My favourite thing about the latest Twitter meltdown is all the artists reanimating their dead Tumblr accounts today and immediately being greeted with hundreds of notes because even a Tumblr account they literally have not posted to in 3–5 years has more active and engaged followers than the Twitter account that they've been updating daily.
Good/terrible news! There's audio!
bean burritos served at international smash bros convention; resulting catastrophe referred to only as a “bowel shmovement”
screenshots this post and puts it in a folder labeled “WORKSHOP AND REPOST IN 4-6 MONTHS” under the subfolder “TOO HIGH-CONCEPT”
I was looking for batteries then asked my mom where to find them my mom says it's in the drawer "look for the sonic" me confused asked again sonic ??? it's that the name of the battery?? my mom again says no it's the one with the picture of sonic the hedgehog, I will bless everyone with a picture of it
This tweet is laser targeted at me from 6 yrs ago
There must be something about gender and deodorants I do not understand.
When I was 7 and my sister asked me to pick a deodorant for myself and I picked the strawberry scented one she flipped out and angrily told me in all sorts of details that I should pick one for boys and I could not understand what is the connection between gender and strawberry.
Fast forward nearly two decades later and she's the only family member I told directly to never be a part of my life ever again (not for this exact reason, there were a lot of them).
No see it's simple girls smell like nice things like fruit and flowers and guys smell like. Uh. I dunno. Hardtack? Sharks?
Happy ainiverssery! Um. This is all I have im so sorry, I'll probably post something better later LOL
So my mother recently got married (mashallah). And she set up this thing where guests were encouraged to take photos of the proceedings on their phones and text them in to a given number, after which they would be played as a slideshow on a screen at the front of the venue. I want you to take a minute to imagine how this went.
It began just about as you would expect. People taking photos of each other and the décor and taking selfies and having a good time. The slideshow was tasteful. Clearly not “professional,” but nice and personal.
And then people start getting a little drunk. A person who signs their work only as “Moo” posts this masterpiece:
[ID: a vertically oriented photo of a garbage can. A long table draped with lavender fabric at which the bride and groom are seated is in the background. The garbage can is centred in the frame, clearly the focus of the photo. End ID]
Someone at my table notices. “Is that... a photo of a garbage can? What?” We all express confusion and have a chuckle about it. Clearly someone is taking the prompt liberally. But the avant-garde approach to what is worthy of documenting does not end here, and our artist soon enters these submissions into the canon:
[ID: photos of a pendant fire sprinkler, a ceiling vent, a lightswitch, and a door handle. the photos show a casual, non-intensive approach to framing (neither perfectly even nor deliberately askew, &c.) end ID]
Meanwhile someone has uploaded this photo of the groom:
He is sitting at the bride and groom’s table alone with his hands clasped in front of him. I can’t show you his face but he has a bit of stubble and is wearing wire-framed rectangular glasses. I can best describe his vibe to you by saying that he wore this newsie cap to his wedding and this made perfect sense.
Using this photo, someone at our table makes their first few volleys:
[ID: the groom cut out of the photo from before and edited into an empty booth at an empty chain restaurant and an empty movie theatre, respectively. End ID]
At this point, basically everyone except the bride and groom have noticed, and are more or less following the evolution of this guérilla art project. Some people are trying to talk the instigators out of submitting their unworthy photos; others are riling them up.
Moo makes several more of their found object entries:
[ID: a cleaning schedule sign on a bathroom wall; a bathroom sign reading “men”; a digital thermostat; a framed photo of a smiling man, the sign for the men’s bathroom reflected in its glass. end ID]
And it goes back and forth like this for a while, Moo submitting objects (a close-up on the tines of their fork; a mop bucket; a framed fish head) and their nameless collaborator, not be to undone, putting the groom into more situations:
[ID: the groom's head edited onto the body of a cast member in the Broadway musical Newsies, his cap causing him to blend in perfectly; the groom's head edited onto Jamie's head from Mythbusters as he poses next to Adam, his cap causing this edit to be perfectly seamless. end ID]
A further development in the form of these submissions occurs when The Editor invents reappropriation and collage, beginning to edit the groom into photos that other people have uploaded:
[ID: the photo of the groom at the table from earlier, edited so that there are two identical grooms sitting side-by-side: text over their heads reads "Just Married!"; another photo of the groom standing and smiling with a drink in his hand, apparently talking to another groom who is holding his stomach, throwing his head back and laughing aloud. end ID]
Meanwhile, Moo has taken his aesthetic ethos to its only possible logical conclusion:
A photo of a urinal. “Fountain,” Moo, iPhone camera, 2023.
People are now watching the screen even more actively, laughing each time a new silly photo arrives in the stream of genuine submissions. Moo submits a photo of a dented Pringles can seen through a grate in the street outside and a photo of a bag of road-salting ice. The photo of the groom at the table is edited so that he sports a towering Cat-in-the-Hat hat instead of the newsie cap; the groom is edited into an astronaut suit on the moon; he and the bride wearing her fur stole are edited as Jackie O. and JFK in the limo (this last The Editor wisely did not upload but sent only to me).
