Suh, we're the Emergency Broadcast System. We consist of ~7 alters. You can call us Seb/Sebastian and they/them pronouns collectively.
DNI IF YOU'RE BELOW 16 (if you're 16 I'd prefer if you only interact if you're closer to 17 than 15)
We are autistic. Tone indicators greatly appreciated.
We are a sub-system part of a larger DID system, found here: @mentoillnessposting
My dumbass has been diagnosed twice with DID but I still want to ask my therapist if I can be tested again to be sure lol
At the end of the day ik that the label you put to your experience doesn't really matter, but I hate that so much of DID testing is self disclosing. I wish I could give like my roommate a test to see what they think and what symptoms they've noticed, because what's the point if I think I experience when I have very little insight?
A lot of the questions especially on the MID (which tests for OSDDID, BPD, PTSD, etc.) I found myself going "Well, these are questions that I may only be answering a certain way because I think I might have DID." Especially the ones like "You feel like you have multiple people in your head" and "You feel like there's another person in your head who comes out and speaks for you." If I hadn't been told prior that I'm experiencing DID, would I have answered those the way I did? I'm not entirely sure.
Idk I feel bad wanting to seek assurance from my therapist, because I'm already diagnosed and maybe I'd just be wasting my and my therapist's time, but eeugh idk doubt sucks :/ I might just ask briefly about a test I can give to my roommate so I can at least get some external input from others
My therapist (a DID specialist): You definitely have DID
Me (in perpetual denial): Damn... I managed to fool her as well. Truly my faking knows no bounds.
one day you think: I want to die. and then you think, very quietly: actually. actually. I think I want a coffee. a nap. a sandwich. a book. and I want to die turns day by day into want to go home, I want to walk in the woods, I want to see my friend, I want to sit in the sun, I want a cleaner kitchen, I want a better job, I want to live somewhere else. I want to live.
- via duckbunny
Every time I find myself wanting to tell someone close to me I have DID I always get caught up on the fact that the majority of people don't experience this and wouldn't understand it intrinsically. It makes me feel like there's a huge communication barrier that I can't truly encapsulate, because the concept that people don't have alters is hard for me to understand. The fact people don't function in life like this and wouldn't get it how I get it makes me so hesitant to tell people what's going on. It feels so natural for me that it's actively difficult to explain. It would be like trying to explain breathing to someone who doesn't breathe
next week I'll front during therapy and I'll explain everything so much better and win at therapy. ok didnt front um next week I'll
I've had to block a few people so reminder: don't follow me if you're bodily below 16 y/o!
Others and systems who dehumanize and talk down on the persecutors rather than trying to understand and/or help them need to understand that these alters are also just as traumatized. They need guidance and help just like every other alter within the system.
It can be challenging to do so when it comes to persecutors, but that doesn’t mean you should mistreat and shame them.
OSDDID community, please remember that, yes, most cases of DID are covert, but not all cases. I am an overt DID system, my alters act extremely different from me and this has repeatedly caused me issues throughout my whole life. It has made navigating this disorder extremely difficult for me and has made people other me a lot. People have almost called emergency services on me for how differently I start acting when certain alters front. I physically cannot hide my symptoms. My symptoms have always been pointed out by others and I was very much estranged from and bullied by people around me for it. Even teachers would badger me over my symptoms.
It gets really tiring and demotivating seeing people saying over and over that "DID is covert," "DID is hidden," "DID never makes itself known" when all my life my DID has been overt, has never been hidden, and has made itself known. It makes me feel like my existence is inconvenient to address because people want to feel better about their experiences. But what about my experiences? It makes me feel isolated from the community because people are constantly saying that my experience is not real which has driven me further and further away from OSDDID communities because there's such scorn for the idea that overt systems do exist.
You can absolutely acknowledge that OSDDID most of the time is covert and not spotted by others. A lot of people do end up figuring out symptoms purely on their own and others doubt their symptoms because they are not obvious enough, and that sucks. But please do not then assume your experience is the only one and that overt systems are some made up concept or that OSDDID is inherently covert. We do exist and we need a place within the community as well
there is a very real tendency of teenagers with anxiety disorders self diagnosing with considerably more stigmatized and impairing mental illnesses (e.g. schizophrenia, DID, personality disorders), but the best response to that isn't to get angry with them for "appropriating" lol. instead you show them coping resources for the problems they're actually having and deemphasize diagnostic categories in general. if an 18 year old is claiming to have alzheimer's, they're probably making an innocent mistake and are in genuine distress. be kind.
