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Time is a weird soup

@swordshapedleaves / swordshapedleaves.tumblr.com

They/he 37 I'm mostly all ages but anything spicy I will tag "#blogging for grownups". Any kind of discourse or upsetting current events stuff is tagged "#not positivity".

打鐵花 (da2tie3hua1; struck iron fireworks) is a traditional folk firework that began in Henan and Shanxi, first arising in Queshan county, Henan and later circulating through the whole country. It had first appeared during the Northern Song dynasty, and was most popular during the Ming and Qing dynasties.

For Queshan struck iron fireworks, a two-layer pergola is built and covered with willow branches for performances, under which the molten iron is struck up with two willow sticks to create a rain of fire.

[eng by me + edited an ad out]

(On top of the information in the video, I have some more about its recent history under the cut.)

On Bilibili, in response to a comment about whether you'll get hurt from this or not, she says this:

You still get hurt, my clothes have many holes burned into them, my hands also have a lot of small burns, my hair had burnt off a chunk, and dage-men's* chests and backs are all scars. I only meant the finer it is struck the more difficult it is to get hurt, but when striking tens of times, it won't be perfect every time.

*大哥们 - the plural of dage, dage being a polite address for men

(She say it's all worth it in another comment)

How to clean cutting boards and butcher block counters

A friend on discord said they'd appreciate a cutting board care tutorial so here it is!

Note 1: sometimes wooden counters are treated or sealed. You can still clean them like this but the oils and wax will not absorb into sealed wood.

Note 2: when working with wood, always go with the grain. Follow the lines of the wood when cleaning, oiling, waxing or anything else.

Note 3: this is a messy process that takes hours. I usually do it in my underwear to keep from getting oil on my clothes.

First Step: Clean!

You can use dish soap and hot water on a cutting board but doing it super often can dry them out and cause cracking. I pretty much only use soap if I cut raw meat or something super sticky that won't rinse off.

For countertops I use distilled white vinegar and scrub it with a rag. This won't get the stains out but if I wanted stainless countertops I wouldn't have one made of wood.

This little cart thing is from Ikea and is like a portable kitchen island or countertop. It's raw wood and I use it to cook so it's got all kinds of food stains, even though I wipe it down regularly. I've already cleaned it with vinegar in these photos, but it's been a few months since I've oiled and waxed it. You can see how pale and dry the wood is.

Second Step: Oil!

You want to use mineral oil. It is odorless, flavorless, very unlikely to cause allergic reactions, and cheap. Don't buy cutting board oil. It's just overpriced mineral oil. Don't use a food oil like coconut or flax or almond. They will eventually go rancid and make your cutting board smell rancid. Buy your mineral oil at the drugstore from the laxatives section.

Drizzle that shit on your wood. Be sparing to start as you can always add more.

Rub it in with your hands. You want the wood evenly soaked with oil. Rub it into the whole surface and into the sides as well. If you're doing this to a cutting board, make sure to get every side and edge.

Bare hands work best and the oil will leave your hands so soft. If you use a rag (not recommended!) please be aware that oily rags can spontaneously combust and dispose of them carefully.

I love how the color changes to a richer darker brown as the wood absorbs the oil.

Once you have a nice thick coat of oil on your board, let it hang out for an hour or so to absorb as much of it as it can. If any spots look dry, add more oil. (I admit I skipped the wait this time.)

Step 3: Wax!

Cutting board conditioner is so expensive but really it's just a mix of mineral oil and wax, sometimes with some kind of fragrance added. You can make your own at home for way cheaper, either in the microwave if you're making a small batch or in a double boiler if you wanna make a big batch. You can find a ton of tutorials online for this by searching for "cutting board conditioner recipe" but basically you just melt the wax (beeswax is the best IMO) and mix in some mineral oil. The ratio of wax:oil is a preference thing. I like around 1:3, my sister uses 1:5, I saw someone online who prefers 1:8. Find your own ideal.

I also use mine as lip balm and cuticle cream.

But however you acquire the stuff, it's time to smear it all over your over your cutting board, just like you did the oil. If you're using a softer blend than mine, you will likely need to wipe up any excess oil before waxing.

Rub it in until you have a smooth even coat.

Let it hang out and absorb for another hour or two. I waited about 90 minutes this time. Then wipe off any excess wax with paper towels until the surface is no longer tacky.

Your board our counter is now ready to use again!

