catch me in target lusting after kitchenware like a 45 year old mother of three

human brain: im angry

gorilla brain: hit something

chimpanzee brain: scream

orangutan brain: sit in silent contempt and eat fruit

gorillaz brain: feel good

friendly reminder use your turn signal

hey I’m from tennessee i don’t understand this post?

show this post to the horse you ride around on he’ll take it from there

FUCK. honestly just FUCK. We missed a very important day yesterday.

what was yesterday, cat?

I’m not missing it this year.

I want to be someone’s favorite person to talk to.

mutuals, try this

i dare you

try what

oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you?

Tumblir mobile: you have five new notifications!

Me: oh can I see them

Tumblr mobly: hehe

Me: May I See Them

Tumblr: :)

my dance style ranges from white dad at a barbecue to stripper whose rent is due tomorrow

It’s science

*epidemic of porn bots breaks out due to tumblr’s own negligence*

tumblr staff:  We will fix it (:

If this ain’t the tea, tho.

Yet pornbots still exist

It only got 50% of the porn bots. And 50% legit users.

A perfect balance of bullshit and fucking bull shit.

dear God take care of her when i can’t

Me when I pet a stray cat and it then runs away

“talk dirty to me”

person: i care about u me: ok then why am i not ur entire life??? smh fake

studies suggest that it’s not that deep