Also I think this trend comes, at least in part, from how brushed aside anxiety disorders can be. If your parents and teachers dismiss you with 'oh everyone feels anxious', then inevitably you're going to start thinking that there must be something else going on with you
”You must feel very scared right now; let’s talk about how to help you personally, tailored to your symptoms” will always be more helpful than “stop faking (X) for attention”. If theyre that desperate for attention or an explanation, something is wrong.
And like, at least some of them are probably right. Yeah these disorders are less common than things like anxiety disorders, but they are more common than you think they are. Like, they probably shouldn't self diagnose without doing a reasonable amount of research and talking to a professional if possible, but not every single one of them is wrong, and being wrong about something is not the same thing as lying about having something you don't. Be nice to teenagers they're still learning
Ngl when I first heard "explosive PTSD" I thought it was gonna be some crazy shit but turns out it just means that my PTSD caused other issues (like DID, NSD, etc.) :/ Lame
Fronting feelz like shit- I feel bad the whole system feels bad why am I even out here? Let me back in whore (my brain)!!
identity as a system is so fucked because for the past 4 years we’ve very clearly and aggressively identified as a trans man but now a lot of our frequent fronters and hosts identify as nonbinary and sometimes femininely so now it’s like “well how do we explain this one to people who don’t know we’re a system”
I was sitting here wondering how tf time had gone so fast then I remembered we only front like 4 months out of the year lmao
I feel like I've only gone through small chunks of my life due to DID, and sometimes I find stuff out about myself that I know realistically speaking I should've known for years. Sometimes it can be frustrating, but I also feel myself drawn to finding out how I perceive the world. The love I feel, the digust, the craving, the passion; it's all so new to me and fascinating. I want to consume everything about the world to see how the guttural feelings I didn't even know I had come out. It's almost like gaining a sense you never had before.
well one thing remains the same: i'm still made up of stars.
Okay I can't believe I have to say this: I am 100% against fakeclaiming. Meaning if you even squint in the direction of someone who says they have OSDDID, I don't want you near me. My last post was explicitly anti-fakeclaiming, and if you read it as some mild in-between of "Well, I don't mind it when people fakeclaim in SOME instances uwu" NO. Not a single one.
Fakeclaiming completely destroyed my ability to trust my mental health professionals. I was convinced they'd believe I was faking it. I haven't told most people in my life despite desperately needing accommodation, because the first (and only) time I opened up about it to someone, they instantly fakeclaimed me. I already doubted myself and it took me MONTHS to disclose my DID symptoms to my psychiatrist because I was so scared I was secretly faking it. I still cannot properly believe myself, and I was diagnosed nearly a YEAR ago. I have been petrified of being open as a system out of fear of being harassed on the streets.
Fakeclaimers cannot see that they are damaging people with OSDDID, because they've convinced themselves their fakeclaiming exists in a bubble. They thrash wildly in every direction and just hope they're mostly taking down fakers. But if they take down actual systems? Collateral. Maybe don't act like such a faker next time. There was literally no part during my life where I felt as though fakeclaimers AT ALL helped me. There was no point in my life where I ever wished "Man, I just really hope this random 14-year-old system on TikTok gets harassed or I'm gonna have a rough day."
You know what I've wished for? I wished I knew for certain my friends and family would believe me. I wish I didn't have to be worried that the first words off my mental health professionals' lips would be "You're making that up." I wish I could be open about this illness when I'm more stable and it's less dangerous for me without the risk of people assuming my openness came from a lack of pain and understanding, rather than a domination of it. I wish I could casually bring up I'm a system in conversations without being worried that someone is going to interrogate me. I wish I didn't fear waking up one day to someone deeming me one of the cringe systems and launching a harassment campaign against me.
Fakeclaimers are actively stripping this reality away from me. So I'm going to make it clear again: I am not on your side. I am not some mild in-between of "Sometimes fakeclaiming is okay!" If you fakeclaim people, even the ""real fakers"", get away from me. If you actually gave a shit about systems, you would be using that energy to prop up systems and OSDDID resources, not harassing random internet users.
So annoying how people will see systems with multiple psychiatric disorders as proof of malingering even though it's more common for people with OSDDID to have a lot of disorders than not. Research papers show people with DID have on average 5-6+ axis-I disorders alone, but people will still shit on systems with large amounts of diagnoses and be like "Omg they're collecting mental illnesses like pokemon cards what a faker!!" I'm getting real sick of ignorant ass fakeclaimers not doing 2 seconds of research.
