The fourth little pig built his house out of wolf skulls. It wasn’t very sturdy, but it sent a message.
If I read something on the asks that feels genuinely threatening or dangerous, or that's actually abusive, I just delete it and block the person.
If I'm answering an ask here you can assume that as far as I'm concerned even if it's apparently threatening or angry, it's meant humorously or with love.
It's never appropriate to dogpile people. Never appropriate to threaten or abuse them, even if you think you are doing it for me and with the best of intentions. Don't.
If you are upset on my behalf, or on behalf of all Tumblr users, just think "this is probably a tone-deaf attempt at humour" and let it go.
Reblogging because I'm seeing people upset or offended on my behalf. To repeat, If I'm answering an ask here you can assume that as far as I'm concerned even if it's apparently threatening or angry, it's meant humorously or with love.
If I think something is actually unpleasant or bad, I'll just block them.
Don't dogpile on my behalf. I don't want you to, I think it's actively a bad idea, and it's bullying. (Remember: it can still be bullying when more than one of you turn up, even when you think you're in the right or the aggrieved party.)
Play nice, never attribute to malice what can easily be attributed to internet-caused text-based tone-deafness or misinterpretation, and everyone will have an easier time.
Who when they controlled my toy said bark for Daddy? I need to know!
As a lesbian, it’s happened twice already that one “guy” stands out to me and I think “huh maybe they’re kinda cute and interesting, I wanna get to know them” and then I get to know them better and it’s a closeted trans girl who I somehow sniffed with my little nonbinary lesbian nose
IT JUST HAPPENED FOR A THIRD TIME!!!!
You guys will never believe what just happened to me
What does it mean if every “man” I’ve been attracted to was actually a trans woman? Idk what this says about my sexual orientation but it does mean I have astounding egg-dar
Gays being able to detect trans people of our preferred gender and being able to feel preemptive attraction to them is a phenomenon I was not aware extended to people beyond me
Most of the guys or "guys" I've liked ended up being either transfem or genderweird in some way
Without fail, it would be "this guy feels safer, doesn't feel like other guys feel to be around, I feel better around this person, I'm more attracted to them, the vibe is different, we connect better" and BOOM they're trans
So now the question becomes: what do we call this?? I propose "sniffing"
So now the question
becomes: what do we call this??
I propose “sniffing”
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
autistic girl hug autistic girl kiss
autistic girl marriage autistic girl bliss
professional-chaotic-dumbass
autistic girl KILLING autistic girl HATE
autistic girls MURDER on an autistic girl date
What are we summoning with this incantation
the autistic girl
I have been summoned
So I have been a bit embarrassed to make this post but I was ordered to by @momusu-saval, she took full advantage of my new lovense remote toy today, for over an hour she took control and visciously played with me so that I was moaning and begging for her, I got into a discord call with her and she invited the server to listen to me moan and beg, I got multiple audience members and I loved it, and she made me bark and tell everyone what a slut I am and how much I loved her toying with me and it made me feel amazing she called me a dumb whore, and a slutty bitch for everyone to see and the perfect pet for her letting her play with me and moaning and barking for an audience like a bitch and she made me spasm and have my pathetic cumless orgasm in my cage, and she kept playing with me I couldn't think I had the most fun ever and I can't wait till next time. Having an audience and barling like the dog I am was so amazing and god this is so humiliating🥺🥵🥺🥵🥺🥵🥺🥴🥴🥴🥺🥵🥺🥴🥺🥵🥺🧡🥴🥴😳😳😳😖😖😳😖😳💕😳😖🥴😖😳😖🥵😖🧡🥺🥵😖😳😖😳💕🥵🥴😖😳😖🥹😖😳💕🥵😖😳
-a dumb whore
there is. lizard in the house. what is the polite way to deal with this situation?
i am lacking in social niceties. what are the rules of hospitality in this particular circumstance? truly I've no wish to be rude
I guess maybe trap them under a cup and put them outside?
attempted to diplomatically put forth this suggestion, at which point negotiations broke down. the lizard has scampered, and is currently hiding either within or behind the closet. tumblr please instruct on proper protocol
- a few of you instructed me to instruct the lizard to pay rent. this feels remarkably ungenerous to me. you don't know that lizard's personal circumstances.