Firefly is one of a very few shows I actually wouldn’t mind seeing a reboot of, if it was done with the right intentions by the right people. because the bones and aesthetic and premise of the show are incredible but I think maybe it was just kind of. created too early to actually fulfill the potential it had. like idk what if Firefly, but it was less weird about its female characters and half the cast was actually chinese. I just think that would be cool and interesting to see. and I want more space cowboys and frankly am not terribly picky as to how that happens and reboots are in. get all unknown actors to do it because I’m tired of looking at the same five people.

plus if it gets released on a streaming service we can even get the truly authentic Firefly experience of watching it be cancelled for no reason after season one.

oh yeah also nathan fillion needs to cameo in one episode.

I’d watch it but only if they dropped the Civil War parallels. I do not want to watch Heroic Ex-Confederates anymore, because Confederates were not big damn heroes.

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If they want a ‘but good guys’ remnants of a failed revolution against a larger world power, there are so many rebellions against the British Empire to model their not-confederates after instead!

Or the French! I'd love to see some love for the Haitian revolution!

Transphobic that my dinner will not simply manifest itself when I spent all day doing other chores and now I'm tired and hungry

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even though she died two years before i was born, there were always tabloids in the grocery store about JonBenét Ramsey’s death and “new breaks in the case”. i would always stare at them and wonder who the pretty blonde girl was that died. surprisingly i didn’t know anything about 9/11 until grade school.

the ninth house being called the house of the sewn tongue. the sewn tongue, a ritual quite unlike any other form of necromancy that prevents the subject from speaking on a certain topic. the sewn tongue, which appears to be at least part flesh magic, something very much not typically associated with the ninth, and the only way to subvert it being to remove one's entire jaw. harrow kissing ianthe to confirm the sewn tongue was still in place. alecto kissing/biting harrow and verbally identifying her as the blood of anastasia. anastasia, who believed she had perfected lyctorhood, only to "fail" and "force" john to kill her cavalier to "save" her when she tried. anastasia, who in all likelihood had to be forcibly prevented from speaking the truth. anastasia, who then founded the ninth house to guard alecto and made some arrangement with her. the ninth house, which at terrible cost ensured that the blood of anastasia lasted those ten thousand years. the ninth house, the symbol of which is a jawless skull

Look at this extremely tiny salad I made!

I did it because there were a few extremely small tomatoes in the pint I bought today. They don't even have room for seeds!

Tumblr is giving us a lot of different dashes but the thing is no one wants "for you" so what I propose instead is you give me the ability to make mini-dashes with specific subsets of people I follow. Let me follow 300 people but then sort them into category. Let me have one dash for all my aesthetic stuff, another for news, another for my weird feral friends. Am I the only one who wants this? Maybe. Give it to me anyway.

This would absolutely revolutionize the way I use Tumblr. I would probably spend like 20% more time on Tumblr if I could follow a bunch of people I like but who I do not want on my "these are my friends and idols" dash.

Sumerian Veteran: *has severe PTSD but doesn't know it because the term won't be invented for another 5000 years* I fight the same battle in my dreams every night and my relationship with my family has fallen apart.

Sumerian Healer: *saw hundreds of veterans with the exact same affliction before* You're cursed by desert demons.

actually we have recorded texts of sumerian warriors describing symptoms that closely match ptsd, and the diagnoses was not desert demons, but rather "Those dudes you killed are still attacking you with their ghosts because you killed them"

had to be there i guess

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I told y'all it was a pun

A very long thread on it: https://twitter.com/lmrwanda/status/1505646738627088389?t=06aHTTZkf1ZaJyCDhWUzTg&s=19

And the punchline, if anyone wants to jump there directly: https://twitter.com/lmrwanda/status/1505648702119202823?t=IHkQWeElTa0T63o3lbr12Q&s=19

that's excellent

cracking open a cold one with the sumerian dog

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If you see this post you have to say happy birthday to my lizard

She is ten* now!

She loathes the party hat

but she LOVED the cake.

She is very good and very beautiful and loves people and attention and going on walks.

She is my best friend and I think everybody should say happy birthday to Kaiju!

*Approximately. She was about one when I got her, and I’ve had her for nine years, so we’re calling her ten.

JONATHAN HARKER'S JOURNAL

(Kept in shorthand.)

5 May. The Castle.

remember that i said i was making an animatic for an exam...?

THE DRACULA ANIMATIC HAS ARRIVED !!

Thank you so much for the support on the post i made announcing the animatic itself, it warms my heart to know that people like my silly projects ♡

I hope you all enjoy it as much as i do, and thank you again !! ♡

and if you saw this before... no you didn't yes you did, because this is a repost !! the other post didn't show up when i searched it in the tags so i decided to reupload it.

