white noise

welcome to my yeet and greet

big dork energy

i can’t stop watching this i’m …

what the fuck

If you had five billion you could hop from job to job, calling entitled customers idiots all across your city, putting the fear of You into every shithead in town until people become afraid to be rude to servers and cashiers, lest you emerge from the back room like some kind of manners-enforcing specter

sensory overload, or, as i like to call it,

If god wanted us to be heterosexual, he wouldn’t have made boys… like that.

This is a post for both MLM and WLW.

i can never not reblog this

T-Pain: “That was the most beautiful thing in the world. Do you know why she was shaving her head? Because it was so important to other people. She is like, “Listen. Don’t touch my hair anymore. Stop touching my hair.” People were like, “We’ve got to make your hair before you go outside. You can’t leave.” She went … “Now I don’t have hair. What you going to do?”

The older I get the more her breakdown seems less ‘unbalanced’ and more ‘completely understandable’

it’s because other people told you she was unbalanced at a point in your life when you didn’t have the life experience or wisdom to understand otherwise

my date: hey im kinda hungry, u got anything for me to eat???? :)))

me: oh sure :)))

me: [walks over to my fridge and opens it]

me: the blue ones are my favorite u can have as many orange and purple ones as you want

howdy

I’m not taking a chance sis

I have midterms next week soooo bless me sky kitten

she’s distant! she’s incoherent! she’s sensitive! she uses escapism as a coping mechanism! she’s me!!!

Who wants to guess how many bags of peaches are in my dad’s freezer?

The answer is:

Too fucking many

This is gonna make … a lot of jam …….

So, I managed to fit all but one big bowl of peaches into the two stock pots …

An hour and a half later, here they are simmering away …

How long is it gonna take to reduce them to jam, you ask?? Fuck if I know at this size lmao

In case you were wondering, it is, in fact, longer than 5 hours, as I am still stirring this jam over the oven :) :) :)

Oh and also there was another large bowl of peaches in the other fridge that I did not see until later, so I did not in fact fit ALL the peaches into the stock pots

On a brighter note, the whole house smells like a Victorian Christmas dinner

Hello again friends, it is currently REAL JAMMING TIME and I have been in stirring hell for seven hours

Went through two whole containers of pectin and a bunch of cornstarch already and things are looking just PEACHY

So, uh, the first stock pot alone yielded 272 ounces, so I … may have accidentally made about 68 8oz jars of jam …… and I only had 36 jars …

Guess I’m going back to the store tomorrow … and going to have to join the local farmers market to sell them …

Anyway, TEN CONTINUOUS HOURS OF WORK LATER, here I am at around 3am sealing my first batch of jars … (entire other stock pot of jam lurks ominously in the background)

God, it’s like when you overestimate how much pasta you’re gonna end up with, only 300% worse

So I woke up today after sleeping like a log to fibd my dad had already gone back to the store (which is like 30 min away) and gotten me more jars because he saw that I needed them

As you can see one of those pachages is the wrong size jar (4oz) so we’ll see if I can fit all the jam into these suckers (plus the two 8oz ones I had leftover)

My dad also put all the jars of jam in the fridge, although since they were all properly sealed (aw yeah) was totally unnecessary lol

He said he accidentally dropped one on the way to the fridge but I checked and it amazingly A) didn’t break, and B) remained properly sealed, so hats off to Ball corp, and also me I guess

Update: WE BE JAMMIN’

Spices I used for this recipe:

-Cinnamon

-Nutmeg

-Ginger

-Allspice

-Vanilla Extract

The combination worked out very well!

Gotta can the rest of it after I eat tho :P

So, I FINALLY managed to can all the jam, except for like … 6 oz of it, so I made shortbread cookies to use that with ;)

Altogether I did end up with 72 jars of jam, 12 of which are the 4oz size though. What the fuck am I gonna do with all this jam, jesus christ

Anyway, thanks for coming to my jam-filled TED talk guys, take care

send me some jam op

video proof that every creature is dogs

I love deep diving vids cause at least some of these animals have never seen a human before and they all so gagged.

love… is stored in the cat

fuck what anyone says about crows ive seen them myself and have concluded i love them

Loooooooong

arrested for longitudinal crimes

dude has an entire dang lynx hanging from his hands like the world’s furriest slinky and there’s people just staring at their computers instead