- far far more of you instructed me to pay the lizard rent, as the property in question now belongs to the lizard. This is correct and I thank you for the sound legal advice.
Well now I have a lovense so I officially an be remote controlled if anyone is interested 👉👈
Okay so tails, lets start with the fact they are aesthetically pretty and cool, and it would be really cool if people could have different types of tails, monkey, dog, bunny, etc.
And like it would apparently be healthy for our spines
They help with balance and a clumsy girl like me could use all the help she could get
But I think the best part would have to be the humiliation aspect that would happen on so many levels, especially for a girl like me
Like yes haha someone says I loo pretty or that I am a good girl and that tail will go wagging like crazy!
But a friend calling me a dumb bitch when I do something silly or clumsy and the tail starts wagging omg, the uh um oh fuck everyone would know I like being bullied and they would know exactly what it is you like and don't like and oh god I am getting embarrassed just thinking about it
Thank you @puppygirl-hornyposting for inspiring this post
I’d play totally oblivious to get more people’s attention
“My tail’s quivering? You’re just imagining what you want to see, hun…”
Yes you are so powerful this is exactly right
They'd also make excellent handlebars
Babe you all right? That's a lot of thoughts for a single mind.
call that autism speaks
Autism won't be speaking while that dick is in my mouth
pastassassins
reblog if your name isn't Amanda.
2,121,566 people are not Amanda and counting!
We’ll find you Amanda.
this has almost 11 million notes what is this
I’ve never seen this post once in 10 years on this site
I’ve never even heard of this before tho??? Wtf??????????
oh my god, I didn’t think there were any surviving versions of this post left
For those who weren’t around in the Deep Lore times, this is one of the relics of the editable post era. This post has THE SINGLE HIGHEST NOTES of ANY post on this site, bar none, but with more than a dozen variations. Every single post you’ve ever seen with more than 3 million notes has been a different version of this one.
This is the “Dean’s Gym Shorts” post. This is the Flubber post. This is the original “Reblog if you support gay people” post. it was ALL of them. before half the site got nuked, it had even more notes than it has now - at one point, well over 15 million, and that was years ago.
This, with no exaggeration, is the ONE TRUE heritage post
World Heritage Post
HOW AREN'T THERE MORE TUMBLR POSTS ABOUT THE GIANT AIRSHIP THE AIRLANDER 10 WHY DID I ONLY JUST FIND OUT ABOUT IT
IT LOOKS WORSE AT EVERY ANGLE
NO
"What the hell is that?"
"I dunno... It looks like a giant-"
"BUM! Yeah you bum, get outta here you freeloadin'... what is that?"
"Dunno, Kinda looks like a huge-"
"BOOTY! Arr, so much booty, mateys!"
"Captain, look there off the port bow! It looks like a pair o' massive-"
"BUNS! Get your hot cross buns here!"
"I'll take... what the hell is that up there?" "Huh, it sort of looks like my wife's-"
"FANNY! Aunt Fanny, there's something in the sky! It's round and has a big-"
"CRACK! Yes, a million dollars worth of crack were seized in... breaking news, I just received word that a large flying object has been spotted in the sky, shaped like someone's-"
"CABOOSE!" "That's right kids, the end of the train is called the caboose!"
"Teacher, look up there! It looks like a gigantic-"
"ASS!"
"What?"
"Whoever designed this aircraft is a complete ass! I mean look at it; you might as well give it a huge-"
"JOHNSON! Get over here..."
People who sculpt in marble do fabrics and shit just to flex don’t they
Marble is a medium in which you can be horny on main and everyone’s like “wow that’s classy.”
I think having skills to construct flesh out of stone gives you as much right to be horny on main as any creator god.
went to the cop slide and got yelled at by a cop
@solardrifter the park is closed i think but also it’s being patrolled by people who hate fun
I demand vampires with parent issues. the parents in question have been dead for 7 centuries but their immortal offspring still bring them up every week in therapy
and no i don't mean their vampiric sire aka the rando who bit them in the woods one night and fucked off. i mean like the 14th cent stonemason who refused to let his kid apprentice with a traveling bard, because that's just not solid steady work, not like this here cathedral we've been building for generations, this is a respectable family business my lad, a blessing fallen right into your lap! and you going on and on about the hurdy-gurdy. traveling minstrel indeed!