dreams are insaaaane. every night theres a chance ill experience some sort of delight or horror that has the chance to color the entire next day. and it doesnt even require a monthly subscription

we ask that the defense not say "me when i lie" while the witness testifies

Retaliation

Research

Koremitsu doesn't want to be touched now.

惟光は今触られたくないみたい。

Koremitsu doesn't want to be spoken to now.

惟光は今話しかけられたくない。

its fucking with me that they're all laid out like its a drug bust lmao

PHOTOGRAPHY: Gregory Crewdson 

Legendary photography Gregory Crewdson works within a photographic tradition that combines the documentary style of William Eggleston and Walker Evans with the dream-like vision of filmmakers such as Stephen Spielberg and David Lynch.

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give that girl a grilled cheese

Strong Bad got invited to be on Hot Ones but declined because of his dearly held belief that ones should be cold

Get booped by Mr Fresh

i know it’s all just jokes but i think we should fr stop acting like the people around us don’t have inner lives. “npc” becoming an acceptable term to call people is very disturbing to me like genuinely idc if it’s not that deep…. plus the new phenomena of calling things you find no substance in “coworker music/movies/etc” like i get the conceit of the joke but i think when you refer to other people in that way consistently, you start to genuinely become convinced that people are just there to fill the background of your life, that they don’t have hobbies or families or lives beyond what you perceive, and that’s so bad. that’s sooooo bad to think of people

im the bug that your parents say is more scared of you than you are of me

There is absolutely nothing you could make up about American politics. Imagination is dead. It's useless.

taylor swift fans heads would explode if they encountered the head explosion monster

Customer: (not on record) DMV: LOOKS LIKE LOCO LOOKS LIKE COPS LOOKS LIKE CRAZY COPS OR LOCOPEZ CRAZY LOPEZ CUSTOMER LAST NAME IS LOPEZ Verdict: DENIED