There was a young man from Peru

Whose limericks stopped at line two

There once was a man from Verdun

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There once was a man from the sticks Whose limericks stopped at line six. They were fine till line five Then they took quite a dive — But the problem is easy to fix If you just ignore the last line, it doesn't even follow the rhyme scheme oh god I've really lost control of this thing I'm so sorry...

There once was a man

From Cork who got limericks

And haiku confused.

There once was a man from the sticks

Who liked to compose limericks

But he failed at the sport

Because he wrote them too short

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There once was a fellow named Dan, Whose poetry never would scan. When told this was so, He replied, "Yes, I know-- It's because I try to squeeze as many syllables into the last line as I possibly can."

On Tumblr did lasses and lads Their way with fail poetry had. You're having your fun But you're fooling no one - It takes skill to do something this bad.

Here's THE masterpost of free and full adaptations, by which I mean that it's a post made by the master.

Anthony and Cleopatra: here's the BBC version

As you like it: you'll find here an outdoor stage adaptation and here the BBC version

Coriolanus: Here's a college play, here's the 1984 telefilm, here's the 2014 one with tom hiddleston

Hamlet: The Kenneth Branagh 1996 Hamlet is here, the 1964 russian version is here and the 1964 american version is here. THe 1964 Broadway production is here, the 1948 Laurence Olivier one is here. And the 1980 version is here. Here are part 1 and 2 of the 1990 BBC adaptation. Have the 2018 Almeida version here.

Henry IV: part 1 and part 2 of the BBC 1989 version. And here's part 1 of a corwall school version.

Henry V: Laurence Olivier (who would have guessed) 1944 version. The 1989 Branagh version here. The BBC version is here.

Julius Caesar: here's the 1979 BBC adaptation, here the 1970 John Gielgud one.

King Lear: Laurence Olivier once again plays in here. And Gregory Kozintsev, who was I think in charge of the russian hamlet, has a king lear here. The 1975 BBC version is here. The Royal Shakespeare Compagny's 2008 version is here. The 1974 version with James Earl Jones is here.

Macbeth: here's the 1961 one with Sean Connery. Here's the 1971 by Roman Polanski, with spanish subtitles. Here's the 1948 www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljZrf_0_CcQ">here. The 1988 BBC onee with portugese subtitles and here the 2001 one). The 1969 radio one with Ian McKellen and Judi Dench is here and the 1966 BBC version is here. The Royal Shakespeare Compagny's 2008 version is here.

Measure for Measure: BBC version here.

The Merchant of Venice: here's a stage version, here's the 1980 movie, here the 1973 Lawrence Olivier movie, here's the 2004 movie.

The Merry Wives of Windsor: the Royal Shakespeare Compagny gives you this movie.

A Midsummer Night's Dream: have this sponsored by the City of Columbia, and here the BBC version.

Much Ado About Nothing: Here is the kenneth branagh version and here the Tennant and Tate 2011 version. Here's the 1984 version.

Othello: A Massachussets Performance here, the 2001 movie her is the Orson Wells movie with portuguese subtitles theree, and a fifteen minutes long lego adaptation here. THen if you want more good ole reliable you've got the BBC version here and there.

Richard II: here is the BBC version

Richard III: here's the 1955 one with Laurence Olivier, and here's the 1995 one with Ian McKellen. (the 1995 one is in english subtitled in spanish. the 1955 one has no subtitles and might have ads since it's on youtube)

Romeo and Juliet: here's the 1988 BBC version.

The Taming of the Shrew: the 1988 BBC version here, the 1929 version here, some Ontario stuff here and here is the 1967 one with Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor.

The Tempest: the 1979 one is here, the 2010 is here. Here is the 1988 one.

Timon of Athens: here is the 1981 movie with Jonathan Pryce,

Troilus and Cressida can be found here

Titus Andronicus: the 1999 movie with Anthony Hopkins here

Twelfth night: here for the BBC, herefor the 1970 version with Alec Guinness, Joan Plowright and Ralph Richardson.

The Winter's Tale: the BBC version is here

Please do contribute if you find more. This is far from exhaustive.

(also look up the original post from time to time for more plays)

Oh, I have additions!

A Misdummer Night Dream: Here’s the 2013 globe production (the one with The Kiss, you know it)

Romeo and Juliet: Here’s the one that was going to be a stage show and then lockdown happened so they filmed it! Stars Josh O’Connor and Jessie Buckley