in and out slowly.

Simon had had episodes before, PTSD attacks. You were still familiarizing yourself with his triggers- he hadn't let you near him during his attacks for the first few years of your relationship, the resentment of being so vulnerable made it harder to work through. You were certain that whatever he saw when he closed his eyes was worse than going without sleep for days.

He exhaled again, his fist still closed as he rested his hand on the table. He had a hundred-yard stare, eyes focused on the wall behind you. You saw the sweat gathering on his brow, soaking his hair. He was sheet-white and shaking.

"You should get back to bed," He said, turning his head.

Even through his suffering, he only cared about you. Your happiness, your safety, your health. It made you irrationally angry yet simultaneously smitten.

"I'm not going to bed without you," You spoke in a soft voice, trying to remain calm and quiet.

He grunted in response, his breathing still too fast for your liking.

Looking around, you spotted the glass that he had shattered.

"That was one of my favourite glasses," You teased. "You're buying me a new one."

"Never liked it anyways."

"Is there anything in this kitchen you do like?" You giggled softly.

He had a habit of starting things and not finishing them, mostly due to deployment but also in true male fashion. He'd promised to renovate the kitchen, claiming it was old and outdated. The house had been without cabinet doors for almost a year now.

"Particularly fond of the whisky," He looked at you.

"I figured," You grinned. "I'm happy you found the shelf I put together for you. You do have to share it with me, though."

"Woman after my own heart."

His breathing had slowed, and he looked a bit more alert now, his hand gripping yours. He was no longer fixated on the wall, and his eyes had softened.

You knew that your ribbing, however pointless, would help him take in his surroundings, bring him back to reality. His episodes thus far were usually fleeting, only a few minutes before he was coherent.

"Would you leave me if I only drank tequila?"

He screwed his nose up. "In a heartbeat. Can't have a woman that drinks that dog piss."

You let out a laugh, and he gave a small grin, which would've gone unnoticed if you weren't around him as much as you were.

He had seemingly calmed down, colour returning to his cheeks. His shaking had stopped, and he was leaning toward you, hand cupping your cheek, eyes drifting between yours.

A deep sigh came from his lips.

"Couldn't get rid of me if you tried, sweetheart."

"You can't sweet-talk your way out of buying me a new glass."

"Wouldn't dream of it," He said. Looking past you, he stared at the mess in the floor. "Should clean it up," He groaned.

"Leave it, I'll get it in the morning."

He didn't fight you in that, thankfully. Usually he would put up a fuss, but he seemed to be so exhausted he didn't have much room for arguing.

You stood to your feet.

"Let's go to bed."

"Better shower first, reckon I smell."

"A little, but I won't hold it against you."

"Come with me?" He asked.

You nodded, taking his hand as he stood to his feet.

You helped him strip out of his clothes, unbuttoning his shirt and sliding it off his body. Your eyes crawled over every scar and mark on his chest and torso. He was drenched in sweat, his whole body glistening. You felt the heat emanating off of him. He kept his eyes on you, admiring the way you looked him over.

He yanked the belt from his pants, stepping out of them.

You turned on the shower, warm water beginning to steam up the bathroom. You lifted your shirt over your head, taking your shorts off next. In the haze, he found your eyes, his hand on your waist, grounding him. He'd never experienced anything like what you gave him; unquestionable love, freedom, a life worth more than what the military offered. It made him feel valued, like he had a chance at being worthy of you.

He sighed with relief when the warm stream hit him, his shoulders relaxing when he felt you touch him. His arms reached out, fingers on your waist as he pulled you close. You let your head settle on his chest, listening to his breaths as you stood together, in the embrace of the water.

He tilted your jaw to look at him, and once your eyes connected, he craned his neck to press his lips against yours.

It was a simple peck, at first. A thank you, expressed in the best way he knew how. You stood on your toes, your hand sliding around his shoulders, and took his bottom lip between yours. Another kiss, more passionate than before, that said you were there, permanent.

He didn't let you go, engulfing your lips in his. You whimpered softly; you missed the way he felt against you, the way his lips fit perfectly with yours. His rough hands on your waist made your stomach flutter, your heart pounding in your throat as he caressed you.

