today, i can’t be. i am too tired to be.

[fatima aamer bilal, from my heart has claws // stephen ellcock // langston hughes // david hettinger // susan sontag, from the dummy // mayday parade, from i’d rather make mistakes than nothing at all //ramon casas // lana del rey, from hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have — but i have it // daniel f. gerhartz // sylvia plath, from the bell jar]

did you guys see the poem from a couple of days ago in poetry dot org’s daily poem it was so good and a treat to read 

been thinking about it since i read it 

— sunlight, coffee & books

i know kindness exists because i am kind

"people aren't good"

i am people. i am good

you are wrong

if you are capable of it then so are others

be your own proof of concept

This is what I tell people who didn't even ask about my cat

hope is a skill

hope is a weapon you are trained to wield

favourite additions

kylie_n_bright

If you are like me with the anxiety and the depression and the executive dysfunction

- DON’T say to yourself “I need to take a shower”

-showering is a long multistage process that requires you to be vulnerable (naked, wet, blots out sound, what if someone calls/rings the doorbell, etc)

-INSTEAD say to yourself “I’m just gonna go turn on the water right quick”

-small one step task checked off your list

-your anxiety brain is a dumb motherfucker and it will be none the wiser that you have tricked it into BEGINNING the shower process

-once the water is running you are already there in the bathroom with the water running so you might as well finish the job

NOTE that this trick works for like. Fucking everything.

-Don’t “work on your WIP”– just open the document

-don’t “make the scary phone call” – just pull up the number in your contacts

-don’t “make lunch” – just pull out a loaf of bread

-don’t “do the dishes” – just open the dishwasher. Literally just open it

Remember ur anxiety brain is a dumb motherfucker and that you CAN therefore TRICK it into being functional

also bonus tip: for those times when u just need to lie on the floor and be a worthless lump of anxiety-ridden garbage for a few hours, download Duolingo and pick a language. Are you going to be fluent in a week? No. But it’s easy to focus on and that way when you’ve been down there for half a day and your shitty fukken brain is trying to convince you you’re garbage because it KEPT you there, you can counter with “excuse you I just spent the last four hours TEACHING MYSELF A FOREIGN LANGUAGE you punk ass bitch.”

Good luck out there kids I believe in u

Motivation and initiation energy are two of the hardest fucking things. Inertia is challenging to overcome. This is GREAT advice.

May I also add— if you can do the first step commit to 5-10min. At the end of those 5-10min you may be shocked to discover you can keep going— momentum bitches. And, if you can’t, it’s a good indication that rest is needed more than whatever task you’re trying to accomplish.

15.02.2022

— Clementine von Radics