Mayor of Clown Town

Question for people who think Taylor Swift is straight:

What is so mastermind about a white, beautiful, straight, extremely privileged, billionaire woman playing with numerology and national holidays to tease her boyfriends and drop new albums? How is that some kind of genius move?

…Unless she’s queer and has been locked inside of a glass closet so well that the majority of her fanbase thinks she’s straight and are baffled at the idea that anyone could think she’s dated women while the majority of her queer fans see her for who she is.

Her music, not viewed through a queer lens, is a lot of repeated metaphors / words put to similar melodies and beats. It feels like lazy songwriting to continually use the color blue or golden or to talk about castles and reputations falling apart or to talk about how she can never be with the people she loves because she is scared the world is going to tear her relationship apart — unless there’s something deeper and more long suffering under the surface. If there’s no muse or theme to tie them together, it’s just the same whiney songwriting she’s done for the last several years that the majority of people called out when she came into the music industry. Like, she would still be a good songwriter, but whiney and repetitive music about how you’re always heartbroken (and yet also switching out kens and playing men and using them as play things???) for straight white girls is not magical. Sorry.

If I thought she was straight, I would think she’s a great performer or a generous artist or a kind woman, but mastermind would not be one of the descriptors I would use because the idea of a rich princess getting what she wants and hopping from mediocre white boy to white boy like they’re lily pads and exploiting the queer community for your financial gain is not really something I would consider to be “mastermind” behavior. In fact, I probably wouldn’t even still be a fan of Taylor’s.

But you know what’s mastermind behavior to me? Secretly telling the world that the fear of cancelation for you is not the same as the fear of cancelation for everyone else because you’ve been groomed to be America’s sweetheart in the eyes of the public (so much so that even when you’re giving a sexy lap dance to a mostly female audience people still bring their children to the show) and your fanbase is a massive group of straight girls who have grown up with you and who think your music is autobiographical and that you dating Matty Healy is the same as them dating the shitty guy they’re hung up on. Mastermind behavior is using men in your public persona and in your songs as a shield to protect your true heart and the people you’re actually in love with and using little hints to your queer fans to connect with them and share your love in the only safe space you can find within your fandom. Mastermind behavior is being able to hide in plain sight to the point where you can use female pronouns or talk about really sapphic experiences and people STILL think you’re talking about a man. Mastermind behavior is making an album about taking a lantern out to find yourself (based on a quote from your favorite lesbian poet) and then having two totally different aesthetics for it to reveal that there’s two different Taylor’s (a public girly girl who causes trouble vs. a soft, shy tomboy who hides and has no one but ghosts living in her house) and saying DID YOU HEAR MY COVERT NARCISSISM I DISGUISED AS ALTRUISM LIKE SOME KIND OF CONGRESS MAN with a visual of you bleeding a gay sparkly color that only comes out if you are attacked or drunk because you are so scared that you are some kind of monster that your fans are all going to turn on.

When you attack Gaylors, you attack Taylor. We’re not gross. We’re not speculating. We literally see her and we KNOW this story from the inside out because it’s OUR story, too. It’s our shared secret pining and fears of being rejected by the world and wondering if the coast is clear and wrestling with religious trauma and trying not too hurt our parents and just wanting to still be seen as something good instead of demonic and weird. Taylor is scared of you and what you’re going to do to her when you find out. She’s begging you to still love her when she shows you who you are. She’s screaming in color so LOUDLY so that we all figure it out first and don’t have to make her say it because she’s got a lump in her throat and she’s terrified of the irreversible damage she could cause in her own fandom.

Be fucking nice to us

P.S. I hid a little easter egg about my sexuality in this! Let’s see if you can find it!!!!! 😘

If you believe Taylor Swift is a straight woman who thinks your shipping videos of her and Harry Styles are cute then I don’t think you remember that in her reputation prologue Taylor LITERALLY said gossip blogs were incorrect about her dating life (cough Joe cough), asked you not to use her songs as a paternity test, and said she only shows you what she has chosen for you to see. She wants you to LISTEN TO HER and to dive deeper into what she is trying to show you beneath the surface. Not to be a lazy basic bitch who believes everything they see. There will be no explanation because it’s FUCKING obvious. She started showing you exactly who she is through bait and switch lyrics and visuals and hairpin drops BUT YOU WEREN’T EVEN LISTENING. You’re insulting the queen’s intelligence if you truly think she hates gaylors and is team dick. Bye.

taylor, give me dress and electric touch and i’ll never ask you for anything again

uhhh Shay Mitchell is a gaylor confirmed???