His hands slid to your ass, grabbing at it softly- testing the waters. Exhausted or not, he missed your body, your voice, and he was more than willing to sacrifice sleep for it.

When a soft moan slipped from your throat, he took the opportunity to dig his fingers into your flesh. You shivered with anticipation, sliding your tongue into his mouth.

He grunted, his calloused palms riding up to your hips, ushering you against the wall. He dropped to one knee, hoisting your leg over his shoulder.

"Simon, you don't have t-"

He looked up at you, "I need to taste you, sweetheart. Been far too long."

You nodded, "Okay."

He pressed his lips to your hip bones, and you nearly melted- his soft tongue gliding over your skin. Nothing warmed you inside and out like his mouth. Your palms pressed flat against the shower wall, the cool tile keeping you mostly grounded, reminding you to breathe, to stand still.

He kissed your inner thigh softly, reaching your pussy before his tongue dove between it, hitting your clit. Your hips jerked forward, letting out a soft gasp. He had your thighs in a vice-grip, unable to bend or break in his hands.

He paid attention to your body, lightening his touch even though he wanted to devour you- to fill your head with nothing but pleasure, not a single thought about anything else.

Your shaky hand reached out, fingers diving into his hair, grasping ever so slightly. He groaned against your core, the vibration sending a tingle through your spine.

He looked up, his lips engulfing your clit and sucking gently. He savoured the sight of you, head tilted back, chest rising and falling with your deep breaths, body glistening under the water.

"Pussy tastes just like I remember," He said, watching your cheeks flush. "So fuckin' good."

You panted, your hips mindlessly grinding against his tongue as he flicked it over your clit. He listened to the sounds of his efforts; your sweet voice, calling his name- it spurred his desire tenfold.

His finger grazed your entrance, teasing you with the idea for a moment, before ending your misery and sliding his thick finger inside of you. The silky flesh of your pussy welcomed his finger with the slippery juices inside you.

He felt the familiar fluttering, the shaking in your voice, your pussy squeezing around his finger, and continued his ministrations.

"Go on, cum, sweetheart. Miss that beautiful face."

You sighed deeply, your abdomen burning as your climax built quickly. You felt yourself getting weaker, your body focusing all its energy into your orgasm.

Letting out a strangled moan, your body tensed when you came, his tongue and finger extending the longevity of your climax. You writhed against his face, jerking when he ran over your clit.

He stood to his feet, towering over you again. He lifted your leg, urging you to lift the other while he lifted you to his waist.

"This alright?" He asked.

"More than alright," You breathed.

Your hair was disheveled, the wet strands sticking to your skin. You were still flushed, your body still weak from your orgasm. It had been a long time since you'd had one, and the first release was like taking a sip of water in a drought.

He pressed the tip of his cock to your entrance, your head falling to watch as he slid inside you, jaw dropping as you watched his cock disappear. You groaned, listening to him suck in a deep breath.

"I missed you, Simon," You said, lips attaching to his neck.

He thrusted a couple times, slow and calculated movements to get himself coated in your juices, before he sped up his pace. Your lips were stopped in the process, clinging to his jaw as he drove his cock into you, actively hitting your clit with his pelvis. You shivered, overstimulated but wanting more, desperately.

"Missed you even more, love," He breathed, nose against your jaw.

Your fingers hooked under his arms, grasping at his shoulders as he rounded his hips, plunging inside you, just barely skimming your cervix. It nearly knocked the air from your lungs, and your fingers grasped at his back, desperate to be closer to him.

Your fingers reached for your clit, circling the bundle of nerves as he massaged your insides. He was nearly gasping, watching you writhe and shake on his cock as you rubbed your clit.

You threw your head against the wall, eyes squeezing shut, your hand reached out flat for balance as he readjusted, lifting you up higher. The new angle drew a gasp from your lips, his cock buried against your G-spot, fingers still working your clit.

"My beautiful girl," He cooed, hands squeezing the backs of your thighs.

You leaned forward, your hands clinging to his jaw. Your lips were inches from his, relishing in the moment of intimacy, the pleasure that coursed from your core to every other part of your body.

You didn't have a moment to respond when your clit began to tingle, sparks of pleasure erupting before a symphony of ecstasy. It engulfed your entire body, toes curling mid-air, your thighs clenching, pussy contracting around his cock.