Not content, however, with editing the groom into non-wedding photos or with sabotaging earnest submissions to the photo album, The Editor proceeds to bring us full circle by reappropriating Moo's recontextualisations, Sherrie Levine-like:
[ID: 1. the photo of the garbage can from earlier, with the groom edited onto the flap that you push garbage through; 2. the groom edited into the photo of the framed photograph from earlier; he has been made greyscale to match the photograph; 3. the photo of the urinal from above, with the groom edited into its bowl. end ID]
The people at Moo’s table (groom’s family) love this last submission ("Urine a Urinal," Anonymous, iPhone camera, 2023). They watch the screen waiting for it to come up again, and when it does, they shout “there it is!” and laugh and clap.
Alas, our destabilisation of what constitutes artistic merit was not allowed to persist. Like the Society of Independent Artists sticking Duchamp’s “Fountain” behind a partition, the bride and groom silently deleted all of the unworthy submissions from the publicly shared album. Luckily, I saw this coming and was able to document the proceedings.
In conclusion, I recommend not crowdsourcing your wedding photos unless you have a very well-developed sense of humour.
Fuck Around and Find Out
We have regular doors on either side of revolving doors because 492 people died at the Cocoanut Grove in 1942. We have radar for air traffic control and the Federal Aviation Administration because two planes collided over the Grand Canyon in 1956. Natural gas smells like that because it didn’t before it blew up the New London school in 1937 and killed around 300 people. We have a LOT of fire safety rules because of the Triangle Shirtwaist factory fire. We have stronger cockpit doors because of 9/11 and stronger security for employees because of Pacific Southwest Flight 1771 and lighted aisles on planes because of Air Canada Flight 797.
I mean, that’s just off the top of my head after getting home from working twelve hours overnight. Two hundred and twelve episodes of @disasterarea-podcast, and nearly all of them involved the disaster in question spawning new regulations or rules to prevent the same thing from happening again.
computer, I need to feel something again, show me Yakuza 3 Kazuma Kiryu Transgender Ally Substory
i cannot stress this enough: if your reasoning for clowning on the mcu is "they overwork their cg artists and animators" i 1000% guarantee that a show or movie you have been stanning for years also abused their artists and you just haven't heard about it because the production companies aren't in the spotlight like mcu productions are. that cartoon for kids? that incredibly animated movie? that non-marvel superhero movie? i've seen people declare their hatred for the way the mcu treats their workers and then turn around and gush about a show that i know for a fact was hell for the artists attached
and no this is NOT me saying "this means you should stop hating on the mcu uwu" it's me saying you gotta be aware that this shit is an INDUSTRY WIDE PROBLEM. you CANNOT "fix" it by refusing to watch mcu movies and feeling good about it. you have to be aware that it's EVERYWHERE. why do you think so many animation and vfx productions are sourced in canada? in india and the phillipines? we are not unionized.
i know it's hard to face the idea that your favourite show might have been made unethically especially when you've spent so much time hating the mcu for doing the same thing. you don't have to start hating your favourite show. just like...be aware. don't be smarmy about it. don't claim without research that a beautifully animated movie Must mean the animators were not working 16 hour days and weekends. i do think we can fix this 👍 but we can't fix it if 90% of us don't even realize what the problem really is
now that it's come out that the spiderverse animators were working unsustainable hours yall need to be aware of this more than ever. even good movies aren't innocent of this. we often see the narrative of "see what happens if you pay animators well and give them time to work?" when it comes to good movies but. that is almost never the case. the artists are still being worked to the bone. the movie being good does not negate this.
"Stop saying 15 year olds with weird interests are cringe, they're 15" this is true however you should also stop saying adults with weird interests are cringe because who gives a shit
To wit:
I want to share some wisdom from my high school art teacher.
In my AP Art class, there was a girl who was just starting to experiment with mixed media. At this point she was still playing around, trying to decide what direction she wanted to go with her portfolio. So one critique day, she brought in an abstract canvas with some rhinestone highlights and painted and real peacock feathers. She loved sparkles and peacock feathers so she thought she’d try introducing them a *little*. And after everyone had given some input, the teacher gave her his advice, VERY roughly paraphrased here:
“So here’s the thing… I do not like this style. These are just elements that do not speak to me personally, but I see that you like them, and you’re doing interesting things with them.
“My biggest critique is, I only merely *dislike* this piece. I want you to make me HATE it. Go crazy with the things that you like. Don’t hold back trying to make it palatable to people like me. Because I am NEVER going to like it. And if the audience does not like it, it should drive them crazy seeing how much YOU love it.”
Her portfolio was chock full of neon colors and glitter and rhinestones and splashes of peacock feathers and it was a delight. Our teacher despised every piece lol, but she got great marks and I think even won some awards. And more importantly, she was happy and proud of the results. Because she didn’t limit herself by trying to appeal to people who were never going to enjoy what she enjoyed.
Takeaway here: be as cringe as you want. Don’t limit yourself based on other ppl’s tastes. They’re not you, and you are incredible 💕
chemistry is so scary what do you mean there’s 118 elements and only 92 of them are naturally occurring?? put those other ones away im serious
generally, they take care of that themselves
happy pride
Age-old advice which is more relevant nowadays rather than less. This is the second iteration of it though. The original version is: “Never write anything in a letter you wouldn’t want to see in print.” Advice handed down by my mother from her forbears.
From the IT department. We archive EVERYTHING. And Outlook autosaves every couple seconds.
eating a jolly rancher filled gummie
certified iconic post