"Bloody fuckin' hell," He grunted.

"Simon- don't stop," You whimpered.

He thrusted harder now, resigned to watching you gasp and moan on his cock. He was no longer paying attention to his impending climax, but your expression of pleasure- lips wet with the shower water, eyebrows drawn together, cheeks flushed- drove him over the edge.

He rolled his hips a few more times, releasing inside you. His hips jerked, soft grunts coming from his open mouth. His eyes were locked on your pussy, swallowing every last drop of his cum.

"Christ," He breathed, his head falling to the crook of your neck.

Your hand landed on the back of his neck, grasping at his hair.

You stood like that for a few moments, letting the shower water wash over you, enjoying the post-orgasm bliss together.

He finally set your legs down, making sure you weren't too sore or cramped from the position to stand, he held your waist.

You finally caught your breath, looking up at him with wet eyelashes.

"Want me to wash your back?" You asked, sending him a small smile.

He nodded. "Don't get carried away, you're a bit of a pervert."

"That't not true- I'm just making sure you're clean," You raised your brows.

"Perverted, is what I call it."

"You're the same way when you wash my tits," You said.

"I'm a soldier, trained for absolute perfection, sweetheart."

You rolled your eyes.

"Those things have to pass inspection, or it ain't done right," He teased.

"Whose inspection, Simon?"

"Mine-"

"Yours, yeah. I'd say that's a conflict of interest."

"I'd say it's regulation. Didn't complain when I was inspectin' your cunt."

He voice was low, no inflection of sarcasm to be found, but you knew better. You knew Simon well. You smacked his arm playfully, a laugh coming from the back of your throat.

"You're disgusting. Turn around," You groaned, hiding your bashful smile.

"Watch those hands, soldier."

Some Phantom Menace photo edits 😏

ppl are so annoying “you can’t paint ur bedroom pink you’re an adult” i did not spend my entire life waiting to grow up and control my life to paint my bedroom beige

I had a sales woman in furniture store try and tell me not to buy a hot bubblegum pink loveseat because she wanted me to “think about the future”

Bitch, I am thinking about the future. I already got a hot bubblegum pink couch at home and now I need a loveseat to go with it.

when I first bought my house, I announced my decision to paint my bedroom purple. I had wanted a purple bedroom for thirty damn years, you fucking bet I was gonna have one now. My friends decided, for some reason, that I meant what one of them referred to as “14 year old girl purple” (through what’s wrong with the colors a 14 year old girl chooses, I don’t know, even if they’re not what I want as an adult). They didn’t believe me until they saw the color on the actual wall, even thought they helped me pick out paints. My mother, meanwhile, decided to get worried that if I painted my bedroom a “dark purple”, it would be “depressing”. As if, with an entire house to live in, I would spend all my time in the bedroom, which I wanted to be dark because I would be sleeping in there. In the damn dark.

I had like one, maybe two friends who were all like FUCK YEAH YOU PAINT IT WHATEVER COLOR YOU WANT, PURPLE BEDROOMS ARE AWESOME.

But when they actualy saw the finished bedroom, every single one of them was like, “Oh yeah, that’s really pretty.” (Well, the ones who supported me from the beginning were more like WOOHOO.)

And the moral of the story is: Fuck ‘em, please yourself. Either they’ll come around, or you can safely ignore every question of taste they opine about for the rest of time.

This applies to other adulting activities, too. When I was a kid, I decided that I wanted to have a wedding cake made of doughnuts. When I got older, I figured that I would be “mature” about it and get a traditional cake, which the older adults approved of. Now that I’m 25 and facing the possibility of actual marriage in the near future, I’m just like “marriage is a social construct but it comes with tax & insurance benefits, so just give me that goddamn doughnut cake.” If they don’t like it then they don’t have to come to my wedding.

https://xkcd.com/150/

I would like you all to view my office. I’m thirty and my rainbow room is awesome, people can fight me

I’m thirty and my first big furniture purchase was a custom coffin shaped coffee table that opens up and is lined with purple crushed velvet. I would have loved it at 13 and I love it now. Growing up doesn’t mean you have to abandon what makes you happy.

GROWING UP DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE TO ABANDON WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY.

GROWING UP DOESN’T

MEAN YOU HAVE TO ABANDON

WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

Nothing kinky, but this is important

Just scuttles ahead and jumps right on a foot when he's had enough of walking. Auntie Fennec almost sent him flying once!

Just thinking about sitting with Sevika on a Sunday night. Eating an early home cooked dinner you made. After dinner, snuggling up on the couch to watch cheesy Christmas movies together. Having matching pajamas with fuzzy socks. Wrapped up in a cozy blanket with your lover. 

I will never get over Mando bitching about how much he hates droids, and then the first droid we see him interact with he helps said droid up after it gets shot and asks it if it's okay. Like...... my guy, I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, but you're a sweetheart.

This gif out of context is so funny because Crosshair is there, rifle pulled out ready to fucken FIGHT and someone told him "Crosshair no" and he's like

( s i g h ) F i n e . . .

Konig: Pick your guts off the floor!

(Y/n): I wish this man would rearrange my guts so I could pick them off the floor

Soap: (y/n) you realize your coms still on right?

(Y/n) chuckles deviously: oh is it!? I had no idea…. 😉

Konig flustered: Scheisse…

Tactical Princess

König |Cod/Mw2|

Summary: One thing leads to another and you find yourself sandwiched inbetween your boyfriend and your new boy toy.

Pairing: König & Simon 'GHOST' Riley X Fem!Reader

Warnings: 18+ Smut MDNI, Dom König & Simon, Sub To Brat To Sub Reader, Heavy Degrading, Minimal Praising, Simon Being Heavily British, Google Translated German Speach From König, Face Slapping, Thigh Slapping, Ass Slapping, Tossing/Pushing Reader Around, Vaginal Sex, Choking, Sadistic König, Multiple CreamPies, Size Difference, Size Kink, Consensual, MM4F, Fingering, Squirting, Oral |M| Receiving, Facial, Come In Mouth, Manhandling, Established Relationship, Vaginal CreamPie, Double Penetration, Penetration Encouragement, Sex In Livingroom, Sex On Couch, Sex In Bedroom, Sex Standing Up, Spooning Sex Position, Cuddling Ending, Poly Ending?.

Author's Note: Chuga Chuga Chuga Chuga Chuga Chuga- CHOO CHOOO!

OMG I snapped on this ngl. PT2?

I now have 300 followers. I love all of you Bunni's so muchhhhh.😭💕

UPDATE: PART TWO IS OTW!!

____

can we stop saying ppl are weird for eating bland or "childish" food please. thanks

i have arfid. i also have clinical depression. between those two things, if i dont eat something i really like the taste of then i will just not eat. because everything seems pointless or gross to me. please. i guarantee you no ones just choosing to have vitamin deficiencies bc they feel like it.

sometimes all people can muster for dinner is cup noodles and a microwave hot chocolate and you know what thats fine actually bc they ate something and thats def better than Not eating something

I had to steal these from a d*ily m*il article but AG has released a book promoting body diversity and love, which includes parts supporting trans kids!

Conservatives are ofc throwing a fit rn– so over here in our trans-inclusive space, let’s show overwhelming support for this book! Esp with the recent h*rry p*tter collab, let’s show AG that we want them to continue supporting ALL women!

Anyway, if anyone is interested in the book, it’s available here:

https://www.amazon.com/Smart-Girls-Guide-yourself-celebrate/dp/1683371909/ref=sr_1_1

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-smart-girls-guide-mel-hammond/1140905112?ean=9781683371908

https://www.americangirl.com/products/a-smart-girls-guide-body-image-book-hgv01

Conservatives have been trying to review-bomb it, and various people are claiming they’re returning all of their Christmas presents to American Girl and so forth. So, if you have the means and inclination, it might be cool to grab a copy and stick it in a Little Free Library or something.

“This character is dead in canon” to you. They’re dead in canon to you. To me they’re fine

okay but can i eat that

Forbidden cake

This is not a cake of honor.

No esteemed goodies are baked here

Outta the way, I'm getting me some fuckin tiramisu.

My body has been severely poisoned by radiation.

I use TikTok audio wisely